Nfl Jokes

121 nfl jokes and hilarious nfl puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about nfl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of NFL jokes. From funny player names to hilarious sideline antics, we've got something for every fan.

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Funniest Nfl Short Jokes

Short nfl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nfl humour may include short american football jokes also.

  1. Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.
  2. The NFL has hired their first female referee. She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.
  3. September was the first calendar month no NFL players were arrested in six years. Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.
  4. Did you hear what happened to that NFL player that murdered several people? He was suspended.
  5. There are now 3 undefeated cat teams in the NFL! The Panthers, the Bengals and the Cheetahs.
  6. There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program. Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.
  7. What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common? Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.
  8. Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL. But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.
  9. Why doesn't the NFL give Iowa a professional football team? Because then Minnesota would want one.
  10. Why is MetLife Stadium the windiest stadium in the NFL? Because there's a Giant fan in every seat.

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Nfl One Liners

Which nfl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nfl? I can suggest the ones about super bowl and dallas cowboys.

  1. Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt
  2. What's the worst part of an NFL wedding? Getting hit by Rice
  3. The only people who get more concussions than NFL players.. are their wives
  4. My gf could be a an NFL running back she will *not* go down.
  5. Why don't NFL players wear glasses? Because it's a contact sport.
  6. Tom Brady has 6 rings... ... and now he can destroy half the NFL with one snap
  7. I have 2 eyes and can't see, but millions of eyes on me. What am I? NFL Referee
  8. What is the Pope's favorite NFL team? The cardinals
  9. How is the NFL like the Police? Everyone gets heated when someone takes a knee.
  10. It took a few years, but... Tebowing is finally taking over the NFL.
  11. Whose the best team in the NFL this year? The injured reserve
  12. If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3 40 The NFL would just say he has an eating disorder
  13. The NFL announced today that Aaron Hernandez Is suspended indefinitely.
  14. Dont want to Catch Covid-19 Dress up as an NFL referee they don't know what a catch is
  15. Which NFL players swear the most? The offensive linemen

Nfl Player Jokes

Here is a list of funny nfl player jokes and even better nfl player puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between an NFL player and football player? When you pat an NFL player on the shoulder, they feel better. But the other gets hospitalized right away.
  • For the 2020 NFL season, the players will no longer be allowed to keep chickens as pets. It will be considered a personal fowl.
  • Did you hear about the NFL player who came back from injury only 25% healed? I think he was a quarter back
  • What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common? It's their knees that go first.
  • Fact: It is against league rules for an NFL player to own a pet duck. It's considered a personal fowl.
  • Who's the nicest player in the NFL? Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.
  • When do NFL players propose to their girlfriends? During the playing of the National Anthem.
  • Why do prison doctors hire paroled NFL players? The pros out weigh the cons
  • 78% of NFL players are broke after 2 years after retirement. 22% of NFL Players are white.
  • Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
    A: The elevator can raise a child.

Nfl Team Jokes

Here is a list of funny nfl team jokes and even better nfl team puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • After the first 2 rounds of the NFL draft, this team's fans didnt think things could possibly get any worse... ...And here's the kicker...
  • Why are there no teams named after a dog in the NFL? They would get beaten by Michael Vick
  • NFL running back Adrian Peterson is officially a free agent. Which is a step in the right direction for him because it means he'll be switching teams instead of his kids.
  • What's a sceintologist's favorite NFL team? The colts
  • Good afternoon to everyone whose NFL team scored at least 1 point yesterday. Not you Cowboy's fans.
  • You know how you check how in shape a NFL team is? You slap their tightends
  • The Patriots are like the "German Engineering" of NFL teams But even the Germans make mistakes
  • Rush Limbaugh wanted to buy an NFL team. His spectacle for him to see black people hit each other while the white quarterback is being protected. Reminds him of the America he loves.
  • Who is Bush's favorite NFL Team? The New York Jets
  • What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL? The Jets.

Nfl Draft Jokes

Here is a list of funny nfl draft jokes and even better nfl draft puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • With the first pick of the 2017 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select... To pass.
  • Why is a NFL Draft better than a vending machine? You get a Quarterback.
  • What do aldi and the nfl draft have in common? They're both places you can get a quarterback
  • How many hugs does it take to make Roger Goodell hard? Just one... The first NFL draft pick
  • NFL No More Spokesman - 1st Round Draft Pick, Winston! So is Winston going to star in next year's NFL No More campaign? I hear he likes speaking out about s**... assault.

Nfl Football Jokes

Here is a list of funny nfl football jokes and even better nfl football puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you watch the football game between the NFL vs. parolees? It definitely had its pros and cons
  • Football Player Jason Verret was ruled out of the 2018 NFL season today... Turns out his Achilles heel, was his Achilles heel!
  • What did the NFL player say to the comedian after hearing a cruel joke about football? That was an offensive line, man.

Good Nfl Jokes

Here is a list of funny good nfl jokes and even better good nfl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I for one am happy that Tony Romo is getting the credit he deserves for his commentary of NFL games He's finally found something he's good at
  • Why would Keemstar make a good NFL cornerback? He's really good at swatting.

Happy Nfl Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about nfl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean team jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nfl pranks.

What do Apple and the NFL have in common?

The Chargers s**....

Offensive NFL joke. Trigger Warning: Terrorism/World Trade Centre/Religious, anybody who is offended do not open this link

I'm really worried about Tim Tebow taking over the QB position. The last time anybody that religious had control of the Jets 9/11 happened

Bill Belichick was in my store earlier and whilst I was serving him he said listen, I need a quarterback. Think you could do that for me son?

I said wow, really?! You want me to play in the NFL?
He said No m**..., this drink costs 75c and I gave you a dollar

What does the NFL and Broke Back Mountain have in common?

Cowboys that s**....

The Washington r**... finally decided to drop their offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL r**..., has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The r**...." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.

A rather old one.

Two NFL coaches were looking a rosters when one of them came across an unusual name.
"Quasimodo? Why does that name ring a bell?"
His friend said, "He was at Notre Dame... a halfback."

Why did Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, say he doesn't shop at Sports Authority?

Because he prefers d**...'s.

Did you hear about the first female NFL referee?

She threw a flag for something that happened last season.

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "About time you got here," the bartender comments. "You missed all the excitement." "What happened?" the guy asks. "We had a NFL referee in here. He had too much to drink and was running around blowing his whistle at everyone. I finally had to warn him about using it inside here and gave him one last chance," the bartender says. "Unfortunately he blew it."

What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?

The Cowboys s**....

What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.

I don't get what this whole NFL anthem controversy is about...

I thought the right-wingers *WANTED* to see black people on their knees.

Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL

and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter.
(Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

Why did Colin Kaepernick take a knee before each NFL game?

He never had the opportunity to kneel during games

Why couldnt the guy hold a conversation with the female transgender marine biologist?

They didn't agree on a lot of things, but a big part of it was he didn't speak whale.
Note: In my defense I don't discriminate except by how I know a person. I have friends on all sides of the NFL hype, s**... rights hype, and abortion debate. But this joke gets laughs among them all.

Just learned NFL has female referee

When she throws a flag and just looks at a player is he supposed to know what he did wrong?
Will she throw a flag next season for something a player did this season?

Coming out of the closet in 2018

Mom.. Dad.... I have to tell you something and you may not like it.... sometimes when I visit the neighbor boy... we lock the door to his room.. and watch the NFL

Bad news for people planning on boycotting tonight's NFL game.

The Tiki Torch company is running an ad promoting their new product line.

watch.. Detroit Lions.. vs.. New York ..Jets ..NFL

What does the NFL, NBA, and the Catholic Church have in common?

They all have a cult following

The Future of Aaron Hernandez.

I personally believe Aaron Hernandez would have been a great Punter in the NFL, I mean look at that wicked hang time...

Le'Veon Bell, Josh Gordon and Tom Brady walk into a bar

To watch the first 4 weeks of the NFL season

What do The Office and the NFL have in common?

The Packers s**....

I wrote a poem about the NFL

It has 32 offensive lines.

If you s**... for money, you go to jail.

Unless you move to dallas, then you become an NFL quarterback.

After what happened, I don't know why anyone in the NFL would want Kareem Hunt as their running back.

I would want him as a kicker.

Monty Python scheduled to sing National Anthem for NFL London game

However, officials pulled the plug at the last minute when it was revealed the comedians would be taking a Ni.

Super Bowl 51 will go down as the Gettysburg Address of the NFL

Four score and 20 minutes to go.....

How is the NFL like Brokeback Mountain?

The Cowboys s**...!

What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Did you hear Chewbaca won the NFL MVP his first year in the league?

Did you hear Chewbaca won the NFL MVP his first year in the league?
It was a great Wookie season!

Roger Goodell believes NFL officials are doing an extraordinary job.

NFL: What do Belicheck and Cutler have in common?

they both totally ignore cornerbacks! hey-o!!

The NFL just got a new official sponsor.


jokes about nfl