Never Hear A Woman Say Jokes
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I agree
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold soda.
The day was really quite beautiful,
and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about the age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful
than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another soda, and some heavy deductive thinking,
I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby;
and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say,
"It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
What's more painful between Childbirth and getting kicked in the nuts?
Getting kicked in the nuts is far more painful. After all, sometime, 1 year or so after giving birth, a woman might say ''I'd like to have another child''
But you will never hear a man say ''I'd like to get kicked in the nuts again''
What do you never want to hear a woman's husband unexpectedly say
"Honey, I'm home."
r**... and the elevator.
r**... Magic Elevator
A r**... family are visiting a big city for the first time.
The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.
"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.
"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.
Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cain, waits for the doors to open and gets in.
The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.
They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old b**... blonde.
The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw !"
A woman is taking a shower when she hears a knock at the door...
She throws on a towel and goes to answer it. Outside is her next door neighbor, taken aback by her near-n**.... He says, "wow, I never realized how beautiful you were under all of that clothing! I'll pay you $800 right now to drop that towel!" Dripping wet, the woman scans the hallway. With no one in sight and nothing to lose, the woman promptly drops her towel to the floor and shows her neighbor her full n**... body. Grinning a toothy grin, her neighbor takes out his wallet and hands over eight $100 dollar bills. After she closes the door, her husband calls to her from the living room, "honey, who was that?" "Oh, just our next door neighbor" she replies. Her husband responds, "did he give you the 800 bucks he owes me?"
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
I washed my car today and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally, I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women believe that giving birth must be way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
Bar Bet
A man walks into a bar that he has never been to before. He walks up to the bar and takes a seat. The bartender asks "What are you having". The man is about to respond when he sees a large pickle jar FILLED with cash. The man asks "What's that" the bartender responds "We have a challenge here, if you can complete the three part challenge the money is yours" The man thinks about it for a while and says "What's the challenge" the bartender says "Well first you have to drink a bottle of Jack" the man says "No problem" the bartender continues "Next there is a Rottweiler outside who has a rotten tooth and you have to pull it out" The man starts to get nervous but assures himself he can do it. "Finally" says the bartender "There is a 98 year old woman upstairs who has never been laid and you have to do her" the man shivers but says "Let's do it". The bartender hands him an un-opened bottle of Jack and the man quickly c**... it down. The man continues outside wobbling to the door and for the next several minutes all anyone can hear outside is barking followed by growling and finishing with the whining. The man stumbles back inside, with his shirt torn and bite marks all over his body says "Now whhheere is the oold lady with a sore tooth?"
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