Nines Jokes

9 nines jokes and hilarious nines puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nines that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Ridiculous Nines Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What is a good nines joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

My wife asked me how she compared to past girlfriends...

So I told her she was the only one I had been with!
The others were all eights and nines.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd been with

She said yes, all the others had been nines and tens

My wife said I'm the only one she's ever been with

The rest were eights and nines.

I assured my wife she's the only one I've ever slept with

The others have mostly been eight and nines.
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My girlfriend asked me:

Am I the only one you ever slept with?
I said:
Sure u are, the rest were all nines and tens!

My husband asked me if he was the only one I had been with?

I told him, yes, all the others were nines & tens

I met a German girl today.

Her phone number is pretty weird, it's all nines.

A man counterfeits $18 bills...

...and needs to get rid of them, so he takes a trip through rural Iowa. Coming to a small general store at a remote crossroads, he goes in and asks the old man behind the counter if he would please break his bill. The old man replies, "Sure, would you like 2 nines or 3 sixes?"

A rich man brings a p**... to a fancy party

The two enter the ballroom with arms in grasp.

The man, with a new suit, clean shave, and an outrageously expensive watch, was clearly dressed to the nines.

The p**..., barely covered and well worked, had been payed handsomely for her time.

The two approach the bar and both order a whiskey, neat; the prim proper elderly waitress responds with a putrid gasp,
I'm sorry, I cannot serve you, as this is the punch line.