New Mexican Jokes
45 new mexican jokes and hilarious new mexican puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about new mexican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest New Mexican Short Jokes
Short new mexican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The new mexican humour may include short new mexico jokes also.
- What do you call a Mexican melon? A cantelopez!
Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability. - What happened to the old mexican when he moved from Houston to Santa Fe? He became a New Mexican
- What do you call a Japanese guy with a rubber toe? Mr. Roboto.
This is my new addition to the Mexican -Roberto original version of this joke. - Have you tried Fozzie Bear's new Mexican restaurant? The Waka Waka Wakamole is delicious.
- OK I made a new one! How do Mexicans warm their houses in the winter months?
Central Fajiting.
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New Mexican One Liners
Which new mexican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with new mexican? I can suggest the ones about mean mexican and mexican american.
- What kind of tooth brush does a Mexican New Yorker use? Orale-B
- There are 2 Mexicans in the new Star Wars... The pilot Poe, and Chuy
- Have you all heard of that New Mexican Soul food restaurant? It's called "Nacho Mommas"!
- What did the Mexican say when he arrived at a new housing tract? What's goin' on, homes?
- Harper Lee's new novel is a Mexican spinoff of her classic... Tequila Mockingbird
- Did you hear about the Mexican Army's new weapons? Everyone was issued a nail gun.
- New band. I'm starting a new band with 5 homosexual Mexicans.
Juan Direction. - New Mexican word for today: Brief Today, my homie f**... so hard, I could barely brief
- A new restaurant that doesn't offer food to i**... immigrants. Tacos for Mexicans too
- I'm switching to a new Mexican restaurant. These Tac-h**... ain't loyal.
- What's a new i**... substance in America? Mexicans.
- What made the New Mexican sad? He was out of m**....
- The new KFC Cajun Boxmaster... ... Sounds like a Mexican p**...
Cheeky New Mexican Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about new mexican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mexican nacho jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make new mexican pranks.
Ban?????
"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
Mary and Sue are discussing good-looking boys in their high school.
Mary asks "Have you seen that new Mexican kid Amal Garcia?"
"Garcia?" Sue responds. "No, but I think I've seen his brother Juan"
Mary replies "They're identical twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the New Mexican woman who stuck a banana up her nose?
Yeah, you've got to admit it, Alba's quirky.
The Titanic
So, not many people know, back in the 1900's mayonnaise was only made in Europe. The titanic carried 1200 cases scheduled for delivery in the port of Vera Cruz as her next dock after her stop in New York. What would have been the first largest shipment sadly went down with the ship. The Mexicans were so upset over the loss they still celebrate a day of mourning which we know now as sinko de mayo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A r**... looks at a Mexican right in the eye and says, "how does it feel to marry my ex wife and have my sloppy seconds?"
"not bad," replies Juan,"after 2.5 inches deep she felt brand new"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the new sci-fi show coming to Netflix?
It's basically Mexicans in space. It's called *Altered Cabrón*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England.
In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.
But we all know the tragedy that occurred..
The Mexican people loved mayonnaise so much and this loss was so devastating that they declared a national day of mourning, which happens every year on the day the shipment was supposed to arrive.
This day, of course, is May 5th, or more commonly known as **Sinko de Mayo**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, a Mexican, and a c**...
A German, a Mexican, and a c**... all come to the U.S. together eager to live the American dream. Ready to work, they go around knocking on doors asking if anyone needs help. An old man answers the door and informs them that he needs a new barn built. The three agree to do it and follow the old man behind the house.
The old man explains what he wants and leaves them to it telling them that they'll find tools in the old barn.
The German takes charge and says, "I'll design it and supervise the job." Points to the Mexican and says, "You'll do the labor and dig the foundation," and points to the c**... and says, "You'll be in charge of the supplies."
Immediately the c**... takes off. After a little while the German completes the design and the Mexican gets right to work. A little while later the foundation has been excavated and the German and the Mexican look at each other wondering where the c**... is with the supplies. About half an hour later, the Mexican climbs out of the hole and joins the German in the search for the c**....
They are look around the old barn and as they're about to round the corner, the c**... jumps out with a smile on his face and his hands flailing in the air and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
Most people don't know that back in 1912...
Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.
Mexicans were crazy about the stuff.
The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate ("desperados") at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning.
It's known, of course, as... Sinko De Mayo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An ethnically diverse group of people are doing something…
An African-American, a Mexican-American, Jewish-American, and a white man are walking along the beach in Florida. One of them stumbles over a lamp and as he picks it up, a genie appears. The genie thanks them from freeing him from the lamp and offers them each a wish. The African-American says, "My native land has suffered from all the people stolen away by slavery. I wish for all my people to be returned to Africa to start a new age of African success." As he finishes speaking, p**..., he is gone. The Mexican-American is inspired and says, "My native land has suffered from all the people run out by the cartels and corruption. I wish for all my people to be returned to Mexico to start a new age of Mexican success." As he finishes speaking, p**..., he is gone. The Jewish-American feels the same way and says, "My native land has had my people chased out for thousands of years. I wish for all my people to be returned to Israel to start a new age of Israeli success." As he finishes speaking, p**..., he is gone. The white guy is clearly taken aback with all that has happened. He says, "Let me get this straight, all the black, mexicans, and jews are gone? Lemme get a diet coke."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
That holocaust joke reminded me of this one I heard about 2 Mexican dudes.
2 Mexican guys move to America from Mexico. They decide to each go their own way and try to adapt to the culture of their new home. A year later they bump into each other.
Mexican guy 1: Hey man! Long time no see! How have you been adapting? I got really into NASCAR, I got this American flag tattoo, and I even started my own business! I'm living the American dream! What about you?
Mexican guy 2: Go back to Mexico, s**...!!
A husband and wife give birth to twins...
...but realized that they simply don't have the money to support a family. They put the twins up for adoption without so much as giving them names, after deciding it was for the best. Soon, one twin is adopted by a Mexican family, and his new family names him Juan. Shortly after, the other twin is adopted by an Egyptian family. His family names him Jamal. Years pass, and one day the couple receives a picture in the mail of Juan.
"Look, honey!", said the wife, "They sent us a picture of Juan! I just wish we could get a picture from Jamal..."
The husband replied, "You don't need one."
"Why?" She asked him.
"Because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.
He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!"
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.
Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about… I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
