Nice Compliment Jokes
41 nice compliment jokes and hilarious nice compliment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nice compliment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Nice Compliment Short Jokes
Short nice compliment jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nice compliment humour may include short compliment jokes also.
- Somebody actually complimented me on my parking today. They left a note on the windscreen. It said, "Parking fine", so that was nice.
- The wardens at my University were always so nice. They always leave little notes on my car complimenting me, like, "parking fine".
- It's not often people compliment my parking.... but the other day, I came back from work and saw a piece of paper on may car that said "Parking Fine". That was nice of them!
- When is it okay to kick a midget? When he compliments how nice your girlfriends hair smells.
- How many nice guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get annoyed it won't screw
- How many nice guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just compliment it for being a strong, independent bulb until a real man comes along and screws it under their noses.
- A Scottish, fedora-wearing art professor complimented his Scandinavian student. "Nice skies, Finnish lass!"
- Got given a compliment about my parking today. Someone stuck a note to my windscreen that said "Parking Fine".
That's nice of them. - A girl compliments a guy on his new phone. Girl: 'Nice phone!'
Guy: ' Thanks! I won it in a race.'
Girl: ' Who were the participants?'
Guy: ' The owner, the cop and me. ' - Nice mustache! ...oh. I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their moustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore..
Share These Nice Compliment Jokes With Friends
Nice Compliment One Liners
Which nice compliment one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nice compliment? I can suggest the ones about nice and flattered.
- What's the one compliment women hate to receive? "Hey, nice moustache!"
- Compliments are like banana's They are only nice when they're appealing
- Why are Bananas and Chocolate Good friends? They compliment each other nicely.
- I like showing women my big bag of almonds. It's nice when they compliment my n**....
- How did you compliment a r**...? Nice tooth
Nice Compliment Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about nice compliment you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nice guy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nice compliment pranks.
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt.
As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says,
“Your hair smells really nice today.”
She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office.
She says,”I want to file a s**... harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened.
The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?”
Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
A woman was standing n**..., looking herself at the mirror.
She was not satisfied with what she was looking at and said to her husband: "I feel awful. I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need a compliment right now."
Her husband replied: "Your vision is perfectly nice!"
...and then the fight started.
Dwarfs and s**... Harassment
Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, many women would treat that as a compliment, perhaps you could see it that way?" Dawn replies, "well normally I might but Philbert is a dwarf."
I bought a new car recently.
I got it for a great deal. Oscar Mayer w**... was going under so they sold me one of their w**... vans. I was really excited so I drove it around town to show off. I pulled up to a Starbucks because I was thirsty and as I was parking I saw the most beautiful girl in the world. She watched me park and smiled as I walked over to her.
I introduced my self and we just started talking. She looked amazing, I complimented her on her dress. This led to a nice conversation about fashion. I began talking about this vest I recently bought at an estate sale. She seemed really interested and said, "We should set up a date, and maybe I can see you in the vest." I excitedly replied, "That would be amazing!"
Things were looking great until she said, "On one condition. You don't pick me up in the hot dog car." Well this upset me greatly and I wasn't sure how to respond. I thought about it for a moment and then I said, "If you can't handle me in my wurst you don't deserve me in my vest."
People don't usually compliment me on my driving...
But today I saw a note on my car that said "PARKING FINE". That was nice of them.
...
I'll e**... myself out.
My girlfriend says that I've got the body of a guy half my age.
Which would be a nice compliment if I wasn't 22.
How many nice guys does it take to replace a light bulb?
Nice guys don't replace light bulbs: they'll just stand around complimenting it, hoping to get it s**....
I showed up to my girlfriend's house.
She said, "Why, don't you look nice!?"
I said, "Thanks."
"It wasn't a compliment." she added.
A man sees an attractive girl sitting alone
At a restaurant, a man sees an attractive girl sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing," the girl says, and she pops her eye back in place.
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy a drink to make it up to you. May I join you?"
He agrees.
The girls is good at keeping conversation, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common.
He asks her phone number and then he compliments her:
"You are the most charming girl I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No", she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
I've been told that red wine compliments a steak.
But so far my glass hasn't said anything nice at all.
How much nice guys do you need to screw a lightbulb
None because they will just compliment it and then whine about how it doesn't want to screw them
I was trying to compliment some nice bushes during a conversation...
But I couldn't get a word in hedgewise.
An ice cube decided to wear a new hat
A nice man saw this, and said to the ice cube: "Looking solid, dude!"
The ice cube absolutely melted at this sweet compliment.
Now he's looking liquid, dude.
I went to a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter asked, "How was your meal, sir?"
"It was very nice. My compliments to the gardener."
Went to the office without a bra today.
Well, I got a lot of compliments.
- Wow, you look way more natural!
- They look even better without a bra!
- Its nice to see you are your normal self again, James!
Welcome to backhanded compliment club!
It's so nice to meet people who don't care how they look
At my executive chef job a couple called me out to compliment me for cooking their steak thoroughly with no pink inside.
It's always nice to be recognized for a job well done.
I was driving along when I saw these two blokes by the road sticking their thumbs out at me.
I didn't stop to talk, but it's nice to be complimented on my driving.
The best compliment.
Once at a party, the hostess paid me a nice compliment. You are a good-looking guy, she said. Honest! I've had only one shot of v**.... she said, looking at my bemused expression.
My glow was only slightly dimmed when my wife interjected, Imagine how great he'll look after two.
A woman gets out of the shower and looks at herself in the mirror
She walks past her husband reading the newspaper on the couch, and says, "I just looked at myself in the mirror and I look ugly as h**.... How about a nice compliment to cheer me up?"
The husband takes one glance at his wife and replies, "Your eyesight is spot-on."
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today..
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.