Neared Jokes
7 neared jokes and hilarious neared puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about neared that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Ridiculous Neared Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What is a good neared joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
One evening an old farmer went down to the pond...
One evening an old farmer went to go down to the pond, as he hasn't been there in a while, he grabbed a five gallon bucket and some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard some voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or get out of the pond n**...". Holding the bucket up he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."
A very thirsty man was wandering the desert ...
... when suddenly he spotted a well. With the last of his strength, he neared himself, and started pulling the bucket upwards.
*Water! Water!* he shouted in anticipation
When suddenly, from the bottom of the well, a voice exclaimed
*Where?! Where?!*
Curiosity
I walk past a mental Asylum every day and yesterday as I neared I could hear them chanting "Seven..Seven..Seven." This continued as I walked along the wooden fence and I found myself looking for a gap to see what was going on. About 100m down the fence i spotted a hole where the knot had fallen out and hurried towards it. I jammed my eye up to the hole, rather excited to see the ruckus and a finger sprung out and jabbed me in th eye. "Eight..eight..eight."
An Native American was walking into the store
As he neared the store another native american was walking out.
Seeing this man the man entering shouted out " Hello friend, What did you get on this fine day?"
The man leaving turned his head toward the first man and replied back "Why i got a 12 pack for the old lady"
The first man put his fist to his chest and said "Wow, what a good trade!"
What song did Cortez sing as he neared the north western end of South America?
"It's beginning to look a lot like Isth-mus!"
The clever old man
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadnt been in a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out till you leave!" The old man frowned "I didnt come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or make you get out of the pond n**...." Holding up the bucket he said, "Im here to feed the alligator."
Be careful what you ask for!
A Scotsman was strolling across High Street one day wearing
his kilt. As he neared the far curb, he noticed two young blondes in
a red convertible eyeing him and giggling.
One of them called out, "Hey, Scotty! What's worn under the kilt?"
He strolled over to the side of the car and asked, "Ach, lass, are you SURE you want to know?"
Somewhat nervously, the blonde replied yes, she did really want to know.
The Scotsman leaned closer and confided, "Why, lass, nothing's worn under the kilt, everything's in perfect workin' order!"
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