The Best 35 Nissan Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Nissan jokes. There are some nissan audi jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these nissan nissan altima puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Nissan Jokes and Puns

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.

A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.

The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"

"It's hard to say."

A Japanese businessman hails a taxi...

As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by.

"Oooh," exclaims the businessman, "that's a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!"

Moments later, another car speeds ahead.

"Ahhhhh," exclaims the businessman again, "a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!"

Then once more, another car rushes ahead.

"Oooooh," exclaims the businessman, "a Mitsubishi! Made in Japan and very fast again!"

Then they reach their destination.

"Why bill so big?!" complained the Japanese.
"Meter's made in Japan," replied the driver. "Very fast!"

What do little sisters love to ride?

A nissan.

Nissan joke, What do little sisters love to ride?

I turned over a brand new leaf today...

the folks at the Nissan dealership were not very happy with me.

Gambling in Vegas

My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went to town in a $20,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche.

I thought "nice, I'm going to get in on that." So I left for Vegas in my $30,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle.

A Greyhound bus.


I've been having trouble meeting girls, so I asked my dad for some advice. He said that if I wanted to break the ice, the next time I go out, I should use this pickup line...

"Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra, Nissan Titan, GMC Sierra, Honda Ridgeline..."

What do you call it when two Nissan Cubes get into an accident?

A wreck-tangle.

Nissan joke, What do you call it when two Nissan Cubes get into an accident?

Why did the ancient egyptians all love Nissan?

Because Nissan Sentra.


My wife says I'm going to Duat for this one....

My muslim neighbors were fighting over their suzuki and nissan cars.

The Ciaz vs Sunny problems are getting out of hand.

What's a weebs favorite car?

A Nissan

What does a little sister ride?

A Niisan.

You can explore nissan mazda reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean nissan tow dad jokes. There are also nissan puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What does a Japanese person say when their older brother crashes their car?

Oh, Nissan!

What kind of car does a big brother drive?

A Nissan.

What do you call the world's most badass sedan?

A Liam Nissan

What is another name for a Nissan Cube?

A tool box.

What's the difference between an SUV and a car driving the wrong way on a one way street?

One's a Nissan Rogue; the other is a rogue Nissan.

Nissan joke, What's the difference between an SUV and a car driving the wrong way on a one way street?

2% of Japanese have cataracts...

The rest drive Toyota and Nissan.

I threw up whilst driving on a twisty road...

A Nissan Juke had passed me

What kind of car did Pavarotti drive?

A Nissan Dorma.


Liam Neeson is making a cameo in the up coming "Cars 3"

...as himself, Liam Nissan.

What is Darth Vader's favorite Nissan vehicle?

The Rogue one.

What does a Japanese girl ride??

Niisan.

What does an onii-chan drive?

A Niisan.

*cue rimshot*

What's a loli's favourite car?

A Niisan.

What car brand is older than you?

Nissan

(Nii-san)

What kind of car does the loch Ness monster drive?

A Nissan tree fiddy!

What's the beat car to take your daughter from human traffickers?

A Liam Nissan.

The car makers Nissan are designing a camper van.

It's to be called the Nissan Dorma.

My friend loves Star Wars. He told me that he painted his Nissan to be Star Wars themed.

I just have a Toyota.

I'll walk myself out.

Why shouldn't Nissan owners keep antacids in their car?

People usually don't respond well to Altima Tums.

There must be opera lovers at Nissan. I'm surprised they haven't named a model Dorma.

No point in losing sleep over it, I guess.

What's the Japanese Term for incest?

Riding your Nissan

Did you hear the one about the man who was run over by a Nissan?

He had to pay the altamate price.

What do you call a car accident between two Nissan pick-up trucks?

Crash of the Titans

What does a little sister drive?

A niisan.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the nissan vehicle jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working nissan nissan juke piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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