New Coke Jokes
10 new coke jokes and hilarious new coke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about new coke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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New Coke Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good new coke joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.
However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️
Two guys immigrate to Alabama
Two guys immigrate to Alabama and decide to have a small bet regarding which one of them can integrate better. They decide to meet in one year to decide the results.
After one year they meet up and the first guy goes: ''Every sunday I go to church and then Walmart. I only eat chicken, shrimps and bbq. I drink nothing but cheap beer and coke. I just bought myself a new shotgun and new TRUMP decals for my truck.''
The other one (who integrated better) just yells: ''Go back to whatever sh\*thole you came from!''
There's a new social media platform where people can take pictures of how they've been conned by their coke dealer.
Isntagram.
There was a new machine at the gym today.
I had to stop using it after an hour as i felt sick, but it was worth it got through 4 kit kats 2 cherry cokes and 2 packets of crisps.
New intelligence data is showing ISIS is using new and dangerous ingredients to make explosives
Pop Rocks and Coke
A bully stole the new kids lunch...
*Me Chinese, me play joke, me go pee-pee in your Coke.*
Topical Jokes for 6/17
(For best results, imagine these in the voice of your favorite talk show host)
In Michigan, a man was arrested after he tried to toss a football filled with drugs into a prison. Prison guards knew something was wrong when they heard 700 inmates shouting, I'M OPEN! I'M OPEN!
The United States announced they've arrested the mastermind of the 2012 attack in Benghazi. When Republicans heard the news, they said, Oh great! They caught Hillary Clinton! .
Coca Cola is testing a new, low-calorie version of Coke in a green can called Coca Cola Life. The original formula of Coke in the red can will be rebranded as Coca Cola Death.
An ethnically diverse group of people are doing something…
An African-American, a Mexican-American, Jewish-American, and a white man are walking along the beach in Florida. One of them stumbles over a lamp and as he picks it up, a genie appears. The genie thanks them from freeing him from the lamp and offers them each a wish. The African-American says, "My native land has suffered from all the people stolen away by slavery. I wish for all my people to be returned to Africa to start a new age of African success." As he finishes speaking, p**..., he is gone. The Mexican-American is inspired and says, "My native land has suffered from all the people run out by the cartels and corruption. I wish for all my people to be returned to Mexico to start a new age of Mexican success." As he finishes speaking, p**..., he is gone. The Jewish-American feels the same way and says, "My native land has had my people chased out for thousands of years. I wish for all my people to be returned to Israel to start a new age of Israeli success." As he finishes speaking, p**..., he is gone. The white guy is clearly taken aback with all that has happened. He says, "Let me get this straight, all the black, mexicans, and jews are gone? Lemme get a diet coke."
After the North American Beer Festival...
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "I would like the "worlds best beer" a Corona. The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me "The King Of Beers, a Budweiser" The bartender gives him one. The guy from Keystone says, "I'd like the only beer that doesn't give you bitter beer face, give me a Keystone Light." He gets it. The gal from New Glarus sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives her what she ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at her and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Spotted Cow?" Deb replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer.
Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?"
Customer says "bourbon and coke."
Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer j**...?"
He says nods his head yes.
10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure."
Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer j**...?"
And customer nods yes.
Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that."
Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
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