Newscasters Jokes
10 newscasters jokes and hilarious newscasters puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about newscasters that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Newscasters Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good newscasters joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.
A woman is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.
The woman starts crying to her husband, sobbing That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!
Confused, he says, Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.
After a few minutes, the woman, still sobbing, asks, How many is a Brazilian?
An older woman is watching the news
When a newscaster cuts in.
"Breaking news! We have reports of a car going the wrong way through heavy traffic on I-85."
The woman knows her husband is travelling, so she calls him up.
"Honey, some idiot's driving the wrong way on I-85. Be careful, please!"
Her husband practically yells back into the phone, "Thanks sweetie, but it's not just one; there's hundreds of them!"
Nothing is funnier than watching newscasters try to avoid saying sh*t hole
By saying as*hole
The Reporter of Puns!
There was once a reporter known for his unique puns. Every day for his newscast, he would share the news with a nice pun at the end. One day he recieved a story of ten people killed in a shooting. He delivered the story and at the end stated that there was no pun in ten dead.
Doc Brown and Marty are watching the news
The newscaster announces "Due to a large string of worker protests in the United States the price of cheese has gone up 200%"
Doc Brown: "Grate, Scott!"
What do you get for breaking news?
Newscasts
I keep waiting for a newscaster to announce
25 people were killed today by an IUD.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a commentator.
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!" Confused, he replies, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
So a man and a blonde are sitting in a bar and watching the news at 6pm
The newscast shows a man standing on a bridge threatening to jump. The man says to the blonde, "I bet you five dollars he's gonna jump.". The blonde replies, "You're on."
The man on the bridge then jumps and is killed on impact.
The blonde pulls five dollars out of her wallet to give to the man.
But he says, "I can't take your money. I saw this on the 4 o'clock news."
She says, "I did too. I just didn't think he would jump again.
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