The Best 77 Nerd Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Nerd jokes. There are some nerd tech jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these nerd nerd math puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Nerd Jokes and Puns

My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

We now call him Dr. Awkward.

Me being a math nerd I was certain that my crush would reject me if I asked her out

But either way, I was 2Β² to ask her out

Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a kernel panic was a KFC that was out of chicken.

I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was.

He said, "1920x1080".

jokes about nerd

Whatever you do, don't tell this joke to a math person; they will just make you upset

Bill is a giant nerd, and he knows that he isn't perceived as cool; in fact, lots of people call him a square. So, in an effort to be cool, he finds some cool guys and decides to go do everything he can with them.

They say, "Hey Bill, we're going to the bar. Want to come?"

He says, "Sure," and comes to the bar. They all order shots and beers. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he orders shots and beers, and they all have a great time.

Next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a club. Bill comes along with them. They all start grinding on women and ordering tons of booze. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he does the same and has a good time.

The next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a football game. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he comes along. The guys are all cheering for their team enthusiastically, but Bill just sits quietly in his seat. Finally one of the guys says, "Bill, this isn't like you. Everything else we've done, you've joined in happily. Why won't you root for the team with us?"

Bill replies, "Well, I don't want to be a square. And rooting? Rooting is for squares."


A nerdy sysadmin joke for today

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC

(thank you very much)

Heisenberg gets pulled over (Nerd humor)

Finding great success as a scientist Heisenberg decides to buy a sports car. He is blazing down the highway when he sees a cop car behind him. He pulls over and the cop comes up to the window and asks: "Do you have *any* idea how fast you were going?!"

Heisenberg looks at him and replies: "No, but I can tell you *exactly* where I am."

Nerd joke, Heisenberg gets pulled over (Nerd humor)

Nerd joke

A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."

I see your nerd joke and raise you mine

A neutron walks into a bar, orders a drink and sits down. He says to the bartender "How much?". Bartender replies, "For you no charge."

[Nerd joke] What do trespassers have in common with logical fallacies?

They both violate the rules of the premises.

(Nerdy joke) Two chicks walk into a bar...

Two chicks walk into a bar. One says to the other,"Have you ever heard of the Bechdel test?" The other says,"Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day."

You can explore nerd math reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean nerd rhombus dad jokes. There are also nerd puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A nerd rides up to his friend on a new bike.

The friend asks "Wow! Where'd you get the cool bike?"

The guy replies "A beautiful blond woman rode up to me on it, then took off all her clothes, and said I could have anything I wanted!"

The friend says "Good call, dude! The clothes would never have fit!"

Nerdy financial humor. You have been warned.

I started showing more interest in one of my investments.

It appreciated it.

What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

A nerd walked into my Bio class today sipping a full martini glass...

Me: Why did you decide to bring alcohol into class??
Nerd: I needed to prove that I was more of a daredevil than I get credit for.
Me: Well what's in the glass then?
Nerd: Ahh, its a little cocktail I call the "Jellyfish".
Me: Why do you call it that?
Nerd: Because its 98% water...

Nerd joke.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing a rousing game of hide and seek. Einstein begins to count to ten. Pascal runs and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square in the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims Newton! I found you! You're it! Newton replies You didn't find me. You found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!

Nerd joke, Nerd joke.

you know what really turns on a nerd?

unprotected wifi

Nerdy pickup line.

Hey baby, Are you uranium because I'm Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. ;)

Nerdiest joke I know.

I'd tell you a joke about UDP packets, but I'm not sure you'd get it.


What is the difference between a Nerd and a Troll.

Trolls were once Nerds too before they went over to the Dork side.

What does a deaf math nerd speak?

Sine language.

Q: How many geeks does it take to ruin a joke?

A: You mean nerd, not geek. And not joke, but riddle. Proceed.

Classroom Nerd

(In a high school class room)

Girl: Do you see that F@#$ING nerd over there.
Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day.
Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a pimp

Help, I need nerd jokes the average high school student can understand.

Something along these lines,

Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything.

What do you call a nerd after highschool?

Boss

What do you call a tall, obese computer nerd with a bladder control problem.

A Big Fat Geek Wetting.

Nerd joke, What do you call a tall, obese computer nerd with a bladder control problem.

What do nerdy mermaids wear?

Algae-bras

Comeback Joke

* nerds phone rings in class *
Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
* whole class laughs *
Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
* whole class is silent *

The functions were throwing a party

Sinus, cosinus and tangens were dancing like crazy. Only e^x was all alone in the corner of the room, so sinus walked to it and asked "Hey, exponential! How are you doing? Why don't you try to integrate yourself?" "I'm trying!!! But nothing happens..."

ha. ah. ah. \*cough\* _i'm a nerd :'(_


When people tell me I'm a nerd for being good at math...

...I simply tell them that I'll add a knife to my hand, divide all their blood vessels, and subtract them from this world.

When a South African tells me they really love math

I can't work out if they're a nerd or an addict

I was a bit of a nerd in high school. Instead of chasing girls I was studying philosophy

My friends always said that I put Descartes before the whores.

Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd

That would be stereotyping.

Come over to the Nerd side...

We have Pi.


Nerdy pickup line

Hey baby, are you a compressed file format, because rar.

^^^^^now ^^^^^where ^^^^^did ^^^^^I ^^^^^put ^^^^^the ^^^^^bleach...

What's the difference between a nerd and a stoner?

One gets high scores, while the other gets high on scores.

A nerd was invited to compete in the Trigonometry Mathletic Competition...

he said:
"Sine me up!"

you should make sure chrome doesn't save your password on lab computers

i logged you out

prequel nerd

What's a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.

Why did the chemist wear gloves to brush his teeth?

His mouth was 4 molar

Post your favorite nerd chem jokes!

What do nerds eat for breakfast?

Terabytes

Why was the computer nerd sad that there weren't any barbecues with wifi?

Because there aren't any grills on the internet.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd..

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

How do nerds relieve their sexual frustration?

They maths debate.

"There's no escape..."

...says a nerd in front of a broken keyboard.

What's a kinky nerd into?

USBDSM

What do a gay Mexican and a highschool nerd have in common?

They both do their essays.

Nerds buy Bitcoin currency because it reminds them of their girlfriend

Completely virtual.

The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?"

Ummm, "150 points?"

A nerd walked into bar

He wasn't wearing his glasses

Nerd Joke: What do you get if you cross a robot with a pirate?

Aaaarrrrr2D2

What do nerds and Creationists have in common?

They're offended by The Big Bang Theory.

I can't eat whale blubber.

I've tried it, I'm just not Inuit.

-my beloved nerd of a husband

Came to me while folding laundry (bad nerd pun incoming).

What was the name of the first Protozoa to circumnavigate the globe?

Flagellan

My nerdy friend got a Ph.D on the History of Palindromes.

He's now Dr.Awkward.

A skinny nerd walks into a bar.

Hey! he shouts to one table All you idiots should move to table seven! and to another table he shouts And all you morons should move to table nine! A big ass body builder gets up from the first table and faces the nerd and growls Hey, I'm not an idiot! The nerd straightens his glasses, looks up to the body builder and replies Well, you go sit at table nine then.

Come in our nerd group!

We have pi

A nerd is riding a bike on the college campus when he comes across his friend.

The friend asks, "Where did you get that awesome bike?"

"You won't believe what happened," the nerd says. "I was walking on a trail yesterday, minding my own business, when this really beautiful woman rode up to me. She threw the bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, and said '*take what you want.*'"

"Good choice," says the friend as he nods approvingly. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

The newest sci-fi movie on Netflix is about a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life.

Alien versus Redditor.

Why are D&D nerds better in bed?

Because they always take initiative in the roleplay.

What do you call a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life?

Alien versus Redditor.

A nerdy friend of mine just got his Ph.D. on the history of palindromes.

He is now Dr. Awkward.

How can you tell the difference between a nerd and someone with a BDSM fettish?

Ask them what a dungeon master is

So my brother told me this joke. He said it is a nerd joke

What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
The same brick moving really really fast.

Knock knock

Knock knock

Who's there

Doctor

Doctor who?

Nerd!

Glasses wearers are less likely to get Covid-19...

I guess you could say we have nerd immunity.

My wife's friend had a baby...

She posted a picture on Facebook and my wife commented "Aww, what a little angle." I replied to my wife's comment "Ya, she's pretty acute."
I felt like a tremendous nerd for even thinking of a geometry joke, but ya...

[Nerd Joke Warning] What Tea makes you original?

Novel-tea

(Must be a nerd to get this one) Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the other... oh... never mind.



Context: a mobius strip is an object with the interesting property of only having one side.

what's a nerds favourite dessert?

Raspberry pi

Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

This might be the nerdiest joke I know. Here's a bonus mathematical nerd joke:

Why don't riddles work in octal notation?

Because seven ten eleven.

I know a real nerd, and even though he's given up his interest in farm machinery, he still sucks the atmosphere out of the room.

He's an ex-tractor fan.

Why can't the math nerd ever use the smartphone developed by Apple?

Because the iPhone is imaginary for him.

Did you hear about the computer nerd who was eaten alive by a giant snake?

Now he's programming in python.

Even though I'm a nerd, I don't really embrace the notion of complete and perfect knowledge of canon, but I'll admit I was pretty embarrassed when I lost all credibility in a discussion on Chewbacca when I inadvertently spelled it with a K.

It was a Wookie mistake.

what do you call a pale, introvert nerd?

Fair and square

What do nerds and racists have in common?

They both aspire to be wizards.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the nerd it nerd puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working nerd nerd love piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes