The Best 64 Nevermind Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Nevermind jokes. There are some nevermind sheesh jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these nevermind btw puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Nevermind Jokes and Puns

911 What's your emergency?

**Kangaroo:** I CAN'T FIND MY KIDS!

**911:** Did you check your pockets?

**Kangaroo *[pats pocket]*:** Oh... nevermind.

Irish guy in a parking lo

theres an Irish guy driving through a packed parking lot. Upset, he shouts "dear lord, if ya help me find a parkin spot I swear on me moothers grave that I will give up mah whiskey." Just then a car backed out of a spot in front of him. Suprised, he then shouts "Nevermind lord, I found one!"

Silly Drunks.

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.

"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."

Nevermind joke, Silly Drunks.

I know its old but I have not seen it on here
So, wanna hear a Chemistry Joke?

Nevermind, all the good ones Argon

So I was going to tell you a joke about a broken pencil...

But nevermind, it's pointless.

How do pachyderms hear so well?

Eh, nevermind, it's earelephant.

Did you hear about the one about the heart and stomach?

Nevermind, it's an inside joke.

Nevermind joke, Did you hear about the one about the heart and stomach?

Did you hear about the joke about the broken pencil?

Well, there-- Nevermind, it's pointless.

Did I tell you the one about the maize?

Nevermind, it's too corny.

Have you heard my joke about the Ebola outbreak yet?

Eh... Nevermind. You probably won't get it.

Did you hear the one about the pizza?

Ugh, nevermind. It's too cheesy.

You can explore nevermind yeah reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean nevermind nah dad jokes. There are also nevermind puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Have you heard the rumor about butter?

Nevermind... I wouldn't want to spread it

A man is in town for the weekend...

He's driving through the city looking for a place to park. Unable to find one he looks up and says, "God, if you find me a parking spot, I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life." Just after he finishes saying this, a spot appears. The man turns to God and says, "Nevermind, I found one"

What did the nihilist say to the physicist?

Nevermind, it doesn't really matter.

Do you guys know the story about the broken pencil?

Nevermind, it has no point.

NASA decides to send up an all-female crew for their next shuttle mission...

"Houston, we have a problem."

"What's the problem?"

"Nothing. Nevermind."

"Repeat, what is the nature of the problem?"

"It's fine, whatever."

Nevermind joke, NASA decides to send up an all-female crew for their next shuttle mission...

I lost my Nirvana CD


Did you hear the one about Jonathan Davis in Nebraska?

Nevermind, it's too korny.

What did the passive aggressive raven say to Edgar Allen Poe?

"...ugh nevermind"

Dumb Nirvana Joke

I was gonna tell a Dumb Nirvana joke About a girl I knew named Polly that lived On a Plain. Her favorite drink was Pennyroyal tea with crackers and Mexican Seafood, she had a sliver in her finger and once had an Aneurysm at School but Nevermind that.

Anyone know a good roofer?

Nevermind, the glass ceiling didn't get smashed...

I met a girl named Nirvana yesterday...

I asked her "Did your parents give you than name while you were still In Utero?". She was like "What?".. I just shook my head and said "Nevermind...".

I was carefully measuring out a dab of Cannabis extract for my roommate, when she said,

"Did you remember to-- Oh, nevermind; you're concentrating."

Say, have you heard the joke about the pizza without the sauce?

Well, it goes like- Nevermind, it's too cheesy.

Did you hear the one about the unsharpened pencil?

Nevermind, there's no point.

Goddam it what was the name of that Nirvana album?

Ah nevermind


"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"

"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."

"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"

My wife just left me, she always said I was too insecure

Wait, nevermind

She was just in the bathroom

"Wanna hear a really good joke about half-grown bananas?"

"Nevermind, now's not the ripe time!" πŸ˜‰

I made this myself, instead of sleeping at night.

First women in space.

"Houston, we have a problem."
"Whats the problem?"
"Please tell us."
"I'm fine."

Did you guys hear the one about the perfume factory that went out of business?

Nevermind, it doesn't really make scents anymore

Here's a picture of a dead grizzly..

Nevermind. I can't bear it.

Nevermind, figured it out

Just wondering if anyone knows how to edit the thread title.

A boy was standing on the top of the building about to jump

The physicist said: "You have so much potential!"

So the boy came down, and then the physicist said: "Nevermind."

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?

When she starts fitting in your moms... nevermind I take that back. No one's ever gonna be as fat as yo mama.

Did you hear that joke about the letter that didn't have a stamp?

β€” Did you hear that joke about the letter that didn't have a stamp?
β€” No.
β€” Nevermind, you wouldn't get it.

i almost cracked an incest joke that fits perfectly into our conversation

nevermind i just realized it's actually unrelated

Does anyone know where I can find the "Surrender" Emoji?

Nevermind the French flag works fine. πŸ‡«πŸ‡·πŸ‡«πŸ‡·πŸ‡«πŸ‡·

My wife just left me because of my anxiety and paranoia.

Nevermind, she just returned from the shops.

If I had a nickel for every nickel I have...

Oh wait, I do. Nevermind.

Have you heard the joke about your neighbor?

Actually, nevermind. That might be a little too close to home.

I want to tell you a joke about 'original content'

I mean... nevermind, this sub won't get it.

A story of a pencil.

Nevermind, it's pointless.

Online classified ad

Premature ejaculator in need of smoking hot size 6 blonde.

Preferably with blue eyes and huge double d....


My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure.

Oh, nevermind, she was walking the dogs.

Wanna hear a joke about Jim Jones?

Oh, nevermind. The punch line is too long.

drug-sniffing dog

Me: "Sweet dog you got there"

Policeman: "Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog."

Me: "still in training, huh?"

Policeman: "What do you mean?"

Me: "nevermind"

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Nevermind. They can't change anything

Did you hear about the guy who stole all the bananas from the market?

Nevermind, the story wouldn't appeel to you.

Ever heard the one about the giraffe?

Nevermind, it'd probably go over your head.

I want you to close your eyes for a moment and imagine a world without procrastination…

…actually, nevermind let's do that later

Hey, have you heard the joke about a guy who kept procrastinating? No. Can you tell me?

Actually, nevermind, I'll tell you later.

Wanna hear a Nirvana joke?


I was gonna tell a joke about Nirvana,

But nevermind.

I have a good joke about 2020

Nevermind, in hindsight it wasn't that good.

Me: Sweet dog you got there

Police officer: Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog.

Me: Still in training, huh?

Police officer: What do you mean?

Me: Nevermind

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Nevermind. It's tearable.

Wanna hear a joke... a joke about paper?

Nevermind, it's tearable...

I am a proud anti-vaccine Father of 3.

Edit- Two Now

2nd Edit- One Now

3rd Edit- Nevermind

4th Edit- WOW this really blew up. I would like to dedicate all these wonderful awards to my 3 children Byeson, Dieanne, and Ammunity. They would have been so proud. RIP

The first rule of passive aggressive club is...

You know what, nevermind. It's fine.

My wife left me because of how insecure I am.

Nevermind, she is back. She was just getting some tea.

Women see sex like buying a car

Can I see myself in this long term?

Is it safe?

Is it reliable?

Can it kill me?

Guys look at sex like parking a car.

There's a spot.

There's another spot.

Oh I have to pay? Never-mind.

Handicapped? Hope no-one sees this!

I have a good set of unemployment jokes.

Nevermind none of them work

An atheist comes into a mall

And there is no parking spot, so he says "God, if you give me parking spot, I will convert myself and become Christian".

Two minutes later he says "Nevermind I found one"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the nevermind umm jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working nevermind duh piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes