Neck Lift Jokes
5 neck lift jokes and hilarious neck lift puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about neck lift that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Neck Lift Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good neck lift joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I made a clone of Patrick Stewart but something went terribly wrong.
The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I'd been hoisted by my own Picard.
I'm not old. I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck. Everything made the same noise: Crrrrrraaaaaaccccckkkk!
So I've come to the conclusion that I'm not old, I'm crispy!
Morning s**...
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T shirt she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lift up as I thought, "I'm either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards, she said "Thanks," and walked back to the stove, her T shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
The Lone Ranger gets caught.
The Lone Ranger is caught by a group of Crow braves and buried up to his neck in sand. The leader of the braves tells him he has one last dying request, and so coolly and calmly he whistles to his horse Silver and Silver t**... over and the Lone Ranger whispers something in his ear.
Immediately Silver bolts off into the distance and then quickly returns with a beautiful woman on his back, who gracefully slides off him and proceeds to lift her skirt, sit upon the Lone Ranger's face, and then writhe and buck in screaming ecstasy for a full five minutes before climbing off and walking away.
The crow are so amazed at this sight, and the depths of communication displayed between man and horse that they grant one more request, to which the Lone Ranger once again whistles Silver over, and in a voice of mild annoyance says, "I said a posse."
A group of senior citizens were talking...
...at the breakfast table in a Palm Springs nursing home.
"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills makes me dizzy," another went on.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.
Then there was a short moment of silence.
"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank God we can all still drive."
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