Newcomer Jokes
7 newcomer jokes and hilarious newcomer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about newcomer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Witty Newcomer Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What is a good newcomer joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Glue-sniffing drug addicts
A group of experienced glue-sniffers was teaching a newcomer to sniff glue.
But instead of sniffing the glue, the glue sniffer poured it into his mouth, and had to go to the hospital emergency room.
"Hey," reminded one of the glue-sniffers. "Don't expose our glue-sniffing group."
"Don't worry," replied another. "His lips are sealed."
I told my 13 year old son about m**... today...
He's a newcomer!
I met a 13 year old boy today....
He's a Newcomer!
When someone is invited to have a t**... with a couple
They are a newcomer.
Man goes into a bar...
A very thirsty man goes into a bar.
As he waits to get the bartender's attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, "I'll have another waterloo."
The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the man next to him and says, "I guess I'll have what he's having, a waterloo."
So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"
The regular bar patron sitting next to him says, "It is water. That's all I drink," He turns to the bartender and says, "Right Lou?"
Man gets asked how he got his offset eye
The newcomer asks the man, "Though this may be inappropriate to ask, what happened to your eye?"
The man smiles and responds, "Truth is, I was born without an eyelid."
The newcomer's eyes open wide.
"Yeah, strangest thing. No eyelid on one eye. Doc said he'd never seen anything like it. He told my parents it was a long shot, but there was one thing he could try."
The newcomer leans in to hear this.
"What they did is, when they circumcised me, they took the extra skin and made an eyelid out of it."
The newcomer's jaw drops.
"Yeah, I've been cockeyed ever since!"
Joke teller goes to prison.
Guy goes to prison and is sitting at lunch when he hears "19" and everyone starts laughing. Then he hears "38" and everyone starts laughing again.
Later in his cell he asks his cellmate what is going on. "Well," his cellmate answers, "we have been here so long, we already know all the jokes. So instead of telling the whole thing, we numbered them and just yell out the number."
So the next day, the newcomer yells out "23." Nothing happens. So he yells out "85." Still nothing.
Later in his cell he asks his cellmate why nobody laughed. "Well," his cellmate answers, "that's the thing about jokes. Some people know how to tell them, and some people don't."
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