Neigh Jokes

118 neigh jokes and hilarious neigh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about neigh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a good laugh? These funny neigh jokes will have you and your friends laughing until you clop out of the room! Whether you're looking for jokes about horses or a good nay, these funny neigh jokes will make everyone smile.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Neigh Short Jokes

Short neigh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The neigh humour may include short niece jokes also.

  1. A horse walks into a bar. Hey," says the bartender.
    The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!"
  2. If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.
    I'll show myself out
  3. What do you call a horse that lives next to you? A Neigh-bor.
    Sorry for my horrible dad joke.
  4. So what do you call a street where sheep and horses are fighting over turf? A baaad neigh-borhood.
    I'm glad none of you are close enough to punch me.
  5. So I went to a stable for a self confidence boost I found myself surrounded by a bunch of neigh-sayers.
  6. So there's this duck, trying to sell drugs to this horse The duck hold out his wing and says: "Quack?" The horse shakes his head and says: "Neigh!"
  7. What's a horse's house called? A stable. What is a group of stables called? A *neigh*bourhood
  8. A young horse walks into a bar Bartender says, Can I get you a drink? Horse replies, Neigh, I'm foal.
  9. A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, Are you singing karoake tonight?
    Horse replies, Neigh, I don't like being the centaur of attention.
  10. It is said that Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator. Nothing was ever passed, he always voted neigh.

Share These Neigh Jokes With Friends

Neigh One Liners

Which neigh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with neigh? I can suggest the ones about nearby and necks.

  1. Mayo is a horse Mayo Neighs
  2. I have a horse named Mayo. Mayo neighs.
  3. Should you take ivermectin for Covid? Neigh
  4. I have a horse named Mayo and sometimes mayo neighs
  5. I recently bought a horse and I decided to name him Mayo. Mayo neighs.
  6. I call my horse Mayo Sometimes Mayo neighs.
  7. What do you call the horse and sheep who live next door? Your neigh-baas
  8. I just bought a horse and named it Mayo. Why? Because Mayo Neighs.
  9. Which armed forces do horses join? The neigh-vy
  10. I named my horse Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo-neighs
  11. I named my horse Mayo Mayo neighs.
  12. Why did Joe Rogan take ivermectin? To prove the neigh sayers wrong.
  13. What does a horse say when it is ready to mate? I'm hor-neigh
  14. And this is my horse, Mayo Mayo: *neighs*
  15. I have a horse named Mayo I have a horse named Mayo.
    Sometimes Mayo neighs.

Horse Neigh Jokes

Here is a list of funny horse neigh jokes and even better horse neigh puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What kind of wine does a horse drink? A chardo-neigh.
  • I have a horse called Mayo. Sometimes Mayo neighs
  • A man walks into his doctors The man says "doctor help me I think I might be turning into a horse"
    The doctor says "well have you had any symptoms"
    The man says "neigh"
  • Why couldn't Caligula get anything passed in the Roman Senate? His horse kept casting too many neigh votes.
  • Why don't horse's governments ever get anything done? Because they always vote neigh
  • My horse's name is mayo Mayo neighs
  • I met a horse who keeps talking about the apocalypse. He told me the end is neigh.
  • What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds? A tor*neigh*do
  • What do you call a group of horse stables? A NEIGH-borhood
  • Where do horses like to hang out? In the neigh-bourhood.
Neigh joke, Where do horses like to hang out?

Uplifting Neigh Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about neigh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean neat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make neigh pranks.

What will the neighbors think?

With summer getting sunnier a woman asks her husband:
"What do you think: should I go sunbathing in the n**... in the backyard?"
The husband just shrugs and says:"Do as you like."
The woman replies: "What do you think the neighbors will say if they see me sunbathing like that?"
The husband replies:"They'll probably think I married you for the money."

Our neighbors got really annoyed at me after I played catch with their son yesterday.

But in fairness, I couldn't find a ball, and the kid actually seemed to enjoy getting tossed back and forth. So I don't know what the big deal is.

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.
The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.

My neighbor is loud and obnoxious

Now I know how Canada feels

My neighbour wrongly accused me of property theft.

I didn't take a fence.

My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday.

Sold his Soul for a Mustang.

My neighbour has had a record 44 concussions.

He lives very close to me.
A stone's throw away in fact

My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up...

A man went to his lawyer and told him, 'My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?' 'Do you have any proof he owes you the money?' asked the lawyer. 'Nope,' replied the man. 'OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,' said the lawyer. 'But it's only £500,' replied the man. 'Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!'

My neighbors listen to awesome music

whether they like it or not.

I can't believe my neighbors came to my house at 5:00 AM...

...thank god I was already up playing the bagpipes.

so, my neighbors just got arrested for making their kids get botox.....

none of the kids looked surprised

My neighbours listen to good music

Whether they want to or not

My neighbor named his dog "Rolex"...

He's a watch dog.

My neighbor, an elderly p**..., adopted a puppy

and asked me if I could help train it.
I told her "No sorry, you can't teach an old trick's new dog."

Me to My Neighbour

we get it. you can hold your breath (*looks at watch*) for 19 days. Quit showing off and come out of that pool.

My neighbourhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer for 6 years.

I never knew he was a barber.

My neighbor came pounding on my front door at 2am last night

lucky for him, I was up practicing my bag pipes.

I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name.

I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night.

My neighbors son asked me to explain women to him.

So I bought him an Xbox game for his PlayStation.

I think my neighbor might be stalking me because she won't stop googling me.

I saw it through my telescope last night

My neighbor is Indian and every night when he comes home he punches his wife...

6:30 pm, right on the dot.

The neighbours kept me up last night because they were having s**... into the early hours of the morning.

I would have asked my wife to knock on their door, but she was out playing tennis with her friends.

My neighbours love my taste in music.

They even call the police to listen it.

My neighbours named their child "Saturn".

That's not something I'd call my child, but it has got a ring to it.

My neighbours are really obnoxious and crass

So now I know how Canada feels...

Our neighbourhood barber got arrested for selling drugs after we had been his customer for 5 years.

We had no idea he was a barber

One of my neighbours has stopped talking to me after I accused him of stealing from my back garden...

...I think he took a fence.

"The neighbors hate us."

"The neighbors hate us."
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."

My neighbors listen to great music

and I don't care if they want it or not.

All neighborhoods are predominantly Mexican.

Until they're done being built.

My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall

But it was his dumb asphalt

My neighbors called the cops on me, but when the police came to my house all they found was my collection of string instruments.

I got charged with domestic violins.

I can't believe my neighbor had the audacity to ring my doorbell at 2 in the morning.

Lucky for him though I was still up playing my bagpipes.

My neighbor was very urgent when asking me for herbs.

He said that he was running out of thyme.

My neighbor thinks I spy on her..

I would tell her otherwise, but she's in the shower right now

My neighbor pounded on my door at 2:30am last night! Can you believe that?! 2:30am!

Fortunately, I was still up practicing my bagpipes.

My neighbors think I'm having s**... with a 3 year old.

I tried to explain it to them but they didn't seem comforted when I cleared up the fact that my German shepherd is actually 21 in dog years.

I got my neighbor to lend me his t**....

But you don't play the t**....
I know. And now he doesn't, either.

My Neighbor is purified of me

Wait, not purified. Petrified. She's petrified. It's hard to read a diary through these binoculars.

My new neighbors are listening to Slayer all day long

They don't seem to like it much, but I'm sure they'll come around eventually.

My neighbors made a s**... tape today

Obviously I haven't told them yet though

I think my neighbour is growing tomatoes in his car...

He's been sat in there with a hose through the window for hours!

Neighbor in my apartment was b**... on my door at three in the morning.

Good thing I was up playing my drums.

My neighbor knocked on my door this morning at 2:30 AM!

Luckily for him i was still up playing my drum

My neighbour banged on my door yesterday asking if I'd seen who stole her laundry off her line.

I got such a fright I almost wet her p**....

My neighbours listen to great music

Whether they like it or not

My neighbor just got arrested for growing m**....

I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.

My neighborhood barber got arrested this morning for dealing drugs. I'm utterly shocked. I've been his customer for years!

I had no idea he was a barber.

So my neighbour is outside gardening t**... again today

I just wish his wife would do the same

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:00am

I know 2:00am!? Good thing I was still up playing my drums

My neighbours recently made a s**... tape ....

Well obviously they don't know that yet!

My neighbor just walked by with two dogs.

I said to him, "I didn't know you had any dogs."
He replied, "They're not my dogs. They're my sister's."
I said, "Wow, your sisters are ugly!"

‌‌My L‌‌esbian neighbours Jane a‌‌nd Caroline a‌‌sked m‌‌e t‌‌o h‌‌elp t‌‌hem c‌‌onceive a‌‌ c‌‌hild r‌‌ecently.

They s‌‌aid t‌‌hey w‌‌ouldn't m‌‌ind i‌‌f w‌‌e d‌‌id i‌‌t t‌‌he o‌‌ld f‌‌ashioned w‌‌ay a‌‌s t‌‌hey w‌‌ere desperate to have a baby.
For s‌‌ix m‌‌onths n‌‌ow w‌‌e've b‌‌een t‌‌rying b‌‌ut I‌‌ j‌‌ust d‌‌on't h‌‌ave t‌‌he h‌‌eart t‌‌o t‌‌ell t‌‌hem I‌‌ h‌‌ad a‌‌ v‌‌asectomy l‌‌ast y‌‌ear.

My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.

His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."

My neighbour and I became really close friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

My neighbour holds the Guinness world record for most concussions.

He lives very close, just a stone's throw away

Neighbor: So, what are your sons's professions?

Man: The first one is an engineer, the second one is a doctor. The third one is a business man and my last son is a thief!
Neighbor: What? Why don't you kick your 4th son out of the house?
Man: How can I sir? He is the only one who earns money!

My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall...

But it was his own dumb asphalt...

My neighbor visited my house the other day

He said: Isn't your house the same as mine? How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your living room when you moved in?
12 I said.
A few days later he came back, pretty p**.... "I just finished, and I have 7 rolls of wallpaper left!"
Yeah, so did I.
\*Heard in Dutch and translated.

My neighbors all listen to the same music I do

Whether they like it or not

My neighbour just banged on the wall at 4.20am, can you believe it!!? Luckilly I was still up playing music.

He banged and shouted ' can we have a little respect please!'
I shouted back..., 'I'm not a big Erasure fan, but ok this one's for you!'

My Neighbor Is Trying To Argue That Spheres Have Corners

I don't listen to his ramblings because they're pointless.

My neighbor and I are having a land dispute.

Well, it's actually more of a ground beef.

My neighbor is a 90 year old with Alzheimer's, I see him every morning and he asks me if I've seen his wife. Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question.

But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.

My neighbours are complaining about my loud groans during s**... in the mornings.If . . .

they only knew its me putting my socks on!

My neighbor told me he's close to figuring out who's been stealing his clothes

I almost crapped his pants when he said that

Neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3AM

My neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3am. Can you believe it!?
Luckily I was still up playing the drums.

My neighbor knocked on my door at 3 a.m.

3 a.m.!!!
Fortunately, i was still awake, playing my bagpipes.

My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree.

I told him, "Grow a pear"!

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing n**....

I, personally, am on the fence.

My neighbour banged on the wall at 430am this morning!!!!

Can you believe it. Lucky I was still awake listening to music.
They banged and shouted "Can we have a little respect please?"
I shouted back "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this ones for you"

My neighbours are always listening to loud music

whether they want to or not.

The neighbors hate us.

"The neighbors hate us."
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."

Can you believe that ! My neighbour knocked on my door at 1:30am this morning.

Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

My neighbour said she thinks she knows who's stealing her underwear

I nearly crapped her pants when she said that.

My neighbor has two German Shepards that he has named "Rolex" and "Timex"....

They're watch dogs

My neighbor claims his Golden Retriever dog can bring a ball back from half a mile away..

That seems a bit far-fetched to me..

Neighbor: I'll have you know our lawyer has a $50,000 retainer!

Me: Wow, how bad are his teeth?

My neighbour says his frog is of Ukrainian origin.

I however believe it was a tad pole

My neighbors cow had a abortion

Now she's decalfinated

Neigh joke, My neighbors cow had a abortion

jokes about neigh