Nineteen Jokes
10 nineteen jokes and hilarious nineteen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nineteen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring a smile to your face with this collection of nineteen jokes about everything from Covid-19 to Epsilon Minus Twentyone. Laugh with friends and family during these trying times with these funny quips!
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Hilarious Nineteen Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What is a good nineteen joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A bus full of cheerleaders went off a cliff
Miraculously, all twenty of them managed to grab onto the same branch sticking out of the cliffside. There were nineteen beautiful blondes and one brunette. The brunette saw the branch was starting to break, so she made a decision.
"Listen ladies," she said. "As skinny as we are, this branch can't hold all our weight. You're all so beautiful and talented, so I'm going to let go in hopes that it's enough to save your lives. Tell my family I love them."
The blondes were so moved by her selfless sacrifice that they gave her a round of applause.
Parking...
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate.
He walked up to the driver's window and knocked.
The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.
"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.
"I'm nineteen," he replied.
"And how old is she?" asked the officer.
.
.
.
The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen."
Nineteen blondes go to the cinema...
when the ticket vendor asked why there are so many of them they replied "the film said 18 or over".
I just got a pet raven. I'm going to name him Nineteen.
Corvid Nineteen.
I'm nineteen and won't vote in this upcoming election. Here's why:
I'm Swedish
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.
A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.
Father O'Malley, he says, my name is Emil Cohen. I'm seventy-eight years old. Believe it or not, I'm currently involved with a twenty-eight-year-old girl, and also, on the side, her nineteen-year-old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better.
My good man, says the priest, I think you've come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?
And the guy goes: I'm telling everybody!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I decided to buy nineteen dollars worth of white guilt the other day...
...or as other people call it Twelve Years A s**....
What's the most ironic movie of the nineteen eighties?
Ferrous Bueller's Day Off
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
Blonde Convention
(*I heard this from a friend, sorry if it is a repost.*)
A group of blonde people decided to get together and hold a blonde convention to prove that blondes aren't dumb. They invited all the blonde people in the area.
In the middle of the event, they chose one random person from the crowd to answer questions, to prove she could answer them as well as anybody else.
"What is twelve plus three?" asked the interviewer.
"Nineteen," she responded. The interviewer felt very uncomfortable, however, the crowd was still supportive. To help get the girl's confidence back up, they shouted, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
"I'm going to ask you another question," said the interviewer. "What is ten times five?"
The blonde was sure she would get it right this time. "Sixty!" she said.
The interviewer shook her head, but again, the crowd cheered, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The interviewer said, "I'm going to give you one last chance. This will be a very easy question. What is two plus one?"
"Three!" said the blonde, happy to get a question she could finally answer correctly.
The interviewer was about to congratulate when she was interrupted by the cheering of the crowd: "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
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