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Nelson Jokes

69 nelson jokes and hilarious nelson puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nelson that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out this collection of humorous one-liners featuring some of the most influential figures in history - Lord Nelson, Jackson, Mandela, and more! Laugh away your worries and share a smile with your friends with these classic Nelson Jokes!

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Funniest Nelson Short Jokes

Short nelson jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nelson humour may include short napoleon jokes also.

  1. bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
  2. There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.
  3. To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.
  4. Comedian Lee Nelson threw money at Sepp Blatter at a FIFA conference as a protest. It backfired as he now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden.
  5. Cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president, until after serving 27 years in prison.
  6. Nelson was 5ft 4". His statue on top of the column in London is 18ft. Thats Horatio of about 3:1
  7. Not many people know that Nelson was 5' 6" in real life. His statue in Trafalgar Square is 17'4" That's a Horatio of around 3:1
  8. How did Nelson Mandela do laundry while in prison? He used one part water, a part corn starch, and a part Tide.
  9. What is the difference between Donald Trump and Nelson Mandela? Mandela went to jail before becoming President.
  10. The minute the great man dies, cryogenics should be employed until a cure is found for old age and chest problems... Freeze Nelson Mandela!

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Nelson One Liners

Which nelson one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nelson? I can suggest the ones about martin and newton.

  1. Lord Nelson was 5ft 6 inches. His statue is 17ft 4 inches. That's Horatio of 3:1.
  2. Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli.
  3. Both Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker Died at 95
  4. Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa? Nelson Candela
  5. What's black and slides down Nelson's column? Winnie Mandela.
  6. What is Nelson Mandela's favorite snack? Apartheid pods
  7. What do you call a Hindu South African? Nelson Mandala.
  8. I made sand art of the Battle of Trafalgar It's a Nelson Mandala
  9. A feminist problem Why Nelson Mandela ? Why not Neldaughter Womandela ?
  10. What do Paul Walker and Nelson Mandela have in Common? They`re both dead and black.
  11. What did Lord Nelson say to his shipmates before they got on the ship? Get on the ship
  12. What is the South African base unit for luminous intensity? Nelson Candela
  13. So I heard that the leader of the Monkees died recently... R.I.P. Nelson Mandela
  14. Did you hear that w**... Nelson got hit by a car Yeah he was playing on the road again
  15. What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth? The front row of a w**... Nelson concert.

Willie Nelson Jokes

Here is a list of funny willie nelson jokes and even better willie nelson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • w**... Nelson has been hospitalized after being struck by a car today. He was playing on the road again.
  • What's the worst thing you can hear while s**... off w**... Nelson? *"I'm not w**... Nelson".*
  • What's the worst thing a woman can hear after blowing w**... Nelson? I'm not w**... Nelson.
  • What don't you want to hear after performing o**... s**... on w**... Nelson? I'm not w**... Nelson.
  • I guess w**... Nelson died He was hit by a truck. He was playing on the road again.
  • What's the last thing a woman wants to hear while blowing w**... Nelson? I'm not really w**... Nelson.
  • What's 50 feet long and has 37 teeth? The front row of a w**... Nelson concert
  • Did you hear beloved singer songwriter w**... Nelson died today? He was playing on the road again.
  • What gets higher with age? w**... Nelson
  • What is the last thing you want to hear when blowing w**... Nelson? What is the last thing you want to hear when blowing w**... Nelson?
    I'm not w**... Nelson.

Nelson Mandela Jokes

Here is a list of funny nelson mandela jokes and even better nelson mandela puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the sign language translator at Nelson Mandela's f**...? Neither did his audience.
Nelson joke, Did you hear about the sign language translator at Nelson Mandela's f**...?

Nelson joke, Did you hear about the sign language translator at Nelson Mandela's f**...?

Hilarious Fun Nelson Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about nelson you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean noel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nelson pranks.

Did you hear the one about the dad who told his son that if he didn't stop m**... he would go blind?

The son said, "Dad! I'm over here!"
(w**... Nelson gets credit for this one, and you absolutely give a man like w**... credit.)

The worst thing you could hear after o**... pleasing w**... Nelson.

I'm not w**... Nelson.

w**... Nelson died today..

Yeah he was playing on the road again..

What's the worst thing w**... Nelson could say while you're blowing him?

I'm not w**... Nelson.

What's the worst thing w**... Nelson can tell you while giving you a h**...?

I'm not w**... Nelson

What's worse than giving w**... Nelson a b**...?

Finding out it's not w**... Nelson

What's the worst thing w**... Nelson can say to you after you give him a b**...?

"I'm not w**... Nelson..."

How is w**... Nelson like Spider-Man?

They both love mary jane

What's the worst thing you can hear when you're going down on w**... Nelson?

I'm not w**... Nelson.

What's the last thing you wanna hear after having s**... with w**... Nelson?

"I'm not w**... Nelson."

w**... Nelson is doing a concert for Beto O'Rourke

Some fans are burning their m**... in protest.

Ricky Nelson would be proud

I had a dream the other night. I was at an Italian restaurant, as I was walking in unnoticed Lou Abbot and Mary Tyler Moore waiting to be seated and Corey Hart was leaving having already ate. I made a gesture and said Hello Mary, Lou, and goodbye Hart.

What's the worst thing to hear after blowing w**... Nelson?

I'm not w**... Nelson.

Have you heard how w**... Nelson died?

He was playing on the road again.
-my music history teacher.

Nelson joke, w**... Nelson has been hospitalized after being struck by a car today.

jokes about nelson