Nickname Jokes

103 nickname jokes and hilarious nickname puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nickname that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a few good Nickname Jokes? From clever puns to funny nicknames, this article has something for everyone. Read on to learn how to use Watergate, AKA and other terms to create your own personalized jokes and laugh out loud with friends. Don't forget to memorize a few of your favorite jokes and make your fire nickname more memorable.

Funniest Nickname Short Jokes

Short nickname jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nickname humour may include short named jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend was devastated when she found out the reason why my nickname is The Love Machine . It's because I'm terrible at tennis.
  2. I love you honey pie, my wife said earlier. And I love you tons, I replied. What, no nickname for me? She asked.
    Sometimes I swear she's going deaf.
  3. Why is it easy to come up with nicknames for a tree? Because they stick.
    I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.
  4. My nickname is Snapchat.... My nickname is snapchat because I only last 5 seconds and then disappear forever.
  5. (ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname... Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute.
    I just didn't expect it to be so literal though.
  6. My dad I nicknamed my dad net neutrality because he's gone and we don't talk about him anymore.
  7. Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner
  8. My coworkers at my place of work have given me a nickname Mr. Compromise . It wasn't my first choice, but I guess I'm ok with it.
  9. Me and my girlfriend have nicknames for each other; I call her thunder and she calls me lightning. I'm lightning because I always come first
  10. my pregnant wife was feeling sensitive about her enlarged breast due to lactation, so I gave her a cute nickname to cheer her up. Apparently Dairy Queen wasn't the right choice.

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Nickname One Liners

Which nickname one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nickname? I can suggest the ones about surname and noun.

  1. A guy with the nickname E saved my life, so now when I see him I say- -A E I O U
  2. I've just bought a house with period features She hates that nickname.
  3. My ex-wife's nickname is Thanos Cuz she snapped and now half my stuff is gone.
  4. What was Rihanna's nickname for Chris brown? Beats me.
  5. If Bob's my nickname.. Then Robert's my Nicholasname
  6. What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes? Sweet Pee
  7. Frodo is a great nickname for a friend... ...who disappears after he puts a ring on.
  8. My drug dealer is so quick I nicknamed him... Instagram
  9. For someone who's name is amanda Victoria A nickname is Manda Tory
  10. Castro's proctologist had a nickname They called him 'The In Fidel'.
  11. I nicknamed my girlfriend Christmas She only comes once a year.
  12. My great grandfather was a communist... His nickname was "popsickle"
  13. My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise . It wasn't my first choice, but I'm ok with it.
  14. Why do people nickname Cersei's kids after sandwich meats? Because they're both in bread
  15. My nickname at school was glue I don't know why, it just seemed to stick

Nickname joke, My nickname at school was glue

The Funniest Nickname Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about nickname you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean abbreviation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nickname pranks.

"I love you lots snuggles" said my girlfriend

"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat c**...'s going deaf.

My friend is an unemployed circus clown. We nicknamed him Pennywise.

His career is in the gutter.

I've been dating a muslim girl. She gave me a h**... yesterday but it was a bit rough so I've nicknamed her...

...the t**... wrist.

Our baby's new nickname is Assad...

..because he keeps assaulting us with gas that is definitely in violation of the Chemical Weapons Convention.

A black man starts work on a construction site in Liverpool.

The other workers nickname him "w**...".
Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him, "But we all have nicknames. We've got m**... and p**..., they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mack from Scotland".
The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men, "m**..., Mack, p**..., Wac leave the w**... alone!"

I'm seeing a lot of blonde jokes, so here's mine.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were talking about their boyfriends and decided they wanted to give them nicknames.
The brunette says, "I'll name mine 7-Up because he is 7 inches and always up for me."
The redhead says, "I'll name mine Mountain Dew because he always wants to mount and dew me."
The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "I'll name my boyfriend Jack Daniels. He's a hard liquor."

what was adam's nickname for eve?

prime rib

Michael Jordan tried escaping his nickname in Germany...

but they still called him Herr Jordan.

Have you ever nicknamed somebody Penny..

because they didn't make a lot of sense?

What was Mike Tyson's nickname in Prison?

Mr. Tyson

If the shortened nickname for the Buccaneers is the Bucs, the Jaguars are the Jags, and the Patriots are the Pats...

Then what do we call the Titans?

What was Rudolph's nickname?

Names. Because they used to laugh and call him Names.
Credit to my dad.

My nickname in the North Pole is 'comma'

I had s**... with Santa's wife and separated the clauses

What's Tim Cook's new nickname?

Jack The Ripper

If George Washington Carver became a teacher, what would his nickname be?

The Nutty Professor

I've got a friend whose nickname is s**...'.

You might think that's pretty cool.
She doesn't like it.

Dumbo is an unusual nickname for an Elephant

But I guess naming my son Elephant wasn't very conventional either

I've nicknamed my grandad Spiderman.

He doesn't have any superpowers, he just can't climb out of the bath.

My d**... Nickname is Bing

Because noone ever uses it.

My girlfriend gave me the nickname Jack Daniels

Because she says I'm a hard l**...!

Edgar (His nickname is, 'E') was a good man.

One day he gave me 20 bucks. I said, "Aye, E. I owe you."

If the Amazon CEO had a pill addiction, what should his nickname be?

Jeff Benzos

My nickname in bed is monopoly

Because I take two hours to finish

So you don't know the nicknames of WWE Superstars?

What, are you living under a Dwayne Johnson?

Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along..

he can call him missile toe.
Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.

My dads nickname is lightning.

That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.

I was talking to my friend about nicknames...

Like how Maddie is short for Madeline or Alex for Alexander
- But wait, how do you get d**...' from 'Richard?'
You ask nicely

Me and my girlfriend like to give each other dirty nicknames during s**...

I think its really cute how she calls me "wrong hole" all the time.

The other day, I went to look at a house with period features...

My wife hates that nickname.

I love it when girls give me cute nicknames...

Like "help" or "get off me"

My friends started calling me captain obvious

But just so you know I'm not actually a captain, it's just a nickname.

My girlfriend nicknamed me the "Microwave Meal"

Thirty seconds on full power and I'm finished.

My German friend asked me if there were any nicknames for blind people in America...

Apparently, not-see was the wrong answer.

My toddler has now reached the age where she has cute nicknames for me and my wife.

Now we're mama and AUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

My nickname is "Gillette" because I'm the best a man can get.

Also, I will cut you.

My Mexican employee who works on my farm doesn't like the nickname I've given him...

He's my International Harvester.

Life Hack | words coming from experience

Never fight with a white guy who has a black guy's nickname.

If I ever go to jail I want my nickname to be Mitochondria.

Because I'm the powerhouse of this cell!

What's a nickname for Turkish police officers?

The Fez

My friend Richard always says, "you are what you eat"

His nickname checks out.

GF: I'm leaving you!

Me: Is it because I create gf nicknames out of names of kitchen appliances?
GF: No, it's because you're always making fun of my height
Me: You know I love you microbabe!

After being sent to prison, I quickly earned the nickname "Mitochondria."

I was the powerhouse of the cell.

We've never really given an actual nickname to the people out there who pay prostitutes for s**....

I think we should start calling them buysexuals.

My grandpa was part of the cool kid club when he was younger.

Since he was the leader he got a cool nickname: The Grand Wizard

TIL that while little is known about the Tiananmen Square "Tank Man," many eyewitnesses claim that he was actually run over shortly after the famous footage was taken. Indeed, the Mandarin nickname for this folk hero is "The Lobster"...

...because he was a crushed Asian.

Two college kids are laying next to each other after s**....

The guy turns around and says: I have great nickname for you: Eve, since you are my first. Do you mind?
The girls responds: As long as I can call you JumboJet
- Sure thing! Is that because of big I am down there?
- No, you are my 747th.

My ex girlfirend

My ex-girlfriend used to give me nicknames whilst giving me head.
"The Impaler" was my favourite.
Well, at least, that's what I thought she said....
Turns out she's asthmatic and it's my fault she died.

The girlfriend announced...

"I love you lots, snuggles."
"And I love you tons." I replied.
"Oh, I see." She said, in a huff. "You've got no nickname for me, then?"
Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.

A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner

"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"
His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."
The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"

Today there's been another gruesome m**... by the killer that police have nicknamed "The knitting needles killer"

Police fear he may be working to a pattern

they call me JOHNNY TWO GUNS

a nickname I invented as a clever ploy
>!to hide my THIRD GUN!<

My nickname in the adult film industry used to be Tri-Pod..

I was the best camera man they ever had

My wife was really disappointed when she found out why my nickname in college was The Love Machine .

It was because I was terrible at tennis.

I found a hammer behind McDonalds that I use to smash coins with

I nicknamed it Big Mac but it's really more of a Quarter Pounder.

J-Lo's new nickname

Jennifer Lopez is called J-Lo. She dropped the last 3 letters of her last name. She got rid of them. Dispensed with them.
Doesn't that make her a pez dispenser?

What's the seven dwarf's nickname for snow white?

Heigh h**....

A man named his children second, minute and hour, and thus he was nicknamed father time

One day, they was all in their house and a robber burst through the front door and said, 'nobody move!' When recalling the event, second said, it was like time stood still'

My prison nickname was Mitochondria

Because I was the Powerhouse of the cell.

How come vampires are portrayed to be porcelain white even though the original vampire, Vlad Dracula, was quite swarthy?

Must be his nickname.

Have you heard the nickname for the Canadian that won the Slam Dunk competition?

They call him Sir Up now

In the original version of Cinderella, that wasn't her real name, just a nickname she got because she always slept by the fireplace and got covered in cinders.

Really makes you wonder about the person who invented Nutella.

Nickname joke, In the original version of Cinderella, that wasn't her real name, just a nickname she got because sh