Newbie Jokes
6 newbie jokes and hilarious newbie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about newbie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Unearthly Funniest Newbie Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What is a good newbie joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A newbie at work asked me if I knew where the coloured printer was.
I said "It's 2016, Jamal, you can use any printer you want"
So a man gets a job working as a highway stripe painter
The foreman gives the guy a paint brush and a fat bucket of paint and tells the dood where to paint and off the guy goes.
End of the first day the newbie comes back and tells the foreman he did 10 miles. "Outstanding!" The foreman says.
Second day newbie comes back to the shop at the end of the day and tells the foreman he's done 4 miles. 'Not impressive.' The foreman thinks.
End of the third day the newbie tells his foreman he did one mile. The foreman has to ask, "The first day you did 10 miles, the second day you did 4, and today you only accomplished one measly mile? What gives?"
"Well," The newbie says, "Every day the paint can gets farther and farther away.
Archery
When asked what they are aiming for,
A newbie will say precision,
A pro will say grouping,
And dads will say "the target."
I was playing an online game when I saw 4 players teaming against a newbie so I came to help
He didn't stand a chance against 5 of us
The Smart Navigator
The scene is sometime in the old era when cockpits had round dials plus flight engineers and navigators.
The crusty old-timer Captain is breaking in a brand new navigator.
The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38 and rests it on the glare panel.
He asks the navigator, "Know what this is for?"
"No, sir," replies the newbie.
"I use it on navigators that get us lost," explains the captain, winking at his Co-Pilot.
The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls out a .45 and sets it on his chart table.
What's THAT for?" queries the surprised captain.
Well, sir," replies the navigator, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
The Vietnam newbie was told they didn't have any more M-16's...
and he should just point his finger and yell "BANGITY! BANGITY! BANG!"
He's out on patrol, he sees enemy soldiers and points his finger.
"BANGITY! BANGITY! BANG!"
Much to his amazement, the enemy soldiers fall to the ground dead. He continues on his way, killing more and more VC.
But then he sees an enemy soldier steadfastly walking towards him, and the "BANGITY! BANGITY! BANG!" doesn't work. He tries again, "BANGITY! BANGITY! BANG!" but the VC just keeps coming. The VC blunders into him, knocks our hero down, steps on his stomach and face as he proceeds into the distance, saying "TANKETY TANKETY TANK!"
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