Ninja Jokes
130 ninja jokes and hilarious ninja puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ninja that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make Halloween even more fun with these hilarious Ninja Jokes! Get ready for laughs with jokes about dumb, kid and spy ninjas, even from popular characters like Hanzo and juggalos. Share with friends and family to get the whole party laughing at these silly ninja-themed jokes about villains.
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Funniest Ninja Short Jokes
Short ninja jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ninja humour may include short samurai jokes also.
- My girlfriend is kind of like a ninja attack.. They're two things I'll never see coming.
(I've never been so proud of myself for writing a joke) - How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves
- I met a ninja and asked if he could throw those pointy stars that ninjas have. He said, "shuriken."
- The Ninja Turtles went to a weapons store. They all got what they wanted except for Raphael They didn't have his sai's.
- Ninja Joke Can a viking throw an axe?
Sure he can.
Can a cowboy throw a lasso?
Sure he can.
Can a ninja throw a spinning blade?
Shuriken. - What's the difference between a ginger and a ninja? One's a soulless killing machine. The other is a highly trained martial artist.
- I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.
- Joke from my 7 year old cousin - Why did the ninja go to college? He wanted to be a ninja-neer.
- Me to a ninja: Hey, can you show me how you precisely cut off tree branches with those throwing stars? Shuriken.
(Came up with this ex nihilo, please like) - My girlfriend said she was looking at ninja stars online. I told her to stop being racist. They're just called Japanese actors.
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Ninja One Liners
Which ninja one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ninja? I can suggest the ones about warrior and samurai sword.
- I once went to visit Japan and I haven't seen a single ninja. Impressive.
- How many ninjas does it take to... Where did that lightbulb come from?!
- Can the ninja throw his ninja stars? Shurikan
- What do you call a red headed ninja? A Ginja
- What happens when you make a noise in Ninja Church? The nun chucks you out.
- What do you get when you cross a hippie with a ninja? Peace and quiet.
- What is an office ninja's most deadly weapon? The element of supplies
- I'm like a ninja at the gym Cause you'll never see me there
- What did the ninja say when asked if he can kill a man with ninja stars? Shuriken
- What do ninjas drink? WATAH!!!
- What did the claustrophobic ninja do when he fell down a well? He flipped out
- What does a sick ninja practice? kung flu
- Can a ninja bring a ninja star into the airport? Shuriken.
- Can a ninja aim precisely? surehecan
- What shoes does ninjas use? Sneakers.
Ninja Turtle Jokes
Here is a list of funny ninja turtle jokes and even better ninja turtle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list? Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell.
- Why was the little boy too scared to reach into his Happy Meal for the Ninja Turtles toy? Last time he did it, he got a Splinter.
- What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons? Those are the wrong Sais
- Why do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles burn all their bank statements? Because they don't want to have a Shredder in the house.
- What do you call a ninja turtle with an addiction to pastries? Donutello
- What do the ninja turtles like to put on their toasts? Donutella
- What's a Ninja Turtle's favorite equation? A radical equation.
- Why don't the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?
- What does a Ninja Turtle call its belt? ....A Ninja Girdle.
- A teenage mutant ninja turtle walks into a bar Yeah, right, like ninjas would ever be *seen* walking into a bar.
Great Ninja Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about ninja you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean panda jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ninja pranks.
tell me your best " i was gonna tell a joke about X but Y"
mine is i was going to tell a joke about Wisconsin but it was too cheesy.
ninja
I just finished reading a scholarly book that exploring the African American experience in samurai culture I highly recommend it.
It's called, "Ninja, Please"
Did you hear about the world's greatest ninja...?
Me neither.
Mime Ninja
Silent, But Deadly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Best short jokes?
I need a joke for a meeting we have tomorrow at work but I cant remember any good ones after following this tradition weekly for the last few months.
It must be short with just an opening line and a punchline like this:
**Can a ninja throw a star?**
**Shuriken**
The punchline doesnt have to be one word of course, but it cant be a long joke.
Can anybody remember any good ones?
Hopefully you guys get it.
A man was looking for a person to teach him martial arts, so he goes in to see a supposed ninja to ask for lessons. When he walks in he sees the ninja slicing at a fly with his sword, but not being able to kill it. The man says, "How can you teach me martial arts if you can't even hit a fly!?" The ninja then reply's, "Oh, don't worry, that fly won't be having any children."
Can a ninja kill you with a hidden bladed circle of metal?
Shuriken
An Interview with a Master Ninja
When questioned on whether he thought his pupil could win his upcoming training match the Sensei had this to say:
"Shuriken".
What do you call a Russian ninja?
Shneakoff
( I apologise, this is my first ever post so I'm using that as my excuse)
Two Ninjas
What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?
Numchucks.
What is it called when a ninja flees the scene of an accident?
Hidden Run.
What was the ninja pigs' surprise attack called?
Hambush
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Can a ninja kill someone from a distance?
Shuriken!
Do you think the writers for all the teenage mutant ninja turtle movies had trouble deciding if Krang should be in them?
Because I think it must have been a no brainer
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chuck Norris once flushed a c**...
Three weeks later the ninja turtles were born
Where do ninjas come from?
Out of nowhere!
When somebody said I could never be a ninja I replied,
"Shurikan"
The worlds best ninjas comes from Iceland
Anyone actually seen an Icelandic ninja?
What do you call a stealthy gay guy?
A fruit Ninja
A guy goes to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend on his back....
When asked what he has come as he tells everyone, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle of course"
"What's that on your back then???"
"Oh, that's Michele he replies"
How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. It's a huge problem.
What's a German Ninja drink beer out of?
A clandestein.
What movies teach us.
According to Hollywood movies - 1 out of every 5 Americans work for the CIA .
According to Chinese movie- 1 out of every 5 Chinese is a Kungfu master.
According to Japanese movies- Every 1 out of 5 Japanese is a Ninja.
According to Indian movies - Every hero in a movie is a dancer and a singer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear that M. Night Shyamalan is making a new movie about a ninja with a n**... f**...?
You'll never see the twist coming
Did you see the 75th annual ninja parade in downtown Tokyo?
Neither did anyone else...
My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn't heard before.
My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.
Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"
Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."
Doesn't have a clue why I was laughing so hard.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend was r**... by a teenager mutant ninja turtle.
He wasn't wearing a mask, so we don't know which one did it.
I have conversational ninja skills...
People don't notice when I'm talking.
Two ninjas were having an argument
Two ninjas were arguing over which one was the better ninja.
The first says, "Man, you can't even throw a ninja star."
The second ninja says, "Shuriken."
Two ninjas are training in a field.
One ninja says "I'll bet you can't hit that that target with your throwing star."
The other ninja says "Shur-I-ken."
Can a ninja scale a wall in a single leap?
Shuriken.
How does a ninja shop for groceries?
No one knows.
There is a man with a friend who is a ninja....
The man asks, "Ninja, can you help me out with this lightbulb?"
The ninja replies "Shur-i-ken!"
Did you know the ninjas have gotten together and formed a union?
They strike from the shadows.
A man walks into the ninja doctor's office
The doctor will see you. But you won't see him.
"Ninja kills Mime"
Nobody heard about it
What do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles call Usain Bolt?
Master Sprinter.
How does a ninja say hi?
Hiyah
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You're the best ninja I've ever seen!
And the worst ninja in general.
Why are ninjas such productive people?
Because they carry Shurikans not Shurikants.
Ninjas are like virgins....
No one ever sees them coming
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Being caught m**... at ninja school means instant expulsion.
They should never see you coming.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What weapon does a ninja use when he just really don't care..
Nun-Fukks
I realized placing a long umbrella on my back does not make me like a ninja samurai...
But more like a Teletubbies.
A ninja, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender says, Good to see you two
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
'Teenage Mutant Ninja Rapists'
Coming in April
How do ninjas drink beer?
They shogun it.
When I tell people I'm a ninja, they always ask if I can throw a star. And I always tell them
Shuriken
Why was the ninja fired from his job?
He was shuriken his duties.
What type of shoes does a ninja wear?
Sneakers.
A friend just told me this pun and I thought I might share it. I don't know if it has been posted to this sub yet.
I would have graduated from Ninja School
But nobody knew I was in the class
Why was the ninja so good at baking pastries?
Because he had a black belt in martial tarts.
A Pirate, Rabbi, Ninja, and Giraffe walk into a bar together.
The bartender looks at all of them and asks out loud, "What is this? A joke?!"
A priest, a nun, a giraffe, a telepathic unicorn, 21 pilots, Pennywise the clown, a ninja and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender, struggling to open the champagne, says
...yeah I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off.
What does your wife and a ninja have in common?
You'll never see her coming
What's the difference between ninja skunks and bees?
Ninja skunks will stink and kill ya, while bees will sting and kill ya.
What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?
A Kobe Shinobi!
Why do ninjas cover their nose and mouth?
Because if they cant see if they cover their eyes
