No Fuel Jokes
117 no fuel jokes and hilarious no fuel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about no fuel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest No Fuel Short Jokes
Short no fuel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The no fuel humour may include short fuel jokes also.
- In a couple weeks, all gas stations are going to cut prices in half for a whole day April Fuels!
- I think it's smart for Texans to remove books from libraries... They're going to need more fuel for the fires after the Power Grid fails again
- SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency.
- I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette. The police arrested her for waving a firearm.
- for all the ladies waiting for their prince on a white horse Keep up your hopes. With price of fuel it could happen any day now
- Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at the gas station? It was an April fuels joke.
- Apparently I've been banned from the gas station for playing 'The Who' too loudly on my car stereo... I won't get fueled again.
- In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices. It's true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme
- So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car. The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.
- I'm at the gas station right now... Just kidding. I am not at the gas station right now. April Fuels
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No Fuel One Liners
Which no fuel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with no fuel? I can suggest the ones about gas tank and car gas.
- What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa? Outtagascar
- What fuels electronics but drains a relationship? Battery
- If your car is too heavy You can always use lighter fuel.
- We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme.
- What does the train use to fuel it's gaming addiction? steam.
I'm so sorry. - Which Spicegirl can carry the most fuel? Geri can
- What do you call it when a boomer pushes their broken car down the road? Fossil fuel
- My wife drinks gasoline on this specific date. April Fuels.
- Finally going to refuel my car.. It's April Fuels Day.
- Have you heard the story about the dinosaur who found love? It hit me right in the fuels.
- What fuel do birds use to fly? Geesel
- The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire
- What do you call a spaceship that runs on all natural fuel? The Millenial falcon
- Roses are red, their stems are green ... Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams.
- "Pikachu, use astonish!" *Leans into opponent's ear*
"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."
No Fuel Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about no fuel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pumping gas jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make no fuel pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women.
Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone.
But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.
Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!
Do you have the airfield in sight?"
Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
You need some more fuel for that fire? Cause I got some wood for you right here.
You: "Hey! What's your stomach fuel level on?"
Student: "E! I'm starvin'!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies...
who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane h**... and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."
"What's that?"
"Have you f**... yet?" "No....."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
What weighs more than a car and consumes a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?
Your mom.
Four engineers in a car...
Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously the fuel's gone bad. We need to drain the tank and refill." The mechanical engineer scoffs; "you're both wrong. Sounds to me like a valve lifter is froze. We're gonna need to rip the block apart."
After another moment of silence the three look back at the computer engineer who says; "maybe if we get out of the car and get back in?"
What did James Hetfield say when he go to the gas station?
Gimme fuel
You hear about these new trains that can burn any organic matter for fuel?
They even run on thyme!
Remembering idioms is easy
It's not rocket fuel
What can't jet fuel melt melt aside from steel beams?
Mountains.
What would be the American version of "Duck Quacks Don't Echo"?
"Jet Fuel Don't Melt Steel Beams".
Climate skeptics and 9/11-truthers unite!
Alternative fuel can't melt steel beams!
I can't believe how much money I've spent fueling my drinking problem.
Time to start brewing coffee at home.
What does RoboCop use for fuel?
Petroleum
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fine Bros can't sue metal beams,
Because they don't react to jet fuel.
What did Amelia Earhart learn?
Triplane fuel can't melt sea beams.
Four students are having a problem with their car...
Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road.
"The ignition is damaged" says the electrical engineer.
"The fuel pipe is clogged" says the chemist.
"Engines is damaged" says the engineer.
"Lets just get out of the car and get in again" says the computer scientist.
Junk foods are so versatile!
A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election!
What do you call gambling currency that can't melt steel beams?
Bet fuel
The Google car won't use any fuel
It will run on a search engine
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today I went to a gas station and switched the Regular, Plus, and Premium b**... on all the pumps...
April Fuels!
Twenty One Preachers
Fueled by Amen.
A black man attended a protest against fossil fuels...
And got six global warming shots in his back.
What are three most useless things in aviation?
The runway behind you.
The altitude above you.
The fuel back at the fbo still in the fuel truck.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What type of fuel do painters prefer?
Whatever makes the van gogh..
-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as s**... as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.
A lot of different plants can be turned into alcohol and then used for trucking fuel. I tried this with juniper berries.
I call it gin diesel.
Today I saw a car stop at a zebra crossing in India to let one person cross...
but then I realised it had just run out of fuel.
TIL that one of the problems in spaceflight is "outgassing", which is the release of extra gases from fuel tanks and affects the craft's trajectory, etc.
TIL I am a spaceship.
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What kind of fuel do you put in a s**... ambiguous car?
Genderfluid.
Why was the archaeologist sad?
Because his career was in ruins!!
Give me your downvotes; I AM FUELED BY YOUR DOWNVOTES!!!!
A blonde...
...works in a petrol station filling up cars. One day, a spaceship with 'UFO' written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flied off.
The blonde's boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.
"Do you know what 'UFO' stands for?" He asks.
"Of course." She replies, "Unleaded Fuel Only".
credits to u/Mr-Everest
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EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.
After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from Frank Gaybeau's c**... induced, hotel filled, 5 figure by the hour e**... stuffed full on satanic o**... fest.
Why don't you see mumble rappers at gas stations?
You can't fuel up your car with a Lil' Pump.
My wife's car has a low fuel warning light that tells her when...
...it's time to drive my car for a couple of days
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wintertime joke: Give man fire and he will stay warm until it's fuel is consumed.
Set a man on fire and he will stay warm his entire life.
How many New Jersians or Oregonians does it take to fuel a car?
One, if they are a qualified, trained vehicle fueling technician.
Did you know that herbs are a good fuel source?
Yes, Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
Two blondes in a helicopter
Two blondes won a joy ride in a helicopter. As they reached maximum altitude one turned to the other and said "I hope nothing goes wrong, have they got enough fuel?" The other responded "I hope so too, imagine if they ran out, we'd be stuck up here forever!"
Today I learned that burning fossil fuels...
is one of the leading causes of statistics.
A man in my town was arrested for indecent exposure when he forgot to close his fuel filler door on his car.
He was showing the public his gas hole.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Xanax-fueled o**...?
A Gucci Bang.
The bottom suddenly falls out of a plane.
All passengers hold themselves up in the conveniently placed assist grips.
The usual jingle is heard through the speakers, as the co-pilot speaks slowly and clearly: "Just now, all of our fuel has been used."
The frightened passengers look at each other.
The pilot speaks again with heavy breathing: "We need to lose some weight to assure a safe landing. If you are unselfish, brave and willing to be a hero, please let go of the assistive grips."
A deep voice pierces the air. "I'm on it" a middle-aged man says, letting go and falling to his doom.
Amused by his empathy and bravery, the rest of the passengers proceed to clap.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's fuel tank as a joke...
That truck is now know as Optimus Prime.
I haven't been able to fuel my ATM addiction for a few weeks
But I'm not having withdrawals
When you're trying to slingshot around jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons...
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
I was filling up my car and fuel leaked onto the ground in the shape of "HA."
Guess someone knew I needed some laughing gas.
What did the turkey say to the fuel less car?
Happy tanks-giving!
I'm starting an activist group to support the use of fossil fuels.
Join the coalalition today!
Why did the automotive engineer scream at his Toyota during his fuel efficiency experiments?
He was a car berater!
Why does Mr. T drive a Tesla?
Because he pities the fuel.
What do you call an ion engine which has run out of fuel?
An ioff engine
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Stirlitz
Stirlitz saw how two German soldiers pour a gasoline on a cat and set it on fire. Poor cat runs in agony and after few seconds fall on ground and dies. He ran out of fuel - Stirlitz said.
What kind of fuel does the Fast and the Furious cast use
Vin Diesel
What do you feed a female horse after dark?
Nightmare fuel
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Why does h**... like being on Santa's naughty list?
Because those ovens aren't going to run without a source of fuel!
Why don't you have to wait in line for fuel in Cuba?
Because theres no fuel to begin with
Years ago, I invented an aviation fuel made of water,
but it never took off.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What fuel does a t**... Van run off?
Gender fluid
Two old men were waiting for their steam train which was running late.
"I know this train driver, his name is Bob. First time he's ever been late," one says.
"All train drivers are late some days," replies the other.
"No, not Bob, ever. He may never speak to anyone, or even look them in the eye, but he gets on that train and burns his secret ingredient and arrives on time every day without fail. 20 years, and never a minute late, quite incredible."
"Secret ingredient?"
"Oh yes, he adds mussels and oysters to the fuel. Reckons it gives a boost."
"So why is he late today? Think he got fed up and quit?"
"Oh no, not Bob. He just has low shellfish steam."
I make no apologies.
This is a man that sold his car....
so he can be able to buy some fuel!
Two Nuns run out of gas...
Two Nuns run out of gas a mile from the gas station.
They are rummaging around the car for a gas can, or some other container to hold the fuel but all they can find is a bed pan.
So they take the bed pan and walk the mile to the station, fill the pan and walk back to the car.
So there they are, two Nuns in full Nun garb pouring gas into the vehicle from a bed pan.
A man driving by sees the Nuns, sees the bed pan and exclaims:
"Oh, Lord! Now that is faith!"
A Qatari,American,and Indian are in a boat in middle of sea.All are bragging about their country
The Qatari : In our country,we have excess of oil.*Throws all fuel in the sea*.
The American : In our country,we have excess of advandced gadgets and technology.*Throws every gadget in the sea*.
The Indian : *Throws both of them in the sea*.In our country, we have excess of people.
Why did the gas station put propane in the gas tanks?
April fuels!
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A large oil company has announced it's going to start producing fuel from insect u**....
I think it's BP