Great New Doc Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
An 85 year old man goes to his doctor...
"Doc, I got a big problem."
"I understand you were recently remarried, is that right?"
"Yes. My new wife is 23 years old, and that's exactly the problem. She just told me she's pregnant! I haven't been a father in sixty years, and I don't know what to do."
"Hmm. Let me tell you a story that I think will help explain what's going on here: A near sighted man decides to go bear hunting. On his way out the door, he accidentally picks up his umbrella instead of his rifle. Once he gets to the woods, he is instantly attacked by a ferocious 1,200 pound bear. He picks up his umbrella and shoots it dead. Does that story make sense to you?"
"No! Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"My point exactly."
High Blood Pressure
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"
A old Jewish man goes to the doctors...
He says "Doctor I've got a huge problem."
The doctor says "What is it?"
He says "I keep getting these silent, smelly, gassy emissions I was with my wife and the Grossmans yesterday and it happened about 100 times during dinner and created a nauseous gas but it was silent so no one new who it was and then again on the bus this morning and even in your office now I must have had 20 of them, Do you have anyway to fix this problem doc?"
The doctor looks up and says "Well first off I'm going to send you to specialist."
The man interrupts him "What kind of specialist doc?"
"A hearing specialist!"
Narcolepsy
A man with narcolepsy visits his doctor and asks for help.
"Well I have a drug that can help keep you awake, or I've just heard of a new treatment which can fully cure you! However, it's still in the testing phase and could possibly kill you. You need to decide which treatment you'll have."
After a short time considering, the man is still unsure.
"Is it okay if i come back tomorrow? I'll have to sleep on it doc."
A man goes to his doctor
"Doc, you gotta help me. I can't stop singing What's New p**...."
"Oh, that sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome," said the doctor.
"Tom Jones Syndrome? Is that rare?"
"It's not unusual."
A man goes to see a new therapist...
A therapist has a new patient and has no idea what his condition or problem is. The patient finally walks in but he is completely dressed in saran wrap. The doctor begins to greet the odd new patient but is interrupted, "Skip the niceties Doc. What is wrong with me?" The doctor took a minute and responded, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!
***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:
Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
"Don't panic Jack... this a new procedure but everything is going to be alright"
- Doc, I am not Jack!
- I am.
A new comprehensive study found that only ~14.3% of dwarves are Happy
The study went on to show that the rest of them are Grumpy, Sleepy, d**..., Bashful, Sneezy, and Doc.
A psychiatrist meets a new patient
The doctor is shocked by his new ward, because the man is wearing only saran wrap, no clothes.
The patient asks his new doctor, "What do you think doc', am I crazy?!"
The doctor calmly replies, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
I asked my friend why his new boots had whoopee cushions on the soles
He said "they're my new Doc Fartens"
You can explore new doc hickory reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean new doc checkup dad jokes. There are also new doc puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
"Doc, you gotta help me. I can't stop singing 'What's New p**...'."
"Ah. That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
A guy goes to the doctor
He says, You got to help me, Doc! I have the song, What's New,p**... stuck in my head. It just keeps going around and around. It's driving me CRAZY!
Doctor replies, Hmmm, that sound like Tom Jones Syndrome.
Tom Jones Syndrome? Is that serious??
Well, it's not unusual.
Amazing Really
A man spills a new RNA virus on himself and immediately begins turning into corn. He rushes into the doctors office and says "help me doc, can you do something about it?!"
The doctor says, "I have a theory on what we can do".
The man says, "I'm all ears."
A man stormed into the Doctor's office
A man stormed into the doctor's office full of excitement. He grabbed the doctor's hand and pumping it furiously, exclaimed Doc, I just want to thank you and tell you how your treatments have improved my life! The bold way that incorporate new scientific breakthroughs with traditional holistic has made all the difference, Thank you!
The doctor, amazed and confused, stammered Thank you, but you're not one of my patients..
I know, said the man, but my uncle was and I'm his only heir!!
Relapse
"Great news, Mr. Oscarson," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You'll never be trapped by the desire to steal again. "Gee, that's great, Doc," the patient replied."And just to prove it, I want you to stop by Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store.
You'll see - you'll feel no temptation to shoplift whatsoever. "Oh, Doctor, whatever can I do to thank you? "Well," suggested the psychiatrist, "if you DO have a relapse, I could use a new microwave. "
