The Best 67 Nfl Jokes

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of NFL jokes. From funny player names to hilarious sideline antics, we've got something for every fan.

Top 10 Funniest Nfl Jokes and Puns

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields?

I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.

What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?

The Cowboys suck.

*(I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I don't lack a sense of humor.)*

What do Apple and the NFL have in common?

The Chargers suck.

Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record

Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt

jokes about nfl

The NFL has hired their first female referee.

She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice

Offensive NFL joke. Trigger Warning: Terrorism/World Trade Centre/Religious, anybody who is offended do not open this link

I'm really worried about Tim Tebow taking over the QB position. The last time anybody that religious had control of the Jets 9/11 happened

Bill Belichick was in my store earlier and whilst I was serving him he said listen, I need a quarterback. Think you could do that for me son?

I said wow, really?! You want me to play in the NFL?

He said No moron, this drink costs 75c and I gave you a dollar

September was the first calendar month no NFL players were arrested in six years.

Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.

Did you hear what happened to that NFL player that murdered several people?

He was suspended.

What does the NFL and Broke Back Mountain have in common?

Cowboys that suck.

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The Washington Redskins finally decided to drop their offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.

There are now 3 undefeated cat teams in the NFL!

The Panthers, the Bengals and the Cheetahs.

The only people who get more concussions than NFL players..

are their wives

My gf could be a an NFL running back

she will *not* go down.

Why don't NFL players wear glasses?

Because it's a contact sport.

There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program.

Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.

A rather old one.

Two NFL coaches were looking a rosters when one of them came across an unusual name.

"Quasimodo? Why does that name ring a bell?"

His friend said, "He was at Notre Dame... a halfback."

What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

Tom Brady has 6 rings...

... and now he can destroy half the NFL with one snap

I have 2 eyes and can't see, but millions of eyes on me. What am I?

NFL Referee

Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL.

But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.

Why is MetLife Stadium the windiest stadium in the NFL?

Because there's a Giant fan in every seat.

Why did Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, say he doesn't shop at Sports Authority?

Because he prefers Dick's.

Why doesn't the NFL give Iowa a professional football team?

Because then Minnesota would want one.

What is the Pope's favorite NFL team?

The cardinals

Did you hear about the first female NFL referee?

She threw a flag for something that happened last season.

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "About time you got here," the bartender comments. "You missed all the excitement." "What happened?" the guy asks. "We had a NFL referee in here. He had too much to drink and was running around blowing his whistle at everyone. I finally had to warn him about using it inside here and gave him one last chance," the bartender says. "Unfortunately he blew it."

After the first 2 rounds of the NFL draft, this team's fans didnt think things could possibly get any worse...

...And here's the kicker...

What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.

How is the NFL like the Police?

Everyone gets heated when someone takes a knee.

I don't get what this whole NFL anthem controversy is about...

I thought the right-wingers *WANTED* to see black people on their knees.

It took a few years, but...

Tebowing is finally taking over the NFL.

Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL

and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter.

(Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)

Whose the best team in the NFL this year?

The injured reserve

Did you watch the football game between the NFL vs. parolees?

It definitely had its pros and cons

What's the difference between an NFL player and football player?

When you pat an NFL player on the shoulder, they feel better. But the other gets hospitalized right away.

If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3 40

The NFL would just say he has an eating disorder

For the 2020 NFL season, the players will no longer be allowed to keep chickens as pets.

It will be considered a personal fowl.

The NFL announced today that Aaron Hernandez

Is suspended indefinitely.

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

Dont want to Catch Covid-19

Dress up as an NFL referee they don't know what a catch is

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

Did you hear about the NFL player who came back from injury only 25% healed?

I think he was a quarter back

Why did Colin Kaepernick take a knee before each NFL game?

He never had the opportunity to kneel during games

Why couldnt the guy hold a conversation with the female transgender marine biologist?

They didn't agree on a lot of things, but a big part of it was he didn't speak whale.

Note: In my defense I don't discriminate except by how I know a person. I have friends on all sides of the NFL hype, sexual rights hype, and abortion debate. But this joke gets laughs among them all.

Just learned NFL has female referee

When she throws a flag and just looks at a player is he supposed to know what he did wrong?

Will she throw a flag next season for something a player did this season?

Coming out of the closet in 2018

Mom.. Dad.... I have to tell you something and you may not like it.... sometimes when I visit the neighbor boy... we lock the door to his room.. and watch the NFL

Bad news for people planning on boycotting tonight's NFL game.

The Tiki Torch company is running an ad promoting their new product line.

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

watch.. Detroit Lions.. vs.. New York ..Jets ..NFL

What does the NFL, NBA, and the Catholic Church have in common?

They all have a cult following

Why are there no teams named after a dog in the NFL?

They would get beaten by Michael Vick

Fact: It is against league rules for an NFL player to own a pet duck.

It's considered a personal fowl.

The Future of Aaron Hernandez.

I personally believe Aaron Hernandez would have been a great Punter in the NFL, I mean look at that wicked hang time...

Le'Veon Bell, Josh Gordon and Tom Brady walk into a bar

To watch the first 4 weeks of the NFL season

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

When do NFL players propose to their girlfriends?

During the playing of the National Anthem.

What do The Office and the NFL have in common?

The Packers suck.

With the first pick of the 2017 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select...

To pass.

I wrote a poem about the NFL

It has 32 offensive lines.

If you suck for money, you go to jail.

Unless you move to dallas, then you become an NFL quarterback.

After what happened, I don't know why anyone in the NFL would want Kareem Hunt as their running back.

I would want him as a kicker.

Monty Python scheduled to sing National Anthem for NFL London game

However, officials pulled the plug at the last minute when it was revealed the comedians would be taking a Ni.

NFL running back Adrian Peterson is officially a free agent.

Which is a step in the right direction for him because it means he'll be switching teams instead of his kids.

Super Bowl 51 will go down as the Gettysburg Address of the NFL

Four score and 20 minutes to go.....

Why do prison doctors hire paroled NFL players?

The pros out weigh the cons

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the nfl steelers puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

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