New Priest Jokes

Following is our collection of priests puns and rabbi one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including New Priest jokes for adults, dirty blasphemy jokes and clean penance dad gags for kids.

The Best New Priest Puns

A new priest is about to give his first sermon...

and he's really nervous about it, so he goes and asks the older priest if he can help.

"Well I'll tell you what," says the older priest, "I'll switch out the wine for a martini so you can calm your nerves before you start talking."

"Thanks Father!" says the new priest.

After the mass is over, the new priest walks over to the older priest and asks how he did.

"Well... you did a good job for the most part, except for a few things...
-Don't refer to Jesus and his followers as 'The late JC and the boys',
-Don't call the virgin Mary 'Mary the Cherry',
-The Holy Trinity is not 'Big Daddy, Junior, and The Spook',
-There's a taffy-pulling contest and St. Peter's, not a Peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's,
-And the drive-through confessional is a good idea, but the sign 'toot and tell or go to hell' has to go."

Code Word

An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit! "Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen. "From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen. "This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93. Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen! "The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest. But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -"I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week! "

A new priest....

was extremely nervous about his first sermon in front of the Bishop. An older priest gave him this advice: "take a little of the communion wine. It will relax you."

The young priest, not sure how much he might need, drank until he started to feel relaxed. He got through the service and felt pretty good about his first sermon until he was called into the Bishop's office for a talk.

"First, young man, there are ten commandments, not ten suggestions....

Secondly, we don't refer to the Virgin Mary as 'that prissy woman who married Joseph'...

And finally, it's The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit...

Not 'Big Daddy, JC and The Spook'!"

There is an abundance of atone jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 3 funniest jokes and new priest puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any preist witze you can hear about new priest.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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