Neymar Jokes

51 neymar jokes and hilarious neymar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about neymar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This hilarious article looks at the lighter side of Neymar Jr's football career. Read through Neymar jokes, some of them featuring Luis Suarez, the Colts, and even Messi. Get ready to chuckle over these funny anecdotes!

Funniest Neymar Short Jokes

Short neymar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The neymar humour may include short rugby jokes also.

  1. Neymar was found at a Celine Dion concert, screaming from pain and rolling around. He was touched by the music.
  2. I feel sorry for Neymar's ancestors after today's loss They must be rolling in their graves.
    Not mine but felt it had to be shared.
  3. Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.
  4. Now that Neymar's out of the World cup, he's heading to Thailand. To rescue those kids, no better diver in the world.
  5. What's the difference between Neymar and a Dolphin? When a dolphin dives he's fishing for a carp for food on a reef ...
    When Neymar dives he's fishing for a card from a fool of a ref
  6. Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave ...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive
  7. Neymar is going to participate in the 2020 Olympics He's Brazil's next star in the Diving competition.
  8. We should send Neymar to the cave and save the children Because he is one of the best divers
  9. The boys trapped in a cave in Thailand need to become diving experts to escape Sounds like a job for Neymar
  10. Why did Neymar make a quick exit at the world cup in Russia? He heard divers were needed in Thailand

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Neymar One Liners

Which neymar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with neymar? I can suggest the ones about rescue and goalkeeper.

  1. I don't care what anyone says about Neymar faking hurt he's still my roll model!
  2. How does Neymar laugh? ROFL
  3. If you have a crush on Neymar, just ask him out. He'll fall for you easily.
  4. What is Neymar's favorite drill to practice? The fire drill
  5. Now Neymar can go home and work at Walmart... Help them roll back their prices!
  6. New sequel to Bend It Like Beckham announced. It's called Fake It Like Neymar
  7. What's Neymar favorite song? Never Gonna Give You Up de 1987 de Rick Astley (RickRoll)
  8. How do you say dive in Portuguese? Neymar
  9. What drink does Neymar celebrate with? Sham pain
  10. What's Neymar's favorite hobby? Recreational diving.
  11. Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel? Neymar
  12. Brazil is getting slaughtered I can't take it an Neymar
  13. Why can't you burn Neymar with jokes? Because he knows how to stop, drop, and roll.
  14. What does Neymar say before a football match? Lets roll!
  15. If you catch fire Drop and act like Neymar Jr.

Neymar Jr Jokes

Here is a list of funny neymar jr jokes and even better neymar jr puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Thai soccer team and their coach gets stuck in underground cave for 15 days... ...still better divers than Neymar JR.
Neymar joke, Thai soccer team and their coach gets stuck in underground cave for 15 days...

Cheerful Fun Neymar Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about neymar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean score jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make neymar pranks.

Neymar, the Brazilian football player, had his first parenting lesson with his new son this morning.

"Right," said the midwife, "what should you do if he starts crying and having a tantrum?"
"Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the f*****g floor," replied the baby....

Neymar is meeting up with the Thailand football team who were trapped in a cave...

He's going to teach them how to dive


Either he is going to score a Goal today or score an Oscar today.
One thing for sure.!

My favourite athlete is now Neymar

He united my to favourite things: football and laying down

Brazil have started playing 'Rock & Roll football'

They play with a rock solid defence, midfield and attack, and have Neymar rolling around on the ground.

Apparently Neymar is heading to Thailand to help with rescuing the kids from the cave

They need the world's greatest diving expert

What's worth $300 million and breaks down when you touch it?

A Neymar
~~Edit coz formatting~~

Know the new movie Neymar is starring in?

Dive Hard

What did Neymar say to his teammates in the locker room before the match?

Alright boys, LET'S ROLL!

Someone needs to send Neymar to Thailand.

The best diver has been sent to Thailand to rescue the boys trapped in the cave

Neymar has left the World Cup and on his way there

What happened to Neymar? He wasn't playing his game.

He was actually standing up.

I'm convinced neymar used to be a fireman..

Because he sure can stop drop and roll

Neymar joke, I'm convinced neymar used to be a fireman..

jokes about neymar