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News Item Jokes

3 news item jokes and hilarious news item puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about news item that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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News Item Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good news item joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

My wife is kind of lazy

We were watching an item on the news yesterday, about a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic who could play the (specially adapted) flute beautifully.
"Oh my god." She said, tears welling in her eyes, "I'd love to be able to do that."
"What, play the flute?" I asked.
"No, sit down all day."

A man walks into a rough pub near Glasgow docks...

..."here, lads, there's been a big department store fire in town, loads of stock's been written off, I can sort you out with a few things, if you'd like, what're you after?"
After doing the rounds and taking orders for various items of clothing, and even a few bigger items, someone up the back of the pub pipes up, "here, I didn't see anything about a big fire on the news, when was it?"
"Tomorrow".

My cashier wife broke the news to me today that she was pregnant;

She told me that there was an "unexpected item in the b**... area."

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