Never Trust Jokes
137 never trust jokes and hilarious never trust puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about never trust that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Never Trust Short Jokes
Short never trust jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The never trust humour may include short trust jokes also.
- Elon Musk says he is going to pull tesla out of California Never trust a guy with 6 kids that says he is going to pull out
- Never trust German butchers! They said they had the best sausages in the world
But they kept showing me their wurst. - Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union? They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.
- You know why you should never trust Russian Pokemon? Fake Mews.
- I've never trusted an amateur masseuse. They just rub me the wrong way.
- Never trust math teachers who use graph paper They're always plotting something.
- Never trust atoms; they make up everything. say less...
- Never trust a website with purple terms and conditions. They clearly violet your privacy.
- Why can you never trust African cats? Because they're all either lion or cheetahs.
- You can never trust an artist Theyre super sketchy
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Never Trust One Liners
Which never trust one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with never trust? I can suggest the ones about beware and never fail.
- Never trust a mathematician with a graph. They're always plotting something.
- Never trust stairs, They're always up to something.
- Never trust anybody who has graph paper. They're always plotting something.
- You know why I don't trust gay people? Because they're never straight with me
- Never trust an atom when the pressure is on, they split.
- I've never trusted lizards... right from the gecko.
- Never trust a person with 2 anuses Because they're biassed
- You can never trust a teacher who uses graph paper, they're always plotting something.
- Never ever... Never trust a midget that tells you your wife's hair smells nice.
- Why was the 89 degree angle not trusted He's never right
- Never trust a ghost when it says "i love you".. It was just the boos talking
- Never trust an acupuncturist They're all backstabbers
- "Never trust an actor with a gun" said Abraham Lincoln
- Never trust a harp. They're all lyres.
- Never trust volleyball players with your drinks They might spike 'em.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Never Trust Jokes
What funny jokes about never trust you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean have faith jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make never trust pranks.
The five most important qualities in a woman: one who is independent and helps around the house, one who can make you laugh, one who you can trust, one who is good in bed, and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.
Warning ladies!
Never trust a man who calls you "s**...".
This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "s**...". After s**..., he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
It's funny how one person can make you never trust anybody...
Why should you never trust a whale with your secrets?
They're huge blubbermouths.
A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.
Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.
Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks him: "Which of these pythons ate your friend, the male or the female one?"
"That one! That one!", exclaims the Czech, pointing at the male snake, bloated with its stomach full. The caretaker runs up behind the satiated snake, cuts it open and pulls out ... a feeder pig.
"Oh no, it must have been the other one", yells the tourist. So the keeper cuts open the female snake, and sure enough, out comes the tourist.
In the end, the tourist could be revived, and miraculously, both snakes managed to live through the events, but there's still a lesson to be learned here: Never trust someone who tells you the Czech is in the male.
Czech and a Mexican
A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican which ate his friend he points to the male and the ranger kills him and guts him there are no remains of the Czech man in the bear. Moral of the story never trust a Mexican when he says the Check is in the male
Five secrets of a perfect Relationship
1. It`s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job.
2. It`s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It`s important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie.
4. It`s important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.
5. It`s absolutely important that these four women never meet.
Never trust an Adam...
...because they make up everything.
Never trust a screw...
... They might turn on you!
I will never trust a poster who claims to be an obstetrician.
Because OP never delivers.
Why should you never trust a cheap circumcision?
It's a total ripoff.
Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?
Half of them are lyin'.
That's the funny thing about one night stands....
I never take my eyes off of them, because I don't trust them alone in my house, but the next day I can never remember what they look like.
5 advices to men for a happy life
1. You should find a woman that helps you with the cleaning and the chores,
2. You should find a woman that is a good cook,
3. You should find a woman that you can trust and share your feelings with,
4. You should find a woman that enjoys making love to you,
5. Last and the most important thing is that these 4 women should never meet.
What musical instrument should you never, ever trust?
The Lyre.
Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?
Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!
Never trust acupuncturists
they are backstabbers
Never trust an atom
They make up stuff.
Never trust a depressed elevator. It'll only bring you down.
What DJ should you never trust with directions?
Fat Boy Slim, because he's always saying "right here, right now, right here, right now".
Why should you never trust a noodle?
Because they're in-pastas.
LPT: Never trust anyone who says "trust me".
Trust me on this.
Never trust a "Bernie" to manage your finances...
The last one I knew Madoff with all my money.
Never trust a Parasol...
I hear they can be shady.
Why should you never trust soap?
It's an emulsive lyer.
Make-up
Why should you never trust a make-up consultant?
They are always trying to cover something up!
Why can you trust a coffee roaster?
Because he never spills the beans :-)
My father always told me one thing..
"Never trust a girl who enters though the exit."
Never trust trees.
They're shady.
You can never trust the cat family.....
The head of the family is always a lion, and his cousin is a cheetah.
(Lying and cheater, for those whom need this explained).
Why can you never trust second-hand Toyota dealers?
They've got previas.
I would never trust a man like Joe Brooks...
I always thought there was something fishy about him.
Why should you never trust a deer as a dentist
Becuase it'll give you buck teeth
You can never trust someone from Chernobyl.
Most of them are two-faced.
You should never trust a Scottish tailor.
It'll get you kilt.
Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor?
He never mentions "on the other hand"
Never trust a stairwell.
Every time you turn around, it's a new story!
Why should you never trust harp players?
They're always pulling strings
A bus carrying 53 politicians rolls off a cliff....
A farmer sees what happened and buries all the politicians.
Two hours later there are 100 reporters at the farmhouse to interview the poor fellow. One reporter asked him - did you make sure they were all dead before burying them?
The farmer replied - the truth is, some of them said they were still alive, but I know never to trust a politician!
Why should you never trust pillowcase salesmen?
Because it might be a SHAM!
Never trust a metallurgist
They steal everything not bolted down.
Why can't you trust a gay doctor?
They never tell it to you straight.
Why should you never trust a b**... enthusiast when the game is on the line?
They enjoy getting beat when t**...!
I never trust octagons.
They're always lazy, just squares that cut all the corners.
Why should you never trust a story told by little finger?
He's been known to embaelish the facts
Don't trust javascript programmers
All they do is promises but they never callback.
Never trust a dolphin to do an important task for you.
Because if they mess up, it wasn't an accident, they did it on porpoise.
Never trust an atom
They make up everything.
Why can you always trust irrational numbers to keep secrets?
They never repeat.
Remember to never trust anyone who promises you change.
Unless it's a cashier.
Pre-marriage vs Post-marriage
Before marriage: continue reading ↓
Man: I can't wait for the day to come!
Woman: Can I go back on this?
Man: Of course not!
Woman: Do you love me?
Man: Of course!
Woman: Will you cheat on me?
Man: No, why would you have such a thought?
Woman: Will you kiss me?
Man: Of course, more than once!
Woman: Will you ever a**... me?
Man: Never!
Woman: Can I trust you?
Post-marriage: read backwards ↑
Never trust a shark.
They don't have an honest bone in their body.
Why should you never trust a homeless... why should you give them a second chance
Their roofless...
They can change
Why should you never trust a man with peeling skin?
Because he's flaky.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair...
With dirty shoes
You should never trust shrimp.
You never know how shellfish they'll turn out to be.
Never trust a ladder.
They're always up to something.
Never trust a man built like a bear
He might steal your honey
Why do you never trust overweight female drug dealers?
Because they always cell-u-lite
You should never trust iron with your phone
It always tends to steel it
Never trust bed salesmen
They're all sleeper agents
Which animal can you never trust?
Cheetah!!
Why should you never trust an A# to play an instrument?
Because it will always B flat
An Irish boy asks his father: "Da, why did the Sun never set on the English empire?"
The latter promptly responded: "Well son, that's because God would never trust the English in the dark!"
Never trust a cosmetologist...
They makeup everything!
Remember past mistakes and never trust the voters to make good decisions...
Southern Biscuits and Gravy was actually a finalist in the Lay's Chip Contest
Never trust information from a gay man.
He can't give it to you straight.
You should never trust a train
Because they have loco motives!
Why should you never trust a statistician?
Because they're always plotting something.
Why did the sun never set on the British empire?
Even God didn't trust the British after dark.
