Nicke Jokes
70 nicke jokes and hilarious nicke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nicke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Nicke Short Jokes
Short nicke jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nicke humour may include short crisis jokes also.
- Most characters in the Harry Potter series were represented well in their transition from book to movie; But Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.
- For five years my mother tucked me in at night... she really wanted a girl
Credit goes to my friend Nick for telling me this one. Hi Nick! - Nick Cannon one tried gifting Mariah Carey a parcel of land for the holidays but she wasn't happy. She told me, I don't want a lot for Christmas.
- My friend Nick never told me he had a erectile dysfunction. I guess it just never came up.
- My homeboy Nick L. keeps borrowing money from my other homie Deion but I can't keep watching it happen... I'm too old to watch Nick L. owe Deion.
- Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?" Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!" - A joke I made for my fellow Nick's out there : Don't ask me for 5 cents anytime soon...
because I'm Nicholas. - Fleetwood Mac Money has gone missing from fleetwood Mac's dressing room again.
They're starting to suspect Stevie Nicks. - How do you know the guitarist is at the door? He's got the wrong key, doesn't know when to come in.
-Nick Mason - My new nick name didn't work. My friend said if another guy tries to hit on her with a fake name, she'd blow a fuse.
To which I replied, "Hey nice to meet you, I'm A fuse."
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Nicke One Liners
Which nicke one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nicke? I can suggest the ones about economics and nickel.
- The problem with Nearly-Headless Nick is that he is a poorly-executed character
- What happens when Stevie Wonder tries to shave himself? Stevie Nicks.
- The first potato to go to space was carried by the rocket Nick Or, well, Spudnick
- Have you seen that old Nick Cage movie about United Airlines? Con Air.
- Did you hear about the Irishman caught stealing beer? His name was Nick McGuinness .
- Why doesn't Nick Fury have a super-hero name? Because "cyclops" was already taken.
- What do you call a Latino whos car got nicked? Carlos-t
- What do you call a circumcised ghost? Nearly-Headless Nick.
- Digger Nick was not invited back to the dyslexic miners' convention
- When nick Fury got snapped away.. ..He wasn't cursing. He was thinking about his father.
- Nick Cannon is the new face of Radio Shack both of which apparently still excist
- Nick Cave is not on Tinder because he's the Grindr man.
- My friend Nick tried take a pan my friend got from Mexico. It's his pan, Nick.
- Why is St. Nick afraid of going down chimneys? Claustrophobia.
- What do you call it when Santa Claus gets cut shaving his beard? A nick.
Cheerful Fun Nicke Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about nicke you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nicke pranks.
How many Nickelback fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
.... Trick question! There's no such thing as Nickelback fans.
(I will be hated by few)
Nickelback walks into a bar...
Nickelback walks into a bar...there's no punch line because ruining music isn't funny.
If I had a nickel...
If I had a nickel for every economics test I passed, I'd have 7 cents.
If I'd had a nickel for every time I've been financially irresponsible...
I'd probably still be in debt right now.
Why did the nickel jump of the building but the dime did not?
Because the dime had more cents.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a nickel for every time I j****d off...
I'd be a jizzillionaire!
If I had a nickel for every racist thing I've ever said
I'd have a small loan of a million dollars.
If I had a nickel for every time someone tried to get me to buy something...
I'd be able to afford whatever they're selling
If I had a nickel for everytime Brexit happened...
I'd have £2.
If I had a nickel for every time I entered a store with a really long line to just buy some gum...
I'd have enough money to buy some gum
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a nickelback.
I'll let myself out.
If I had a nickel for every time some didn't understand me
I'd make more cents.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a nickel each time I had s**....
I'd have a 12$/hr job!
If I had a nickel for every gender...
I'd have ten cents and a dead meme
If I got a nickel from Apple every time one of my lightning cables broke...
...they'd still be operating out of a garage.
A nickel and a penny decided to tell macabre jokes on their comedy tour...
They called it "Six Cents of Humor"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a nickel for every time my wife ran-off to blow some dude
I'd technically be a p**...
Nickelodeon - Casually ask your daughter who that actress' is...
Then take your laptop to the bathroom.
If i had a nickel for every existential crisis
it wouldn't matter because money is a social construct and existence is meaningless
If I had a nickel for every time I said "If I had a nickel",
I'd have two nickels
If I had a nickel for every time a girl didn't find me attractive...
Girls would find me attractive
If I had a nickel for every watermelon I've chucked at my neighbors window.
I still wouldn't have enough bail money for a vandalism lawsuit.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me....
I'd still be broke and alone.
If I had a nickel for every time I got kicked out of a restaurant...
Maybe I wouldn't have to keep stealing the food
I can't believe how many of Nickelback songs have never become famous
It's completely off the charts.
If I had a nickel every time the Jets lost...
I could afford a ticket to the game!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a nickel for every time someone got on my nerves
I'd have a sock full of nickels to beat them with
(yes, I know, a little dark)
If I had a nickel for every time my wife forgot to unplug her curling iron
I still wouldn't have a house.
Nickelback walks into a bar....
If I had a nickel
If I had a nickel for every time I hit my head, I'd have brain damage.
What's one nickel minus one nickel?
Wait never mind that makes no cents.
if i had a nickel for every time i couldn't do math...
I'd have, like, 9033 cents!
If I had a nickel for every time my ex wife cheated on me
She would have taken that too
If I had a nickel for every time my roommate stole from me
He would have an extra $50.
If I had a nickel for every time my mom dropped me as a baby
We would've had enough for the hospital bill
If I had a nickel for every nickel I have...
Oh wait, I do. Nevermind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a nickel for every gender...
I would have 10 cents and a lot of counterfeits.
A Nickelodeon fan and a Namco enthusiast walk into a bar.
The Nickelodeon fan says to him, "Yo, do you dig Doug?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a nickel for every time I gave someone my two cents...
I'd have 60% g**... margins.
If I had a nickel for every typo I made..
I'd probably have a lot more than 5 sense.
If I had a nickel for everything I forgot
I'm not sure how much I'd have
If i had a nickel for evertime someone said that they were proud of me
I would have 4 nickels
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a nickel for every time Patrick Star said something s**......
>!I have 3 dollars.!<
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me young...
I could buy a lollipop.
Nickelback...
more like give me all my money-back! Am i right guys?
If I had a nickel every time I was called an idiot...
I'd have 4 cents
If I had a nicker for every misspelling on this sub...
I'd still be in a lot less trouble than you for saying that setup out loud.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a racist...
I could quit my job at the NYPD
If I had a nickel for every time I accidentally hit enter instead of a comma
If i had nickel for every time a woman thought i was ugly
They would find me atractive
If I had a nickel for every time I was called hot, I would be the U.S.A
28.7 trillion dollars in debt
If I had a nickel for every time someone said I was bad at math,
I'd have $264.13.
If I had a nickel for every woman that found me attractive…
I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
Nickel & Dime Dining
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied:
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
If I had a nickel for everytime I didn't understand how Brits keep track of money...
I'd have 4 bob, 6 shillings, 2 quid, a crown, a sovereign, and 5 thripince.
