New Indian Jokes
48 new indian jokes and hilarious new indian puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about new indian that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest New Indian Short Jokes
Short new indian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The new indian humour may include short native indian jokes also.
- Did you hear about this Indian who wanted to make and sell sandwiches? He opened a New Delhi
- Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.
- So the Cleveland Indians are changing their name because they think it's derogatory to a group of people: Their new name:
The Ohio Indians - "A new Indian casino opened up just down the street." "Don't bother going."
"Oh? How come?"
"Their drinks are too expensive. I heard they were charging 24 dollars for a Manhattan. - There's a new Indian open on a boat on the canal round corner from my house... ...It's called the Onion Barge.
- I heard about a brand new Indian restaurant They serve fresh, authentic bread, but they always run out. I stopped by after work. Turns out they had Na'an.
- I am going to a very popular new Indian restaurant tonight so I had to make an *Indian Reservation*
- A new Indian sandwich shop opened up in my neighborhood I guess you could say it's our New Deli.
- The Cleveland Indians have officially decided on a new team name. Say hello to your new Cleveland r**...!
Share These New Indian Jokes With Friends
New Indian One Liners
Which new indian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with new indian? I can suggest the ones about mean indian and english indian.
- What was built after the Indian sandwich maker's shop burned down? A New Delhi
- What did the Indian man name his sandwich shop? New Delhi
:D - Where did the Indian go for breakfast? The New Delhi
- Heard about the new Indian wine? "We want our laaaand back"
- Did you hear about the new Indian version of Oliver Twist? "Please, can I have samosa?"
- Where did the Indian buy his sandwiches? The New Dehli
- Why do Indians never run out of fresh food? Because there's always a New Delhi.
- Where do indians get their food? At the New Delhi
- My Indian neighbors just opened a meat market It's a new deli
- I heard some Indians talking about their new favorite rapper H1-beezy
- How do Indians create a new lore? They Bangalore.
- Did you hear about the Indian guy who opened up a grocery store? He called I New Deli.
Cheerful Fun New Indian Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about new indian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean red indian jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make new indian pranks.
A Lesson in English
Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform in bed. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.
The medicine man says, "I can cure this." That said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
Then he says, "This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123'"
The guy then asks, "What happens when I want the effect to go away."
The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234. But be warned - it will not work again for another year."
Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers.
That night he is ready to surprise Joyce. He showers, shaves, and puts on his best shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, "123." It works better than he thought.
Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"
And now you know why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition
Indian Taxi Driver
My regular Indian taxi driver picked me up whilst singing along to his c**... Punjabi music at the top of his voice.
He smiled when I pulled out my set of new ear plugs, "Looks like you've come prepared this time," he said laughing.
I smiled back at him, "Yes," I replied, as I put them up my nostrils.
An Indian army camp receives a new commander...
One time there was an army camp in India that just received a new commander. During the new commanders first inspection everything checked out except one thing. There was a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp. The commander asked what it was for, one of the soldiers who had been stationed there for a while explained to him that the men sometimes get lonely since there where no woman there so they have the camel. The commander just let that go, but after a few weeks he was feeling very lonely so he ordered the men to bring the camel into his tent. The men did, and he went to work on it. After about an hour the commander came out zipped up his pants and said, "So is that how the other men do it?" One of the men responded, "No we usually just use the camel to ride into town."
GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.
How stock markets work!
It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied,
'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'
This is how stock markets work!
How national weather service predicts weather.
It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied,
'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
looking for investors for my new specialty dating site
So I'm planning on taking advantage of the huge influx of specialty dating sites like farmers only or Christian mingle, etc... I'm starting a site exclusively for Indians. It's gonna be called, "Connect the dots."
(So who's in with me???)
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
Obama is going to be visiting India next week
Apparently the Indian government is installing 15,000 CCTV camera's all over New Delhi for Obama's Visit.
This is Ridiculous!!!
Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything!
A man sees a really attractive woman on a train reading the newspaper
...so he chats her up on today's headline.
He: "So, yesterday was the Nymphomaniacs' Congress. I don't suppose you've attended, did you?"
She: "Well, as a matter of fact, I did."
He: "And? What's new in the world of nymphomaniacs?"
She: "Nothing much, Indians have the longest, the Irish can go the longest, same old, same old."
He: "Oh, where are my manners? The name's a O'Connor. Geronimo O'Connor."
My friends and I wanted to get Indian food last night
My friends and I wanted to get Indian food last night, but none of us could decide where to go. After asking around for good places to get Indian food, we finally decided to go get sandwiches at that New Delhi everyone kept talking about.
A man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar and sees an Indian staring at his drink . So he takes the Indians drink and drinks it . Then the indian starts to cry . So the man says it's not that bad I'll buy you a new drink if you want . The Indian replys it's not that . The man ask what's the problem. And the indian says this morning I must my alarm and I was late for work then I went to work and I got fired , I come home early and find out my wife is cheating on me . So I come to this bar and I try to commit s**... but then you drink my poison .
A man moved to New York from India and he opened a lunch counter where he served traditional Indian foods and sandwiches to go. He decorated it in Indian style to remind him of his home city and hired his friends and neighbors from the old country to work there.
You might say he was setting up a little Delhi.
Land O Lakes
Have you guys seen the new Land O Lakes butter packaging? They removed the Native American girl from their labels to be more politically correct.
Now that's the most American thing I've ever seen; remove the Indian and keep the land.
Brown Pants
During the French and Indian Wars in North America, the French captured a British Officer during an engagement. Later that evening the French officers gathered and dined with the new captive.
After dinner the French commander asked their prisoner Sir, we have been wondering why British officers wear a red coat, as it makes you an obvious target for our sharpshooters . The British officer replied We wear it so that if we are wounded, the sight of our blood does not panic our men .
Ever since that day, French Officers have worn brown pants.
