Ninth Jokes
26 ninth jokes and hilarious ninth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ninth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ninth Short Jokes
Short ninth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ninth humour may include short tenth jokes also.
- I once had 9 different dates, the first eight we went for a meal and on the ninth it was a film. It went dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner…Batman.
- I really don't understand why people tell 9/11 jokes. What happened on the ninth of November?
- ''Hey kid, do you know which dwarf planet used to be the ninth planet?'' ''I know...it's Goofy!''
''...What?''
''Isn't it named after a dog in Disney?'' - When the UPS guy asked if I wanted the feathers under a birds exterior layer delivered to me, I responded with ELO's ninth track on the album discovery
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Ninth One Liners
Which ninth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ninth? I can suggest the ones about number 9 and eighth.
- There is no month that is the ninth month of the year Exceptember
- What song is ninth out of eleven of all time? Dust in the wind.
Comical Ninth Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about ninth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sixth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ninth pranks.
9 is enough.
Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest.
He congratulates her on the new offspring and says, "Nine children is certainly a full house."
"Well," she replies, "I don't know how I get pregnant so often. It must be something in the air."
"Yes," says the priest, "your legs."
Be verbs.
The teacher asked the class to stand one by one and compose a simple sentence using appropriate be verbs.
"She is beautiful", said Kate.
"My dogs are fat", shouted Mark.
"I is...", stuttered Joe when the teacher interrupted.
"You always say 'I am'. Never say 'I is'", said she.
As fast as he could, Joe uttered,
"I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Careful what you wish for!
I don't think I ever got over
my grandmother's death when I was a kid.
My grandmother died from a heart attack
during my ninth birthday party.
Literally while she was eating cake.
And I guess that must have s**... me up a little bit.
I mean, I still have birthday parties.
But now I'm just careful what I wish for.
—Anthony Jeselnik
A teacher was teaching sentences in school.
"Wendy," she says. "Say a sentence that starts with the letter I."
"I is..." Wendy says before she gets cut off by the teacher.
"No, it is 'I *am,*' not 'I is.' Try again," the teacher corrects.
"Okay... I *am* the ninth letter of the alphabet," Wendy says.
Funny Classroom Jokes
Teacher to student: Make a sentence using the word I
Student: I is..
Teacher: No that is not correct, you should say I am
Student: Ok. I am the ninth letter in the Alphabet !
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Scientists had already discovered a ninth planet 5000 times the size of Pluto years ago
Your Mum
My mom said that every day that has the number "one" in it, we can go on the computer, weird rule, but oh well, I have no choice but to follow it.
The first comes around, I ask my mom if I can go on the computer, she said no. I'm confused now, then the second comes, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh. I ask her again. No, twelfth, nope! I sit on the couch.
I sigh. "Maybe one day I'll get to go on the computer."
My mother replies, "that's the plan."
There are 10 types of people in the world
Those in the first decile,
Those in the second decile,
Those in the third decile,
Those in the fourth decile,
Those in the fifth decile,
Those in the sixth decile,
Those in the seventh decile,
Those in the eighth decile,
Those in the ninth decile,
And finally, those in the tenth decile.
Kids are the best..
Teacher: Quvenzhané, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
Quvenzhané: I is...
Teacher: No, Quvenzhané...... always say, 'I am.'
Quvenzhané: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
A Prince Under A Spell
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her my darling. But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?
And the lady said, Pardon?
oof
A man sits next to a blonde on an airplane...
He says to the blonde, knowing he could outsmart her, If I give you a question you cannot answer, you must pay me $10.
But if you give me a question I cannot answer, I will pay you $100.
She agrees, and the man asks his question.
What is the ninth digit of pi?
She says, I have no idea , and hands the man $10. She continues, What has three legs, four eyes, and is nocturnal?
The man responds, after thinking for a good minute, I have zero clue and hands the woman $100.
What was the answer to that question, by the way?
The woman responds, I don't know , and hands the man another $10.
A prince under a spell
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her my darling. But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?
And the lady said, Pardon?
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.
If he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her my darling. But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?
And the lady said, I'm gay"
Ludwig van Beethoven
A music scholar was touring through a graveyard in Vienna when he heard music coming out of a grave. On inspection, he found the headstone as Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. The music was the Ninth Symphony being played backwards. He soon rang up a friend who came in time to hear the Seventh Symphony being played backwards. They hurried to call an expert who hurried to them to hear the Fifth Symphony playing backwards. All the more weird was the fact that symphonies were being played in the reverse order in which they were composed. When the caretaker of the graveyard heard this, the only comment he made was, "What's the wonder! He's just decomposing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A h**... is the First in his Family to Attend Ninth Grade...
Jethro is the first in a long line of h**... and bumpkins to attend schooling beyond the eighth grade. After his first day of high school, the whole family is bursting with pride to see him swaggering up the driveway.
His father says, "Jethro, come tell us about that fancy high school! What'd you learn up there today?"
Jethro says, "Pa, they taught me some al-gee-bra."
His father is dumbstruck. "What is al-gee-bra, boy?"
Jethro says, "I ain't too sure. I think it's a math language."
His father says, "Well, speak some of that fancy al-gee-bra for us!"
Jethro says, "Pi R Squared."
Everyone in the family stops smiling. Jethro's father shakes his head. "No, boy. Pie are round. Cornbread are squared."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had 10 bottles of r**.......
...the good sort. But my wife forced me to throw away them all.
I took the first bottle, drank a glass and threw the rest on the sink.
Took the second bottle,drank a glass and threw the rest on the sink.
Took the third bottle, drank the rest and threw the glass on the sink.
Took the fourth bottle, drank in the sink and threw the rest on the glass.
Took the fifth glass, threw the cork on the sink and drank the bottle.
Took the sixth sink, drank the bottle and thew the glass on the rest.
The seventh bottle i took the rest and drank in the sink.
Took the glass, drank the rest and threw the sink on the eighth bottle.
Threw the ninth sink on the glass, took the bottle and drank the rest.
On the tenth glass, i took on the bottle on the rest and threw myself on the sink.
The Orchestra
In an orchestra that's practicing Beethoven's Ninth for an upcoming show, there are three guys that play bass. Just down the street from the church where they practice is a small bar. Every practice there would be a break where the basses didn't play, so the basses would sneak out the back of the church and go to the bar for a drink or two, and then get back just in time to finish the show. This continued until the night of the show. While the orchestra is warming up, one bassist turns to the others and says, 'We can't sneak out again, it's the night of the show!' Another bassist replies, 'Don't worry, we can make it. I tied some string around the score so that the conductor will take time to untie it. We have even more time to drink tonight than we did at the practices!' So the basses sneak out, but have a couple drinks too many. Right as they stumble in, the conductor turns the page to reveal the string around the music. He suddenly realizes that it's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.
The London Philharmonic is getting set up to play Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.
Everybody's practicing their parts, except for the bass players - they barely have any notes at all, just at the very beginning and the very end. So they hatch a plan: during the performance, they'll all sneak out and go to the pub for some brews. The lead bassist ties a string to the last page of the conductor's score, to alert them so they can get back in time.
Performance night rolls around, and the curtains roll up to a magnificent opening segment. The bassists duck behind the percussion and run to the nearest bar. They order a couple of drinks and joke to themselves about how ridiculous they look in tailed, double-breasted tuxedos when suddenly they are approached by a man dressed even more formally, wearing a crown and long gown. He introduces himself as the Count of Bavaria, a true regal fellow. Before they know it everybody is chatting it up and the Count orders a *huge* plate of nachos. This is a massive plate - big enough for three men - but the Count, he must be starving because he eats every last bite. The bassists are enjoying their drinks and starting to get a bit drunk, when they notice they've got to rush back... Meanwhile, back at the performance, the conductor has turned the last page. He sees the string, and it dawns on him: it's the bottom of the ninth, the bassists are loaded and the count is full.
