Necks Jokes
40 necks jokes and hilarious necks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about necks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Necks Short Jokes
Short necks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The necks humour may include short big neck jokes also.
- Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn't working.
- I brought my dead girlfriend back to life by passionately kissing her neck ...I guess you could say I'm a neck-romancer
- This guy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.... I said, Is that a fret?
- How does an ant put on a tie? With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke.
- I told my dad my neck hurt cause I slept wrong He said the only thing you do, you can't do right?
- Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life Because vampires are neck romancers
- There was a man on a stool with a rope around his neck. He said he'll kill himself if i didnt give him a high-five. Of course i left him hanging.
- How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
- Just had a guy threaten to attack me with the neck of a guitar I asked him, "Is that a fret?"
- I always wear my Stethoscope around my neck So in an emergency, it teaches people a valuable lesson about assumption
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Necks One Liners
Which necks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with necks? I can suggest the ones about no neck and strong neck.
- Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color? M'genta
- What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys? A neck romancer.
- Why did the wizard wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer....
- What do you call a vampire out on a date? A neck romancer
- Yo mama so fat... I pictured her in my head and broke my neck.
- Someone said they'd attack me with the neck of their guitar... "Is that a fret?"
- Why was 6 afraid of 11? Because 11 snaps people's necks with her mind.
- Why are vampires so obsessed with necks? Because they were raised by a neck romancer.
- Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far from their bodies.
- How do you circumcise a red-neck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
- Would a charming vampire be a neck-romancer?
- It wasn't much fun last year having a broken neck. But I can look back now and laugh.
- What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice? Neck-romance-y.
- My vampire girlfriend doesn't give me any space She's always breathing down my neck.
- I like to kiss my girlfriends neck. I guess I'm a neck romancer.
Playful Necks Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about necks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knees jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make necks pranks.
Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work
8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here
Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?
Because their heads are so far from their body
What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
How do red necks celebrate Halloween?
Pump kin
What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?
Afroturf
Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?
Because if they were shorter they wouldn't reach their heads.
What do red necks do at Halloween?
They pump-kin
Vampires are actually very successful artists with a common flaw...
Whenever they are doing a face portrait they always stop below the chin...
Whenever they are sketching a figure they always stop at the top of the shoulders....
But this is cuz they s**... at necks.
What do you get when you have three lawyers up to their necks in sand?
More sand.
What do you call someone who resurrects dead people to kiss their necks?
A Neckromancer.
What do you call someone who really loves necks?
A necromancer.
Do you know where Chuck Norris stands on White Nationalists?
On their necks.
Welcome to America, land of the red, white and blue
Red necks, w**... and blue collars
What do you call 3 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
A good start.
A man walks into a bar...
...wearing a hospital gown and attached to an IV drip.
He asks the barman to give him a double v**... on the rocks.
Barman passes him one and he necks it back.
He asks the barman for another double v**... on the rocks.
Barman passes him another and he necks it back.
'I really shouldn't be drinking this with what I have,' the man says.
'What do you have?' the barman says.
'50 cents,' the man says.
What's Steve Job's favorite animal part?
Turtle necks
I started a butchering job the other day.
My first job was to crack and pull out duck necks and to make a memorable first day I said
"You know how ducks quack? Well soon enough I'll be quacking their neck"
Why do r**... have red necks?
From provoking everyone else they meet to strangle them.
I've snapped a bunch of necks
Being a necklace photographer isn't too bad
What do you call a basketball team full of giraffes?
The New York Necks
Why were the witch and wizard always kissing each other's necks?
Because they were neckromancers
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet stink.
