Netflix Jokes

163 netflix jokes and hilarious netflix puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about netflix that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your next Netflix and chill night even better with these hilarious Netflix jokes! From clever subscription puns to jokes about the newest premieres, you'll be sure to get an extra laugh or two with these jokes. Get ready to laugh out loud with the best Netflix jokes!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Netflix Short Jokes

Short netflix jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The netflix humour may include short subscription jokes also.

  1. I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next
  2. My wife said, The Last of Us is a strange show, don't you agree? Me: Yeah, but I've seen stranger things on Netflix.
  3. Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"? She probably gets royalties
  4. So they made a documentary on Netflix about Madeline McCann.... 8 episodes, roughly 8 hours, and if you watched it you watched her more than her parents did.
  5. I heard Netflix and Yahoo are merging. They are moving their HQ to Jerusalem. They'll be known as Net 'n' Yahoo.
  6. 3 months since I had COVID and I've still got very little sense of taste. Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
  7. My girlfriend and I watched 3 movies back to back on Netflix Good thing I was facing the TV.
  8. Netflix is coming up with a new series about Abraham Lincoln. The finale…will be shot before a live audience.
  9. If Netflix ran the world, a year would only be 6 months... Cause it would end after 2 seasons.
  10. Hey girl, are you looking for a stud? I've got the STD, all I need is U.

    Credit goes to Rooster from the Netflix series *The Ranch*

Share These Netflix Jokes With Friends

Netflix One Liners

Which netflix one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with netflix? I can suggest the ones about chill and netflix is a.

  1. Use the promo code Netflix for 15% off of your grades
  2. Use promo code 'NETFLIX' to get 50% off your grades.
  3. Almost done watching that Netflix special on Epstein. I hope it doesn't leave me hanging.
  4. My wife is like Netflix She has regional content I don't have access to.
  5. What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house? Netflix and pill
  6. My ex was just like my Netflix account Shared by five dudes
  7. My girlfriend is like my Netflix account I pay for it and all my friends get to use it.
  8. I have no idea how many exes I have But I can always change my Netflix password
  9. I tried "Netflix and chill?" on my wife. We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls.
  10. H.P. Lovecraft just signed up for netflix... Next he'll get Cthulhu.
  11. Back when I went to college, we didn't have Netflix and Chill. We had Room and Bored.
  12. What's Netflix's biggest competitor? Sleep
  13. I left my wife for the same reason I left Netflix... Too many period dramas.
  14. When gf and I are both sick Netflix and ill
  15. I like it when Netflix do Scifi shows. I hope they continuum

Netflix Is A Jokes

Here is a list of funny netflix is a jokes and even better netflix is a puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • This evening I watched a Series of Unfortunate Events Then I turned off the news and watched Netflix.
  • Netflix's new subscription fees are so high I've had to stop paying the heating bill, Brings a whole new meaning to Netflix and chill…
  • Netflix's original content has some stiff competition. I heard they're shooting something at YouTube HQ today.
  • My local church held a Netflix and Chastity event 31 people registered as going, but nobody came
  • Netflix is launching in Russia, but with a very limited catalogue. They're calling it Nyetflix.
  • Netflix has asked viewers to please stop referring to ted bundy as "Hot" As he was electrocuted in 1989, they are fairly certain he has cooled off by now.
  • That new Madeleine mccann documentary on Netflix was great and all... It just felt like there was something still missing...
  • What if Netflix doubled as a dating service Like here are 7 other singles close by that also watched That 70's Show for 8 hours straight.
  • Did you hear about Peewee Herman's new movie? It's going straight to Netflix because he already released in theaters
  • Ginny and Georgia sexist joke What do you care? You go through men faster than Taylor Swift!

Netflix And Chill Jokes

Here is a list of funny netflix and chill jokes and even better netflix and chill puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • She told me she wanted to Netflix and chill. But when I got there she had Redbox.
  • The wife and I did the opposite of "netflix and chill" last night... CNN and panic!
  • What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill? Hope you're ready for the next episode
  • What do the Irish have instead of Netflix & Chill? Meet & Potatoes
  • At what point during a Netflix and Chill should you start touching her? Immediately after the Weinstein Company logo flashes across the screen
  • What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date? Netflix and chill.
  • My buddy and I both have the flu. I invited him over for Netflix & chills.
  • why netflix and chill? Because amazon and chill has 1 day delivery.
  • Wanna 'Netflix and chill' but I can't afford Netflix "Pirated movies and chill" isn't getting me laid =/
  • Netflix and chill is cool... But let's be honest guys, we know for most of you it's Netflix and Jill
Netflix joke, Netflix and chill is cool...

Netflix Binge Jokes

Here is a list of funny netflix binge jokes and even better netflix binge puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How many i's does "Carl" have? One less than "Rick".
    An original joke I pondered while binging TWD on Netflix.
  • Why do bulimics hate Netflix? You can binge all you want, but there's no way to purge.
  • Netflix should make a series about what Mormons say before they ring the door bell. I would binge watch the shucks out of it.
  • Why did the couple go to bed immediately after binge watching the Flash on Netflix? They were Barry tired.
    I'll see myself out now, good night.
Netflix joke, Why did the couple go to bed immediately after binge watching the Flash on Netflix?

Howlingly Hilarious Netflix Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about netflix you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean netflix and chill jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make netflix pranks.

I emailed Netflix and asked if they had Batman Forever

they said, "No, just till the end of June".

Are you ready kids? AYE AYE CAPTAIN! I can't hear youuuu! AYE AYE CAPTAIN! Ohhhhhh, who lives with a GPA under a C?

Who's living with stress induced anxiety? CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS!
If wanting to drop out is something you wish...CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Then take a long nap and watch some Netflix!

Netflix reminds me of my girlfriend

Probably because it's constantly asking me if I'm still here.
Or maybe because it's not a real human being.

Every time a test comes up, my friends and I joke about how we should become trophy wives.

But it seems like a lot of work to be a trophy wife; always dressing up, keeping in shape, keeping everything plucked. If I married a rich guy, I would probably wear sweatpants, watch Netflix everyday, and get fat on pizza and cookie dough. So instead of being a trophy wife, I'd be an atrophy wife.

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally....

So I was like na, more like pirate and b**....

Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill

Let's Imax and c**...

A black lesbian, an obese white neck-beard, and an Indian comic walk into a bar. What do you get?

A Netflix original series!

Netflix the clairvoyant!

Donald Trump is raking in the votes and winning primaries like we haven't seen since 2008 when Obama started his sweep of the nation.
Which proves that Netflix was right all along...
Orange is the new Black.

I'm so alone.....

I can't even find Friends on Netflix.

I saw my sister watching the show "Dexter" yesterday..

I thought it was a pretty weird show, but then again, I have seen stranger things on Netflix.

That one time i hired a h**......

... She offered me the girlfriend experience for no extra charge, of course i accepted ...
... i did not expect however that she would roll up in to a blanket burrito, order Pizza and watch Netflix.

I've been watching the Netflix series about Escobar, but I keep falling asleep...

I think I have Narco-lepsy.

The best part about Netflix is there are no commercials.

On an unrelated note, does anyone know how to get u**... stains out of a couch?

I gave my dog my Netflix password

Which ended up being problematic. See, I'm raising him to be an atheist. I came home one day to find him sitting on the couch upset. He said "My whole life is a lie, you've lying to me. I just found out where all dogs go."

I'm really confused by the fact people judge me for refusing to pay for Netflix...

I mean, I've seen Stranger Things.

Just found out there is a whole series on Netflix about this year's election results.

Orange is the new black.

TIL That in 2014 Netflix announced they wouldn't be pursuing science-fiction themed original content.

But Stranger Things have happened.

My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV

Man... I love Netflix!

Which Netflix show best sums up America today?

Orange Is the New Black.

Netflix is replacing its star ratings with thumbs up and thumbs down.

Whether you like it, or not.

How does Bill Cosby get girls?

Netflix and pills.

I'm gonna pitch a show to Netflix, called"Speak No Evil"

Its about mimes that commit m**...

whats a blue whale's favorite date night?

netflix & krill

Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?

I think it's called Two Baroque Girls

Have you heard of 'Dear White People'? I think that Netflix should make a 'Dear Islamic Extremists' show.

That show would blow up.

I was browsing Netflix the other day, and Happened upon the Amy Schumer special "Inside Amy Schumer." Looks like they couldn't use the original title idea due to copyright issues:

'Wide Open Spaces'

Life is pretty much like Netflix

If you eliminate your standards completely, there's more to enjoy

I finally watched that Netflix sci-fi show that everyone is watching...

I keep hearing from everyone that it's a very wierd show, but to be honest, I've seen stranger things.

The Japanese version of Netflix and Chill

is h**... with Senpai

Why is Westeros like a Netflix original?

There's only two seasons and there are years between them.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The s**... is the same, but you pick the Netflix.

In Russia they dont have Netflix,

they have Nietflix.

This is what you do when you're lost

Grab you phone, open Netflix watch any movie with at least a two second s**... scene and you dad will walk by any second

My millennial son called me for the first time in a year and a half

I changed the Netflix password

I was just about to watch Armageddon on Netflix, when my subscription expired.

"Ah well," I thought. "It's not the end of the world."

What is Donald Trumps favorite show on Netflix and Former President Obama's least favorite?

Orange is the new black.

Netflix is making a sequel to Bird Box.

It's called Chicken McNuggets.

For centuries, scientists said Drake and Josh couldn't come to Hulu or Netflix

But they found a way, they found a way

The interactive Netflix film Bandersnatch was so successful, they're creating another interactive film all about Donald Trump.

It's called Grabbed-her-s**....

I was watching the Ted Bundy tapes on Netflix

When he was first arrested, the police departments from the different states got together in a hotel to have a conference and share knowledge with each other.
It was the world's first Ted Talk.

I like my women how I like my Netflix subscription.

Overused, shared by my family, secretly used by my friends and neighbors and ignored all night long.

Netflix tried to get the Jeffrey d**... tapes...

...but it was going to cost them an arm *and* a leg.

This Valentine's Day, 1 in 3 people will be crying into a bag of popcorn while watching Netflix alone.

Not me, though. I can't afford a subscription.

Why did all the MARVEL Netflix shows disappear?


What's the difference between a frog giving a speech and the worst thing Netflix has ever done?

One is Ribbit Ribbit the other is Reboot Reboot.

Haters, Amy Schumer just got another Netflix special announced, who's laughing now

^(still nobody)

Netflix: Are you still watching Madeleine McCann?

Kate and Gerry: No we are out for dinner

Coming in 2019: a new interactive Netflix experience that shows what happens to society when all crimes are legal, and the entire thing is available live streaming. The series you can't miss, it's...

Binging and Purging

I watched a gripping rock-climbing documentary on netflix the other day

It was great but it ended on a cliffhanger

Bert Tom Chris Joke

(Bert Kreischer) In L.A. people get offended for other people - (Tom Segura) So, I like to say offensive things because it makes me feel warm inside to invoke that reaction - (Chris D’elia) Matter of fact, I have to do crazy things to feel like a normal human...?

My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix.

She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her s**... sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have s**... before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.

one of the best documentarys

ive ever watched on netflix is about a chinese couple who didnt board the Malaysian flight 370 (one that disappeared) when they should have done. All sorts of conspiracy theories. worth a watch, highly recommended.
It's called 2 wongs dont make a flight

Limmerick from The Crown on Netflix

There once was a girl named Sally
Who enjoyed the occasional dally
She sat on the lap
Of a well-endowed chap
And cried "Sir! You're right up my alley."

Depressed people's favorite Netflix category

is "watch again"

Netflix joke, Depressed people's favorite Netflix category

jokes about netflix