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Neymar Jokes

49 neymar jokes and hilarious neymar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about neymar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This hilarious article looks at the lighter side of Neymar Jr's football career. Read through Neymar jokes, some of them featuring Luis Suarez, the Colts, and even Messi. Get ready to chuckle over these funny anecdotes!

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Funniest Neymar Short Jokes

Short neymar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The neymar humour may include short rugby jokes also.

  1. Neymar was found at a Celine Dion concert, screaming from pain and rolling around. He was touched by the music.
  2. Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.
  3. Now that Neymar's out of the World cup, he's heading to Thailand. To rescue those kids, no better diver in the world.
  4. Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave ...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive
  5. Neymar is going to participate in the 2020 Olympics He's Brazil's next star in the Diving competition.
  6. We should send Neymar to the cave and save the children Because he is one of the best divers
  7. Why did Neymar make a quick exit at the world cup in Russia? He heard divers were needed in Thailand
  8. Neymar. Either he is going to score a Goal today or score an Oscar today.
    One thing for sure.!
  9. My favourite athlete is now Neymar He united my to favourite things: football and laying down
  10. Brazil have started playing 'Rock & Roll football' They play with a rock solid defence, midfield and attack, and have Neymar rolling around on the ground.

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Neymar One Liners

Which neymar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with neymar? I can suggest the ones about rescue and goalkeeper.

  1. I don't care what anyone says about Neymar faking hurt he's still my roll model!
  2. How does Neymar laugh? ROFL
  3. If you have a crush on Neymar, just ask him out. He'll fall for you easily.
  4. What is Neymar's favorite drill to practice? The fire drill
  5. Now Neymar can go home and work at Walmart... Help them roll back their prices!
  6. New sequel to Bend It Like Beckham announced. It's called Fake It Like Neymar
  7. What's Neymar favorite song? Never Gonna Give You Up de 1987 de Rick Astley (RickRoll)
  8. How do you say dive in Portuguese? Neymar
  9. What drink does Neymar celebrate with? Sham pain
  10. What's Neymar's favorite hobby? Recreational diving.
  11. Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel? Neymar
  12. What does Neymar say before a football match? Lets roll!
  13. If you catch fire Drop and act like Neymar Jr.
  14. Know the new movie Neymar is starring in? Dive Hard
  15. Someone needs to send Neymar to Thailand.
Neymar joke, Someone needs to send Neymar to Thailand.

Cheerful Fun Neymar Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about neymar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean score jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make neymar pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Neymar, the Brazilian football player, had his first parenting lesson with his new son this morning.

"Right," said the midwife, "what should you do if he starts crying and having a tantrum?"
"Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the f*****g floor," replied the baby....

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's the difference between Neymar and a Dolphin?

When a dolphin dives he's fishing for a carp for food on a reef ...
When Neymar dives he's fishing for a card from a fool of a ref

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Brazil is getting slaughtered

I can't take it an Neymar

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why can't you burn Neymar with jokes?

Because he knows how to stop, drop, and roll.

What's worth $300 million and breaks down when you touch it?

A Neymar
~~Edit coz formatting~~

What happened to Neymar? He wasn't playing his game.

He was actually standing up.

I'm convinced neymar used to be a fireman..

Because he sure can stop drop and roll

What is the difference between Neymar and Leonardo Di Caprio ?

Leonardo Di Caprio has won an oscar.

What is the Acronym for "Rolling on the floor crying"?

NEYMAR

Those kids in that Thai cave would be out by now...

If the Thai navy had Neymar doing their diving

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

There is only one person who goes down easier than your mom...

Neymar.

Neymar is the Justin Bieber of Football

Talented, good-looking and an absolute diva

Neymar joke, Neymar is the Justin Bieber of Football

jokes about neymar