Needle And Thread Jokes
9 needle and thread jokes and hilarious needle and thread puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about needle and thread that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Needle And Thread Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good needle and thread joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you s**... it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it.
Man, threading a needle is tough!
Elmo gone wrong…
A new hire at Hasbro was assigned to quality control on the Tickle Me Elmo line.
After an hour, the line foreman saw the line grind to a stop. Frustrated workers are yelling, stepping away from the machines, and angrily looking towards the end of the line.
There is the new hire, furiously working with needle and thread, empty boxes and plush Elmos falling around her. The foreman goes over to see what the problem is, and finds a stack of red felt pieces and a bucket of marbles.
No, no!! I told you to give each Elmo two *test tickles!!*
A man walks into a doctor's office with a very deep cut.
"I need to close up this wound, doc", says the man, "but I can't afford for you to do it, so can you just give me the needle and thread so I can do it myself?"
The doctor says; "sure, suture self"
Mom: I don't think you know what it means to thread a needle through cloth.
Child: Yeah. Sew?
Coffee
Coffee: you haven't had enough until you can thread a sewing machine needle while it's running.
My scout leader taught me a very valuable lesson...
... "If you lick your fingers and wet it a little, it will slide right in". Threading needles has never been this easy!
*Ahem, ahem* So...
♫ A needle pulling thread... ♫
A patriotic needle said:
Don't thread on me.
My grandma Edna had to get a job...
...so she applied and was hired at the toy factory where they make Tickle-Me Elmo dolls. She was led to her station near the end of the assembly line where the foreman told her what was expected of her.
A couple hours later, the foreman came back to check on her. He stood behind her and observed as she meticulously folded two marbles into a small piece of cloth. Then, using a needle and thread, she stitched the folded cloth between the legs of a newly assembled Tickle-Me Elmo doll. Then she placed the finished doll into a bin for packaging. The foreman quietly watched with a growing expression of puzzlement on his face as Edna repeated this process several times.
Finally, the Foreman's eyes lit up with understanding. He placed his hand on her shoulder and said "No, Edna. I told you to give each doll two... test... tickles."
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