Newfoundlands Jokes
26 newfoundlands jokes and hilarious newfoundlands puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about newfoundlands that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Newfoundlands Short Jokes
Short newfoundlands jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The newfoundlands humour may include short jokes also.
- Did you hear about the new Silence of the Lambs sequel that's set to take place in Newfoundland? It's going to be called Ewes Be Quiet.
- Hear about that helicopter that crashed into a Newfoundland cemetery? So far they've recovered over 80 bodies.
- Cessna 172 crashes into Newfoundland cemetery. Rescuers have recovered hundreds of dead so far.
- Yesterday, a plane crashed in a cemetary in Newfoundland There is already 823 deads, but the number will grow as Newfies keep digging.
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Newfoundlands One Liners
Which newfoundlands one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with newfoundlands? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What is james bond called in Newfoundland? 007:30
- What does the Newfoundland fisherman do on a day off? Net fix and chill
- What drink do they serve at the Newfoundland seal hunt? Canadian Club
- What do you call a dog cartographer? Newfoundland
- How can you tell if a Newfoundlander is gay? He eyes the b'ys.
Newfoundlands Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about newfoundlands you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make newfoundlands pranks.
Tragedy in Eastern Canada
Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.
Air tragedy in Newfoundland...
A two-seater single engine Cessna 152 crashed in foggy conditions near the Gander airport, crashing into the nearby cemetery.
Newfie rescue squads have recovered 385 bodies so far, and that number is expected to climb as digging continues.
A man from quebec and a man from Newfoundland meet in a bar....
A man from Quebec and a man from Newfoundland meet in a bar, one of them finds a lamp, he rubs it and a genie comes out, he grants the two with one wish each.
the guy from Quebec says "i want a big, 40 foot wall arround the entire province"
the genie claps his fingers and says "here, done"
the one from Newfoundland aks "is your wall waterproof?"
"uhh yeah?" responded the guy from quebec
"fill her up"
I tried to translate a joke from Canadian
Did you hear about the war between Nova Scotia and Newfoundland?. ? The newfies were throwing grenades the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back
Canada's worst air disaster occurred earlier this morning when a Cessna 152 (a small two-seater plane) crashed into a cemetery in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 825 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
A man gets pulled over in Newfoundland
The cop looks at his licence, looks at the man, looks at the licence again and looks at the man once more.
Cop - sir, you need to be wearing glasses!
Man - I have contacts.
Cop - sir, I don't care who you know, you need to be wearing glasses!
My 91 year old Canadian Grandmother just told me this joke.
Two Newfoundlanders were driving to Toronto.
They passed a sign that said: Toronto LEFT.
Distraught, they turned around and drove back home.
A man goes to the doctor and tells the doctor
"Please doc you have to help me. Everywhere I touch my self it hurts. If I touch my leg, ow that hurts, if I touch my arm, ow that hurts. If I touch my head ow that hurts.
Doctor looks him over and asks him " Sir where are you from?"
The guys says "I from Newfoundland"
The Doctor says "Son your fingers broken!"
That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.
This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
The Execution
A Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander are involved in a grisly crime and are all sentenced to death. The executioner told them that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.
Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.
The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair.
He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free.
They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.
The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair.
Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free.
Next it was the Newfoundlander's turn to pick how he was to be executed.
He said "I'm afraid of needles, the electric chair won't work so you're going to have to hang me".
4 months ago a group of scientists from England...
...discovered copper wire in a dig 50 meters below the ground and concluded that their must have been wired technology 500 years ago in that area. 2 months later a group of scientists from Australia dug 100 meters into the ground and found copper wire and concluded that there must have been wired technology 1000 years ago in that area. Last month a group of scientists from Newfoundland dug 200 meters into the ground and found nothing....baffled by the discovery they concluded that there must have been wireless technology 2000 years ago in that area!
The US Navy
Transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."
Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."
Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."