Neigh Jokes
117 neigh jokes and hilarious neigh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about neigh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a good laugh? These funny neigh jokes will have you and your friends laughing until you clop out of the room! Whether you're looking for jokes about horses or a good nay, these funny neigh jokes will make everyone smile.
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Funniest Neigh Short Jokes
Short neigh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The neigh humour may include short niece jokes also.
- A horse walks into a bar. Hey," says the bartender.
The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!" - If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.
I'll show myself out - What do you call a horse that lives next to you? A Neigh-bor.
Sorry for my horrible dad joke. - So what do you call a street where sheep and horses are fighting over turf? A baaad neigh-borhood.
...
I'm glad none of you are close enough to punch me. - So I went to a stable for a self confidence boost I found myself surrounded by a bunch of neigh-sayers.
- So there's this duck, trying to sell drugs to this horse The duck hold out his wing and says: "Quack?" The horse shakes his head and says: "Neigh!"
- What's a horse's house called? A stable. What is a group of stables called? A *neigh*bourhood
- A young horse walks into a bar Bartender says, Can I get you a drink? Horse replies, Neigh, I'm foal.
- A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, Are you singing karoake tonight?
Horse replies, Neigh, I don't like being the centaur of attention. - It is said that Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator. Nothing was ever passed, he always voted neigh.
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Neigh One Liners
Which neigh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with neigh? I can suggest the ones about nearby and neat.
- Mayo is a horse Mayo Neighs
- Should you take ivermectin for Covid? Neigh
- What do you call the horse and sheep who live next door? Your neigh-baas
- I just bought a horse and named it Mayo. Why? Because mayo Neighs.
- Which armed forces do horses join? The neigh-vy
- Why did Joe Rogan take ivermectin? To prove the neigh sayers wrong.
- What does a horse say when it is ready to mate? I'm hor-neigh
- Why don't horse's governments ever get anything done? Because they always vote neigh
- I met a horse who keeps talking about the apocalypse. He told me the end is neigh.
- What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds? A tor*neigh*do
- Where do horses like to hang out? In the neigh-bourhood.
- What does a horse do when he eats a bunch of eggs and olive oil? He Mayo-neighs
- I can't stand all these negative horses I've got no time for neigh sayers
- Why are horses always so negative? Because they are neigh sayers.
- What do you call a wine loving horse? Chardon-neigh.
Horse Neigh Jokes
Here is a list of funny horse neigh jokes and even better horse neigh puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man walks into his doctors The man says "doctor help me I think I might be turning into a horse"
The doctor says "well have you had any symptoms"
The man says "neigh" - The cow goes 'moo.' The horse goes 'neigh'. The pig goes Can I see your licence and registration?
- What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in horses? A veteri-neigh-rian
- What kind of car does a Japanese horse drive? A neigh-san
- What do you call an exploding horse? Neigh-Palm
- Why did the horse get kicked out of the Barnhouse Union? Because he always voted neigh.
- I held a committee against horses but it failed to pass through. All of them were Neigh-sayers.
- What do you call it when a horse punches you really hard? A neigh-maker
- Why are horses no fun? Because they are neigh-sayers
- Can horse bark? Neigh
Uplifting Neigh Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about neigh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nephew jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make neigh pranks.
My neighbor is so inconsiderate!
He came pounding on my front door at 4am.
Thankfully I was already awake practicing my drum solo, but very rude!
Our neighbors got really annoyed at me after I played catch with their son yesterday.
But in fairness, I couldn't find a ball, and the kid actually seemed to enjoy getting tossed back and forth. So I don't know what the big deal is.
There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...
...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.
The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbor is loud and obnoxious
Now I know how Canada feels
My neighborhood is getting dangerous...
I was walking home the other night from the store with my hoodie on and the woman in front of me sped up, so I sped up. Then she started running so I started running to. I felt bad I passed her and left her behind. I never did see what we were running from.
My neighbour wrongly accused me of property theft.
I didn't take a fence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbours are very loud when they have s**....
And that's bad for my insomnia. Last night I was so fed up I had to scream their safety word.
My neighbors kept saying my yard was an eye sore..
Logically, i took a fence to it.
My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday.
Sold his Soul for a Mustang.
My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up...
A man went to his lawyer and told him, 'My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?' 'Do you have any proof he owes you the money?' asked the lawyer. 'Nope,' replied the man. 'OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,' said the lawyer. 'But it's only £500,' replied the man. 'Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!'
My neighbors listen to awesome music
whether they like it or not.
I can't believe my neighbors came to my house at 5:00 AM...
...thank god I was already up playing the bagpipes.
so, my neighbors just got arrested for making their kids get botox.....
none of the kids looked surprised
My neighbor named his dog "Rolex"...
He's a watch dog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbor, an elderly p**..., adopted a puppy
and asked me if I could help train it.
I told her "No sorry, you can't teach an old trick's new dog."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me to My Neighbour
we get it. you can hold your breath (*looks at watch*) for 19 days. Quit showing off and come out of that pool.
I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name.
I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night.
My neighbors son asked me to explain women to him.
So I bought him an Xbox game for his PlayStation.
My neighbor is Indian and every night when he comes home he punches his wife...
6:30 pm, right on the dot.
My neighbors dog barks unbelievably loud...
... so I asked him to train his dog to bark at a more believable level.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The neighbours kept me up last night because they were having s**... into the early hours of the morning.
I would have asked my wife to knock on their door, but she was out playing tennis with her friends.
My neighbours love my taste in music.
They even call the police to listen it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbors caught me watching them have s**... through their bedroom window and told my parents.
My dad made me apologize and told the couple I was normally above that type of behavior. I took the advice and started watching through the skylight.
My neighbours named their child "Saturn".
That's not something I'd call my child, but it has got a ring to it.
Me, neighbor and cops are making a band
I play electric guitar, Cops are playing drums on the door and neighbor sings outside the window.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbours are really obnoxious and crass
So now I know how Canada feels...
One of my neighbours has stopped talking to me after I accused him of stealing from my back garden...
...I think he took a fence.
"The neighbors hate us."
"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."
Two neighbors were arguing...
N1: How do you know I threw this can in your yard?
N2: Because it's the same one I threw in your yard!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall
But it was his dumb asphalt
My neighbors called the cops on me, but when the police came to my house all they found was my collection of string instruments.
I got charged with domestic violins.
My neighbor tried to charge me $20 to watch the eclipse from his balcony
Daylight robbery
My new neighbors are from a foreign country and refused to eat the yogurt I offered them.
Pretty sure it's a cultural thing.
My neighbor was very urgent when asking me for herbs.
He said that he was running out of thyme.
My neighbor thinks I spy on her..
I would tell her otherwise, but she's in the shower right now
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbors think I'm having s**... with a 3 year old.
I tried to explain it to them but they didn't seem comforted when I cleared up the fact that my German shepherd is actually 21 in dog years.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got my neighbor to lend me his t**....
But you don't play the t**....
I know. And now he doesn't, either.
My Neighbor is purified of me
Wait, not purified. Petrified. She's petrified. It's hard to read a diary through these binoculars.
My neighbors all refer to me as The Lawnmower Whisperer.
Talking with lawnmowers is quite simple, actually. All you have to do is say, ¿Hola, cómo estás, Juan?
My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower
I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden
I saw my neighbour hitting his plants with a long stick. I asked him why he was doing it but he wouldnt give me a straight answer,
He just kept beating around the bush.
My new neighbors are listening to Slayer all day long
They don't seem to like it much, but I'm sure they'll come around eventually.
The neighbors complained about my 5 a.m. bagpipe playing...
...I guess they're not mourning people.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbors made a s**... tape today
Obviously I haven't told them yet though
I think my neighbour is growing tomatoes in his car...
He's been sat in there with a hose through the window for hours!
I can't believe my neighbour.
He knocked on my door and yelled for me AT 2am. 2am! Can you believe him? Lucky for him i was still awake playing my drums.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbour banged on my door yesterday asking if I'd seen who stole her laundry off her line.
I got such a fright I almost wet her p**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbor just got arrested for growing m**....
I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So my neighbour is outside gardening t**... again today
I just wish his wife would do the same
My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.
His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."
My neighbour and I became really close friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
We got a long well.
My neighbor failed the entrance exam for butcher's school.
He didn't make the cut.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbor is a cougar into b**...
You could say she is into strapping young lads.
My neighbors wife is very liberal
she kept saying 'More to the left! More to the left!'
My new neighbours listen to Metallica really loud all hours of the night!
I mean, they may not want to, but they do.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbour was sunbathing n**... in her garden and as I was w**... while watching her from the window I caught my wife staring at me in the doorway...
Do you think she might be a pervert?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Neighbor: So, what are your sons's professions?
Man: The first one is an engineer, the second one is a doctor. The third one is a business man and my last son is a thief!
Neighbor: What? Why don't you kick your 4th son out of the house?
Man: How can I sir? He is the only one who earns money!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbor visited my house the other day
He said: Isn't your house the same as mine? How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your living room when you moved in?
12 I said.
A few days later he came back, pretty p**.... "I just finished, and I have 7 rolls of wallpaper left!"
Yeah, so did I.
\*Heard in Dutch and translated.
My neighbour
My neighbour started a new business making boats in his attic.
The sails are through the roof.
My neighbor asked if I could pitch in money to help him buy the world's largest piece of sports equipment, and then get 5 friends to also.
I refused. I know it's just a big racket.
My Neighbor Is Trying To Argue That Spheres Have Corners
I don't listen to his ramblings because they're pointless.
My neighbor and I are having a land dispute.
Well, it's actually more of a ground beef.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After i saw my neighbor standing n**... by the window I knew it couldn't get any better
I had just peeked
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbours are complaining about my loud groans during s**... in the mornings.If . . .
they only knew its me putting my socks on!
My neighbor told me he's close to figuring out who's been stealing his clothes
I almost crapped his pants when he said that
My neighbor who was a first grade teacher just got arrested for prostitution
I've know her for ten years
I never knew she was a teacher
"Our neighbor died just now" I told my wife after I hanged up my phone
"Who, Ray?"
"Why are you cheering? You don't even know who I am talking about?"
My neighbour banged on the wall at 430am this morning!!!!
Can you believe it. Lucky I was still awake listening to music.
They banged and shouted "Can we have a little respect please?"
I shouted back "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this ones for you"
My neighbour always seems to hang up his laundry on sunny days, but never on rainy days.
One day I decided to ask him how he always knew which days to hang his laundry.
"Well," he explained, "if I wake up and my wife is lying on her side, I know it's going to rain and I shouldn't hang my laundry. If I wake up and she's lying on her front, I know it's not going to rain and I should hang my laundry."
"That's a very interesting method," I replied, "but what if she's lying on her back?"
"Ah, those days," he said, "I have better things to do than laundry!"
My neighbor. She's single. She's shapely & beautiful and she lives right across the street.
I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door.
I opened the door, she looked at me and said, I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have fun tonight. Are you doing anything?
I quickly replied, Nope, I'm free!
Great she said. Can you watch my dog?
My neighbor claims his Golden Retriever dog can bring a ball back from half a mile away..
That seems a bit far-fetched to me..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Neighbor: I'll have you know our lawyer has a $50,000 retainer!
Me: Wow, how bad are his teeth?
My neighbor got a boat, so I had to get one, too.
I couldn't resist the pier pressure.
My neighbour says his frog is of Ukrainian origin.
I however believe it was a tad pole
My neighbors cow had a abortion
Now she's decalfinated
