Necklace Jokes
75 necklace jokes and hilarious necklace puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about necklace that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends laugh with our selection of jokes about necklaces! From pearl necklaces, to chokers, diamond necklaces and lockets, we provide plenty of options to tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re looking for a good joke to tell at your next jewelry party or just want a laugh, our necklace jokes are sure to do the trick.
Funniest Necklace Short Jokes
Short necklace jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The necklace humour may include short locket jokes also.
- I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She told me that nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace. So I bought her nothing.
- My wife told me "For Valentine's Day, nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace" So I got her nothing.
- I told my wife that I will buy her a diamond necklace for her birthday She said nothing will please her more
So I bought her nothing instead - My wife said nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace. So I bought her nothing.
- I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She replied, "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace."
So, I brought her nothing. - I keep a photo of my mother flexing inside the charm of my necklace Because she is a strong, in the pendant woman
- Did you hear that the guy that makes rings and necklaces out of steel is closing his shop for today? Yes, it's ferrous jeweller's day off.
- What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes? I won't be an accessory to this.
- I asked my wife if she would like a necklace for Christmas, she said nothing will please her more So I got her nothing instead
- When I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for Christmas, she said "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace!" So I bought her nothing....
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Necklace One Liners
Which necklace one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with necklace? I can suggest the ones about jewelry and earrings.
- "I'm independent" Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace.
- Women are like necklaces They strangle me when i try to sleep with 'em.
- The girl stuck in the necklace didn't want any help She was independent
- My Thai girlfriend is so generous She gave me a pearl necklace.
- Why do Italians wear necklaces To show them where to stop shaving.
- I've snapped a bunch of necks Being a necklace photographer isn't too bad
- Is that a noose necklace? That's knot cool.
- Yo Momma has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace!
- What's the cheapest item of jewelry? A pearl necklace
- Where did the judge go to buy a necklace for his wife? The jury store
- Necklace - $10,000 Earrings - $5,000
New Car - $30,000
Let's do it today - Priceless - I put my vape on a necklace Juulery
- what do you call a vegetable necklace? an artichoker
- What do you get when you mix 50 Cent and 2 Chainz? A wierd cheap necklace
- I made a DNA necklace in my science class It goes great with my genes
Pearl Necklace Jokes
Here is a list of funny pearl necklace jokes and even better pearl necklace puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was the CEO of Subway distraught when his teenage daughter walked around with a brand new pearl necklace? She went to Jared's
- Pearl Necklace Norway joke Rebel Wilson: Fun fact, a pearl necklace means something different in Norway.
- Yo Momma asked me for a Birthday Present.. So I gave her a Pearl necklace..
She loved it! - My wife was complaining last night My wife was complaining last night that I never get her any jewelry. I offered to give her a pearl necklace. She got mad.
- I wanted to give my wife a nice pearl necklace for her birthday. Sadly, all I could manage was a brooch.
- Gave Helen Keller a pearl necklace... ... boy, she never saw that one coming.
- What is Batman's least favorite s**... Act? The Pearl Necklace.
- what did Santa get Mrs. Claus for Christmas? a pearl necklace 'cause she's a h**... h**... h**...
Witty Necklace Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about necklace you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nose ring jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make necklace pranks.
The Meaning of dreams
One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "Maybe you'll find out tonight…," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled:"The Meaning of Dreams."
A woman was recently taken into custody for strangling her husband with a necklace...
...but she was only charged with accessory to m**....
Who says men don't remember?
A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and so she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I do remember that shop."
He replied, "Well, I'm in the pub next door."
What do you call a second hand gold necklace?
Recyc-bling
(I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the mary jane a lot so......)
A long time ago in a ghetto far far away...
...Yoda was walking down the street, wearing a ton of bling. Necklaces, bracelets, gold teeth, the works. A passer-by stops him and says, "Wow, Yoda, that's a ton of bling!"
Yoda replied, "For show, mine is all."
I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls
Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You`ll know tonight," he softly whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and then his wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
It was part of the deal
Pricey set of teeth
A tourist was admiring a tribal necklace at a gift shop during her honeymoon in India.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Crocodile teeth" the salesman beamed.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that crocodile teeth mean as much to you as pearls do to us"
"Of course not!" he objected.
"Anybody can open an oyster"
Did you hear about the guy who made his wife a necklace out of crystal m**...?
I hear it was pretty dope.
If you made a wall hanging out of cheap necklaces bought from the merch tables at small, underground rock concerts...
Would you have a Decoration of Indie Pendants?
Dreams.
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, I just dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?
You'll know tonight, he said.
That evening the husband came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it–to find a book entitled:
The Meaning of Dreams.
Valentine's Day Gift
A young lady was caught napping one afternoon on Valentine's Day. She woke up when she heard the doorbell.
"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day," she said to her boyfriend. "What do you think it means?"
"You'll know for sure tonight," he replied.
That evening, the young man arrived with a small package and gave it to his girlfriend. Delighted, she opened it and found a book entitled "The meaning of dreams."
What would you like for your birthday...
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."
"My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
The Romans executed tens of thousands by crucifixion, and...
you're just gonna assume the guy on my necklace is Jesus?
Getting a portrait painted.
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told
the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace,
emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.
But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist.
I know, she said. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.
A woman gets up in the morning
wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."
A woman goes home for lunch
And is surprised to find her husband at home.
She goes up to him and says, "Take off my necklace."
Any he takes off her necklace.
"Take off my blouse."
And he unbuttons and removes her blouse.
"Take off my skirt."
And he unzips and removes her skirt.
Finally she says, "Don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again!"
I'm fortunate to have met a beautiful woman from Mississippi who had all of her teeth.
All of them are on her necklace.
A woman calls her husband one day...
A woman calls her husband one day to see why he's late coming home from work.
"Well honey, you know that jewelry place we stopped by that one time, where you saw that necklace that you said you liked more than anything you'd ever seen before?"
"Yes?"
"Yeah... I'm at a bar across the street from there."
Two siblings, a boy and a girl opens their Christmas presents
The boy received a football hat while the girl received a wonderful gold necklace.
The next year, the boy received a puzzle and the girl received an new wardrobe full of clothes.
And the next year again, the boy finds out he got a cheap chinese phone while his sister received an iPhone X.
So this year, after the opening, the girl says: "Haha! mom and dad loves me more!"
The boy replies: "Haha! I don't have a tumor"
A good deal...
Guy 1: I wish my wife stops talking for at least a few min.
Guy 2: I gifted my wife a diamond necklace and she didn't speak to be for 6 months.
Guy 1: What? How? Was it fake?
Guy 2: No. That was our deal !
I was by my friends side when he died on a trail in the woods. With his last ounce of strength he reached out and put the necklace he wore everywhere in my hands. The look on his face was desperate and serious, he really wanted me to have it...
And that's why I wear this epipen around my neck.
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says: So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?
Bernie, she says. I want a divorce .
My goodness, he says. I wasn't planning on spending that much.
The diamond necklace
During the breakfast in her birthday, a woman told her husband:
— Honey, last night I had a dream where you gifted me a diamond necklace. I wonder what that means…
— Oh, perhaps you'll find out tonight! — the man replied.
Later that evening, the husband arrived from work with a small package. He gave it to the woman. She unwrapped it very excited, and inside she found a book: *The Meaning of Dreams*.
Where is the freedom of a s**... whose hobby is making necklaces?
Independence.
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Native American.
"What is it made of?" she asked."Alligator's teeth," the man replied."I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.""Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
A wife woke up one morning after a long restful sleep......
She stretches, and turns to her husband and says, you know, I had the weirdest dream! I dreamt that you gave me a diamond necklace! What do you think my dream means?
The husband thoughtfully responds well, you'll know tonight!
Later that evening, the husband comes home with a tiny package for his wife. Here darling, for you! he says. Excited, the wife opens the package to see what it was.
She pulls out a book called Dream Interpretations and Meanings .
A sixty year old millionaire ran into an old friend in a jewelry store after a gap of several years and proudly introduces him to his gorgeous twenty eight year old wife.
The friend eyes her as she tries on a necklace in the tabletop mirror and whispers, "You lucky dog, how did you net someone like her?"
The millionaire leans in closer and whispers conspiratorially, "I told her that I was eighty."
It's my wife's birthday. This morning when she woke up, she told me that she dreamt that I got her a diamond necklace for her birthday, and asked if her dream could mean anything. I assured her that she'd find out later today.
She's gonna love the book I bought her about the meaning of dreams.
I got my 6 year old so good and she actually understood it. I cracked myself up in the process
I was holding my daughter in the living room and she saw the jewelry making kit she got for Christmas. She asked me to make her a necklace.
So I immediately dropped her.
She held on to me and dangled with her arms around my neck.
"There, you're a necklace."
I asked my wife what she wanted for our wedding anniversary.
She said nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.
So I bought her nothing.
She lied.
A jewel
Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.
But, Madam, you are not wearing any of those things.
True enough, said Mrs. Whembleton. If I should predecease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry!
One Christmas Eve, a man and his wife were shopping in town and became separated...
The woman called him on her cell phone and said, "Where are you?" The guy said, "Remember that little jewelry store we went into last year and you found that diamond necklace that you wanted, but I couldn't afford to buy it for you?" The woman was overcome with emotion and said "Yes, yes ... I remember." And the guy said "I'm in the bar next door to that store having a beer."
