No Arms And Legs Jokes
8 no arms and legs jokes and hilarious no arms and legs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about no arms and legs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good no arms and legs joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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What do you call a p**... with no arms and legs?
A cash and carry
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs who's swimming?
Bob
What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?
2^nd base.
What do you call a man with no arms and legs who rides on a woman's shoulder?
Percy
How many possibilities does a man with no arms and legs have?
Limbitless
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up.
A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her
first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another
woman. Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy her
s**..., so she put an ad in the classifieds:
Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won't beat me, won't leave me,
and is good in bed.
About a week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a
man with no arms and legs on her front porch.
"I'm here about your ad," he says.
"You must be mistaken," she says.
"Let me explain," he says. "I can't beat you, I don't have any arms.
And I can't run away because I don't have any legs."
"But," she asks, "How do I know you're good in bed?"
"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady on the beach
There was a lady lying on the beach one day who had no arms and legs. Whenever a handsome fellow would walk by her though she would start crying, and eventually one stopped and asked her "what is wrong?"
She replied with "Since I have no limbs, nobody has ever hugged me before."
The man feeling bad picks her up and gives her a long and very satisfying hug. As he sets her down and starts to leave, she starts crying again. So he asks her again "Lady, what is wrong?"
She replied with "Since I have no limbs nobody has ever kissed me before."
The man then kisses her very romantically and loving. Though as soon as he gets up and leaves she starts to cry again, and he asks her "Lady, what is wrong now?"
She replies "I have never been s**... before."
So the man picks her up and carries her into the ocean and tosses her as far as he can. Then he says "Well, you are now."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Woman with no arms and legs.
heres mine a man goes down to a beach and is just walking and sees this woman with no arms and legs crying. The man asks her whats wrong. She replies "ive never been hugged before." So the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day the man is walking on the beach and sees the same woman crying. Once again the man asks her whats wrong. She says "ive never been kissed before". The man kisses her then walks away. The next day he goes to the beach and sees the lady yet again still crying. "What now?" The man says. The lady replies "well, ive never been s**... before." The man gets so mad he picks up the lady and throws her in the water and yells, "there, now your s**...!" and walks away.
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