nfl Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious nfl puns

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields?

I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.


What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?

The Cowboys suck.

*(I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I don't lack a sense of humor.)*


What do Apple and the NFL have in common?

The Chargers suck.


Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record

Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt


The NFL has hired their first female referee.

She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.


What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice


Offensive NFL joke. Trigger Warning: Terrorism/World Trade Centre/Religious, anybody who is offended do not open this link

I'm really worried about Tim Tebow taking over the QB position. The last time anybody that religious had control of the Jets 9/11 happened


September was the first calendar month no NFL players were arrested in six years.

Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.


Did you hear what happened to that NFL player that murdered several people?

He was suspended.


Breaking News: NFL responds to lost revenue from kneeling controversy

Breaking News: The NFL announced today that because of lost revenue due to kneeling, an NFL Team had to be cut. Tampa Bay and the Green Bay Packers will be combining forming the Tampacks. They will be good for only one period and will have no second string...


More NFL news


The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.

They've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

They will be known as the TAMPACKS.

Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string.


What does the NFL and Broke Back Mountain have in common?

Cowboys that suck.


The Washington Redskins finally decided to drop their offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.


There are now 3 undefeated cat teams in the NFL!

The Panthers, the Bengals and the Cheetahs.


The only people who get more concussions than NFL players..

are their wives


My gf could be a an NFL running back

she will *not* go down.


Why don't NFL players wear glasses?

Because it's a contact sport.


What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.


A rather old one.

Two NFL coaches were looking a rosters when one of them came across an unusual name.

"Quasimodo? Why does that name ring a bell?"

His friend said, "He was at Notre Dame... a halfback."


I have 2 eyes and can't see, but millions of eyes on me. What am I?

NFL Referee


Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL.

But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.


Why did Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, say he doesn't shop at Sports Authority?

Because he prefers Dick's.


What do the NFL and Brokeback Mountain have in common?

The cowboys suck.


Why is MetLife Stadium the windiest stadium in the NFL?

Because there's a Giant fan in every seat.


Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL

and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter.

(Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)


It took a few years, but...

Tebowing is finally taking over the NFL.


What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.


I don't get what this whole NFL anthem controversy is about...

I thought the right-wingers *WANTED* to see black people on their knees.


Whose the best team in the NFL this year?

The injured reserve


What's the difference between an NFL player and football player?

When you pat an NFL player on the shoulder, they feel better. But the other gets hospitalized right away.


A black guy dies & finds himself at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter....

SP: Before I allow you to enter Heaven, you must tell me something truly extraordinary about your life.

BG: Sheeet, no problem. I was a star NFL QB for 15 years!

SP: One of many. What else?

BG: I have 2 Super Bowl rings & 3 MVP trophys!

SP: These things do not impress me. Uniqueness!

BG: Damn....uh....well, I once made love to a white woman on a park bench during a Ku Klux Klan rally.

SP: WOW! Really? Now THAT is extraordinary! When did this happen?

BG: About 15 minutes ago.


The NFL announced today that Aaron Hernandez

Is suspended indefinitely.


What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit


The New England Patriots are being investigated by the NFL for using deflated balls in yesterday's playoff game

... as it turns out, Tom Brady's balls are just naturally smaller and saggier than average


Did you hear about the NFL player who came back from injury only 25% healed?

I think he was a quarter back


What are the most funny Nfl jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Nfl? Well, here are the best Nfl dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Nfl pick up lines to share with friends.

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