nightmares Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious nightmares puns

Why do black people always have nightmares?

Because we shot the last one that had a dream.

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Jesus loves you.

A beautiful sentiment to hear at church.

The stuff of nightmares in a Mexican prison.

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Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we killed the one who had a dream.
Happy MLK day

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Why do black men have nightmares?

We killed the only one who had a dream.

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Why do African Americans always have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot

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I keep having bad dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking me while I'm cooking. I call them my...

Rameses kitchen nightmares.

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All of my wet dreams are nightmares

I call them scream and creams

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Bill Cosby is a lot like Freddy Kruger. They both come in your nightmares.

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What kind of horses go out after dusk?

Nightmares

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Thrilling Theorised Therapeutic Prothedures

A man having recurring nightmares about monsters under his bed eventually decides to visit a therapist. After trying different pills, consultations and visiting experts all over the country, still having nightmares, the man decides to visit another doctor. Two weeks later, the first therapist sees the man looking rested and healthy, and so asks "Has your problem been fixed already? The man you contacted must be a genius! Pray tell me, how did he solve your nightmares?"
"Well" The man replies, "he told me to cut off the legs of my bed."

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What kind of horses only come out after dark?

Nightmares!

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I still have nightmares....

I still have nightmares about the time I gave my Eskimo friend a house warming gift...

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Local police have reported finding a body in the river. They say it's hideous, bloated and the smell is indescribable. It's ruin of a face is reportedly the stuff of nightmares. Obviously I'm really worried.

Just drop me a text and let me know you're okay.

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Why do black people only ever have nightmares?

Why do black people only ever have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot.

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A man suffering for weeks from terrible nightmares goes to the doctor…

Man: Please doctor, you've got to help me with these nightmares!

Doctor: What type of dreams are you having?

Man: Well, I always dream of these awful rats playing football. Seeing them crawl, tackle, squeal night after nightβ€”it's terrible! Do you have a remedy for me?

Doctor: I've got the cure for you right here. This pill is so strong, so powerful, you will never have nightmares!

Man: Ok great! Can I take this pill tomorrow night?

Doctor: Yes, but why don't you want to start today?

Man: Well, it's just that the championship match is tonight.

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Yo momma so ugly...

... Even Freddy Krueger has nightmares.

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Why do black guys always have nightmares?

Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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I always have nightmares

I found a breed of female horses that's up all night

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Why did Jackie Kennedy go to McDonalds?

Because Jack in the Box gives her nightmares.

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My wife is sleeping with my son, so I'm sleeping with my daughter.

These kids really need to stop having so many nightmares

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Yo mama is so ugly that she gave Freddy Krueger nightmares.

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Why do all black men have nightmares?

The one with a dream was shot.

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Went to the psychiatrist because I was having bad dreams....

I told him I was having awful nightmares and he asked me to describe them.

"Well doc, the last week I dreamt I was a wigwam."

*Interesting, go on.*

"And this past Monday I dreamt I was a tepee."

*Oh, well I think it's quite obvious, you're too tents.*

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The old farmer hates when the horses neigh at night.

The weird noises give him night-mares

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Gordon Ramsay on Kitchen Nightmares is kind of like a prostitute....

A major part of his job involves putting all sorts of awful and nasty things in his mouth!

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I'm an insomniac, and I fucking hate it...

I'm an insomniac, and I fucking hate it... My friends sleep like a log and they love it, but when I try I have nightmares about lumberjacks.

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What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

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A man goes to the doctor...

he tells the doc I keep having re-occurring nightmares. Some nights I'm a tee-pee, some nights I'm a wigwam, tee-pee, wigwam, tee-pee, wigwam...

The Doc said "Oh this is easy you're just two tense." (two tents)

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Why do black people have nightmares?

One had a dream and died

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Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one that had a dream got assassinated

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I have nightmares about the number 666 showing up repeatedly in my life.

Its not related to the mark of the beast. Just the last three girls I've met on Tinder.

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They told me to follow my dreams.

Turns out nightmares are dreams too.

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Why do black people have nightmares? [racist]

We assassinated the only one with a dream.

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Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

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Why do black men only have nightmares?

Because the last black man to have a dream got shot.

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What are the most funny Nightmares jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Nightmares? Well, here are the best Nightmares dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Nightmares pick up lines to share with friends.

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