Ness Jokes

Funniest Ness Short Jokes

Short ness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ness humour may include short loch ness monster jokes also.

1. What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into? None of your abyss-ness
2. Movies appeal to either dog people or cat people. For example the Hunger Games has more of a feline nature. There's a certain cat-ness to it.
3. Have you heard the Scottish National Party's proposal to reduce Loch Ness monster sightings? Nick all the sturgeon
4. Some monsters have a medical condition in which it is actually imposible to take a cohesive picture of them Such monsters include: Sasquatch, The Loch Ness Monster, and Mike Wazowski.
5. Someone told me that a Loch Ness sighting can happen at anytime. I like the random Ness of it.
6. I'm thinking of starting an Ayn Rand-themed seafood restaurant... In fact, I've already come up with a name for it:
   > The Virtue of *Shellfish*-ness
7. If the Loch Ness Monster exists, does that also mean it has a favourite vegetable? Loch Ness' celery.
8. I'm all about fitness fit'ness whole burger into my mouth
9. What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster? Messie
   Thank you and goodnight.
10. If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
    Loch Jaws.

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Ness One Liners

Which ness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ness? I can suggest the ones about loch ness and eucalyptus.

1. What do you call the Loch Ness monster on drugs You're high ness
2. Lol Spell IHOP then say NESS.
3. What is Ice T's sister's name? Ness Tea
4. You are Spell imap then say ness
5. What does the Loch Ness Monster eat? Fish & ships
6. How does a chemist rate a party He performs a lit-ness test
7. Say: Eye Spell: map
   Say: ness
8. Elliot Ness, Cookie Monster, and John Locke start a law firm. Locke Ness Monster.
9. What's the best day to marry the Loch Ness Monster? Wednessday
10. What kind of car does the loch Ness monster drive? A Nissan tree fiddy!
11. [OC] What do ypu call a monster that does a lot of exercise? Fit-ness
12. My gay friend was up all night studying for his AP tests he was full of AP-ness
13. (1) Say "Eye" (2) Spell the word "Map" (3) Say "Ness". Yes you are.
14. What did the Loch Ness monster call his baby? The cute ness monster.
15. Why didn't the Loch Ness monster tip the strippers? He needs free tiddies

Loch Ness Jokes

Here is a list of funny loch ness jokes and even better loch ness puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How much money would it cost to find and capture the Loch Ness Monster? About tree fiddy
• How many times has the Loch Ness monster been sighted as of late? About Tree Fiddy.
• Did you know Al Capone had a cousin in Scotland? They called him the Loch Ness Mobster.
• How much is the Loch Ness Monster mod on Steam? about tree fiddy.
• A very pixelated Loch Ness Monster showed up at my door... He said "Imma need about 8-bitty."

Eye Map Ness Jokes

Here is a list of funny eye map ness jokes and even better eye map ness puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• You are? Follow instructions.
  Say - Eye
  Spell-map
  Say-ness

Hilarious Ness Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about ness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ness pranks.