The Best 46 Necklace Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Necklace jokes. There are some necklace platinum jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these necklace benz puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Necklace Jokes and Puns
What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes?
I won't be an accessory to this.
The Meaning of dreams
One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "Maybe you'll find out tonight…," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled:"The Meaning of Dreams."
A woman was recently taken into custody for strangling her husband with a necklace...
...but she was only charged with accessory to murder.
What do you call a second hand gold necklace?
Recyc-bling
(I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)
Is that a noose necklace?
That's knot cool.
I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls
Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You`ll know tonight," he softly whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.
My girlfriend said she liked the jewelry my grandmother wore
so I bought her a life alert necklace
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and then his wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
It was part of the deal
"I'm independent"
Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace.
I keep a photo of my mother flexing inside the charm of my necklace
Because she is a strong, in the pendant woman
What is Batman's least favorite Sex Act?
The Pearl Necklace.
You can explore necklace locket reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean necklace jewelery dad jokes. There are also necklace puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Pricey set of teeth
A tourist was admiring a tribal necklace at a gift shop during her honeymoon in India.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Crocodile teeth" the salesman beamed.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that crocodile teeth mean as much to you as pearls do to us"
"Of course not!" he objected.
"Anybody can open an oyster"
I've snapped a bunch of necks
Being a necklace photographer isn't too bad
Did you hear about the guy who made his wife a necklace out of crystal meth?
I hear it was pretty dope.
My Thai girlfriend is so generous
She gave me a pearl necklace.
Dreams.
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, I just dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?
You'll know tonight, he said.
That evening the husband came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it–to find a book entitled:
The Meaning of Dreams.
A necklace and a little plane on it.
The man was staring at the little plane on the woman's necklace
The woman: Do you like the plane?
The man: No! I like the airport.
Valentine's Day Gift
A young lady was caught napping one afternoon on Valentine's Day. She woke up when she heard the doorbell.
"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day," she said to her boyfriend. "What do you think it means?"
"You'll know for sure tonight," he replied.
That evening, the young man arrived with a small package and gave it to his girlfriend. Delighted, she opened it and found a book entitled "The meaning of dreams."
My wife told me "For Valentine's Day, nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace"
So I got her nothing.
What would you like for your birthday...
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."
"My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
The Romans executed tens of thousands by crucifixion, and...
you're just gonna assume the guy on my necklace is Jesus?
Getting a portrait painted.
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told
the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace,
emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.
But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist.
I know, she said. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.
A woman gets up in the morning
wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."
People in England must be really strong
I knew a British guy that said his necklace was 100 pounds, but he talked about it like it was nothing.
A woman goes home for lunch
And is surprised to find her husband at home.
She goes up to him and says, "Take off my necklace."
Any he takes off her necklace.
"Take off my blouse."
And he unbuttons and removes her blouse.
"Take off my skirt."
And he unzips and removes her skirt.
Finally she says, "Don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again!"
I'm fortunate to have met a beautiful woman from Mississippi who had all of her teeth.
All of them are on her necklace.
A woman calls her husband one day...
A woman calls her husband one day to see why he's late coming home from work.
"Well honey, you know that jewelry place we stopped by that one time, where you saw that necklace that you said you liked more than anything you'd ever seen before?"
"Yes?"
"Yeah... I'm at a bar across the street from there."
When I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for Christmas, she said "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace!"
So I bought her nothing....
I bought a 24K gold necklace the other day, but when I put it on, my skin started turning blue and that's when I suspected it was fake...
Turns out it was a bracelet...
Two siblings, a boy and a girl opens their Christmas presents
The boy received a football hat while the girl received a wonderful gold necklace.
The next year, the boy received a puzzle and the girl received an new wardrobe full of clothes.
And the next year again, the boy finds out he got a cheap chinese phone while his sister received an iPhone X.
So this year, after the opening, the girl says: "Haha! mom and dad loves me more!"
The boy replies: "Haha! I don't have a tumor"
A good deal...
Guy 1: I wish my wife stops talking for at least a few min.
Guy 2: I gifted my wife a diamond necklace and she didn't speak to be for 6 months.
Guy 1: What? How? Was it fake?
Guy 2: No. That was our deal !
I was by my friends side when he died on a trail in the woods. With his last ounce of strength he reached out and put the necklace he wore everywhere in my hands. The look on his face was desperate and serious, he really wanted me to have it...
And that's why I wear this epipen around my neck.
The girl stuck in the necklace didn't want any help
She was independent
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says: So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?
Bernie, she says. I want a divorce .
My goodness, he says. I wasn't planning on spending that much.
The diamond necklace
During the breakfast in her birthday, a woman told her husband:
— Honey, last night I had a dream where you gifted me a diamond necklace. I wonder what that means…
— Oh, perhaps you'll find out tonight! — the man replied.
Later that evening, the husband arrived from work with a small package. He gave it to the woman. She unwrapped it very excited, and inside she found a book: *The Meaning of Dreams*.
My wife said nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.
So I bought her nothing.
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Native American.
"What is it made of?" she asked."Alligator's teeth," the man replied."I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.""Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
A wife woke up one morning after a long restful sleep......
She stretches, and turns to her husband and says, you know, I had the weirdest dream! I dreamt that you gave me a diamond necklace! What do you think my dream means?
The husband thoughtfully responds well, you'll know tonight!
Later that evening, the husband comes home with a tiny package for his wife. Here darling, for you! he says. Excited, the wife opens the package to see what it was.
She pulls out a book called Dream Interpretations and Meanings .
A sixty year old millionaire ran into an old friend in a jewelry store after a gap of several years and proudly introduces him to his gorgeous twenty eight year old wife.
The friend eyes her as she tries on a necklace in the tabletop mirror and whispers, "You lucky dog, how did you net someone like her?"
The millionaire leans in closer and whispers conspiratorially, "I told her that I was eighty."
Why was the CEO of Subway distraught when his teenage daughter walked around with a brand new pearl necklace?
She went to Jared's
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She told me that nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.
So I bought her nothing.
I told my wife that I will buy her a diamond necklace for her birthday
She said nothing will please her more
So I bought her nothing instead
It's my wife's birthday. This morning when she woke up, she told me that she dreamt that I got her a diamond necklace for her birthday, and asked if her dream could mean anything. I assured her that she'd find out later today.
She's gonna love the book I bought her about the meaning of dreams.
I got my 6 year old so good and she actually understood it. I cracked myself up in the process
I was holding my daughter in the living room and she saw the jewelry making kit she got for Christmas. She asked me to make her a necklace.
So I immediately dropped her.
She held on to me and dangled with her arms around my neck.
"There, you're a necklace."
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.
She replied, "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace."
So, I brought her nothing.
I asked my wife what she wanted for our wedding anniversary.
She said nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.
So I bought her nothing.
She lied.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the necklace scarf jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working necklace carat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.