The Best 52 Nephew Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Nephew jokes. There are some nephew stepfather jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these nephew birthday puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Nephew Jokes and Puns

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

My nephew is in the 'why' phase of his life as a 6 year old...

and I told him 'Because it feels nice and you're an unreliable witness!'

- Congratulations, my boy! - Says the uncle to the nephew who is getting married the next day.

- I'm sure a couple of years from now, you will remind of this day as the happiest day of your life!
- But I'm only getting married tomorrow - responds the nephew.
- Yeah - explains uncle - That is exactly what I meant!

Nephew joke, - Congratulations, my boy! - Says the uncle to the nephew who is getting married the next day.

What do you call an incestuous nephew?

An aunt-eater.

From my 3yr old nephew: Why do chickens sit on their eggs?

Because they don't have chairs.


A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.)

If the three legged turtle crosses the road what color is the rabbit?
Green! Because Space Jam was a good movie.

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!"

This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

Nephew joke, Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas

My nephew got me with this one

He said "they've been together for 15 years." When I asked who, he said "DEEZ NUTSS"

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud

Credit to my 5 year old nephew

Came out to my parents at Christmas. Later that day my nephew asked to play hide and go seek.

Now I'm back in the closet.

You can explore nephew daughter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean nephew granddaughter dad jokes. There are also nephew puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives

His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.

Why did the kid eat his homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
-My 6 year old Nephew

"Am I mentioned in the will?" the nephew asked anxiously.

"You certainly are" , replied the lawyer.

Right here in the third paragraph your uncle says:
To my niece Sarah I bequeath a hundred thousand dollars,
to my cousin Janice fifty thousand dollars,
and to my nephew Charles, who was always curious to know if he was mentioned in my will, I say "Hi, Charles"

My newborn nephew entered the world with the innate ability to dance. They ran tests and found that he got the ability by being born with an extra chromosome. The doctors are calling it...

"Get down syndrome"

"I know what you have been sucking on"

My nephew has a habit of sucking his thumb, so i had a brilliant idea to make him stop. I told him people that suck their thumbs become fat.

At the store yesterday however, we ran across a pregnant lady and he had the great idea to shout "I know what you have been sucking on" in the middle of the store.

Nephew joke, "I know what you have been sucking on"

Last week, I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew.

It was a choking hazard.

You guys wanna hear a construction joke?

..... hold on I'm working on it.

(Brought to you by my 8 year old nephew)

What's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed?

Nephew: Brushing your teeth!

Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.

Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!


My 12 yr old nephew: What do you call a reptile that always starts drama?

An instigator!

Joke from a 1920s Australian Newspaper

**Diplomacy**

Uncle to nephew playing a game of War with a companion: "If you take the fortress within a quarter of an hour, I'll give you a sixpence."

Youngster (a minute later): "Uncle, sixpence please, the fortress is taken."

Uncle: "How did you manage it so quickly?"

Youngster: "I offered the besieged threepence and he gave in."

Source: The Narracoote Herald, Friday 13, February 1920

Eclipse is when earth is between sun and moon, what is it called when sun is between earth and moon ?

Apocalypse

P.S . My 11 yr old nephew said this and I found it very funny

I couldn't decide whether to get my nephew a toy or a pet for his first birthday.

Ended up buying him a rattlesnake.

Who's the male version of Denise?

The nephew

My nephew wants to be an accountant, so for his birthday, I got him a big bag of receipts

Not to worry if he doesn't like them, I've kept all the presents

What do you call a sick Darth Vader?

Barf Vader

-Courtesy of my 6 year old nephew.

An elderly woman is holding a funeral for her recently deceased husband

After the viewing, she discusses how kind and honest of a man her husband was, how she was so sad to see him go, and she bursts into tears.

Her nephew, after consoling his mourning aunt , asks May I say a word .

Through tears she says, Of course

He takes a moment and says Plethora .

His aunt, wiping her eyes, says Thank you, that means a lot.

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

Told my nephew the story of the grasshopper and the ant. The ant saved up for winter while the grasshopper didn't. I asked my nephew at the end of the story Me:What is the moral of the story?

Nephew: You should never live in a Fall's sense of security

My nephew was doing his history homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo?

I said, "He was a poor boy, from a poor family."

(A joke my 3 y/o nephew came up with)

Kiddo: knock knock

Mom: who's there?

Kid: Daddy. Because I locked the door. *laughs hysterically*

My 4-year-old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown.

He can't say 'please' which I think is poor for four

Props to my 7 year old nephew for this one. What do you call a spicy pig?

Peppa.

Two flies riding on a motorbike.

One says to the other: Stop! Stop! A bug just flew into my eye.

The other day I dropped my baby nephew and my sister started freaking out

I understand that I should be more careful, but let's be honest, who the f*** brings a baby to the Grand Canyon?

A joke from my nephew... so please be kind.

How many types of witches are there? 3

A good witch, a bad witch, and a sandwich.

(My nephew is 24, and yes, we're all a little worried about him. He's not developmentally disabled or anything. He's just....?)

Why are cows such great coworkers?

Because they're out standing in their field.

My 8-year-old nephew said this joke today and he can't stop laughing. I thought you all would enjoy it.

I was injured playing Peekaboo with my nephew.

I had to go to the I.C.U.

My little nephew wanted to share a joke he was very proud of coming up with: Why did the hotdog get grounded?

It was being a brat!

From my 7 year old nephew: What's the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.

Also from my 7 year old nephew: What is it called when Olaf is crying?

A meltdown.

Clothes make the man (Joke from my nephew)

What's the difference between a sharp-dressed fellow on a bicycle and a raggedy looking guy on a unicycle?

Attire.

What kind of bird fixes stuff?

A repair-a-keet.

My nephews hate my 'dad' jokes

They say I'm very un-cool

My nephew came to me with a look of pride on his face.

He said uncle, uncle look what I made it's a telephone. He proceeded to show me two tin cans tied together with string.

I pulled out my iPhone and said: this is what kids your age make in China.

(6yo nephew came to me and blurted) What does the cheese say to the other cheese passing by ?

Have a grate day.

What do you call a cheeseburger that's on the move?

A slider.

My 10 year old nephew came up with this one, I think he nailed it!

I bought my nephew a pair of airpods for his birthday.

The kid was so ungrateful, he didn't even say thank you. He just started throwing up gang signs at me.



I think he's fallen into a bad crowd ever since he went deaf.

The Don of the local Mafia's phone rang

It was his favorite nephew.

Uncle, the cops are closing in on me. I'm going to be arrested.

Thank you for telling me, said the Don, Be a good Sicilian don't talk until our lawyer gets there.

What if they beat me?

Don't worry, it's easy not to talk. Just sit on your hands.

What do you call a dolphin in the woods?

Dead.

My 4yo nephew just made this one up.

I tried telling my 4 year old nephew that it's perfectly fine to accidentally poo your pants…

But he's not buying it. In fact, he's still making fun of me

True story told by a friend: My nephew was gay and everyone knew it but he was slow coming out of the closet. One day, home from college, he was having breakfast and blurted out, "Mom - I'm gay."

She replied, "Does this mean that you sometimes put other men's penises in your mouth?" Her son thought that this was an odd response but answered, "Yes." "Then I never want you to complain about my cooking again." (It was her hilarious way of saying that his orientation is not an issue for her.)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the nephew sister jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working nephew stan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes