nazi Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious nazi puns

What's 50 feet long and has 7 teeth?

The front row of a Neo nazi rally.

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At a Nazi mine, a worker calls out to Hitler:

"Sir, we are mining too many useless Ores"

[Hitler rubs his chin, contemplating]

"So mine less"

[Grammar Nazi chimes in, from above]

"MINE FEWER"

[Hitler looks up]

"Yes?"

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WARNING... Dad joke ahead.

This actually just happened.

Wife and Son are playing an intense game of battle ship.

Son: I-8

Me: I haven't ate... I'm hungry

Wife: (not finding the humor)... miss... E-10

Me: Grammar Nazi.

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People keep grouping all Trump supporters with these Nazi movements recently, which I disagree with and think is quite silly.

After all, the Russians fought *against* the Nazis.

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"Sir we're mining too many useless minerals."

Hitler: "Mine less then."
*grammar nazi bursts in*

"Mine fewer"

*Hitler looks over* "Yes?"

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My grandad was a WWII veteran. In just one day during the Battle of Britain, he destroyed 8 German aircraft killing a total of 32 Nazi aviators.

He was easily the worst aircraft mechanic the Luftwaffe has ever had.

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Hitler on mining

"Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"

[Hitler rubs chin]

"So mine less"

[Grammar Nazi bursts through the door]

"MINE FEWER!"

[Hitler looks up]

"Yes?"

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Grammar Nazi.

"Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"
[Hitler rubs chin]
"So, mine less.
[Grammar Nazi bursts through the door]
"MINE FEWER!"
[Hitler looks up]
"Yes, soldier?"

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A grammar nazi pirate is sailing his ship getting ready to attack an enemy ship...

when one of his men comes up to him and hollers:

*"The cannons be ready, Captain!"*

The Captain looks at him and says:

*"Arrrrrrrrrre"*

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Confucius say: Nazi soldier who popular with ladies may be Hungaryan.

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In 1940 Goebbels made a speech...

Proclaiming that the Swastika was an example of the Golden Ratio.

Turns out it was a fibbin' Nazi...

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My Grandad was a WWII veteran.

In just one day during the Battle of Britain, he destroyed 8 German aircraft killing 32 Nazi aviators.
Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

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What did the Nazi interrogater say to the clock that would only tick?

"Ve have vays of making you tock!"

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I am not a "Grammar Nazi"...

I prefer the term "Alt-Write".

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A Nazi walks into a pub...

He sees a Jew sitting in the corner and says "A drink for everyone except the Jew!"

But the Jew still smiles.

Now annoyed, the Nazi says "Another round for everyone except the Jew!"

But the Jew is still smiling.

Confused and enraged, the Nazi asks the bartender "What, is he an idiot?"

The bartender replied "No sir, he owns the pub."

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Grammer Nazi

"Sir we are mining too many useless minerals" (hitler scratches his chin in contemplation) Mine less then. (grammar nazi barges in) mine FEWER (hitler turns to the man) Yes? What do you need?

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How do you comfort a grammar Nazi?

"...They're, their, there."

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What happened when Hitler lost his glasses?

He could nazi

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What did the Nazi say to the clock that only went: "tick ____ tick ____ tick ____" ?

"Ve have Vays of making you tock!"

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I'm not a Grammar Nazi!

I'm alt-write.

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Hitler's proofreader for Mein Kampf was literally a Grammar Nazi.

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I just found out the girl I'm dating is a Nazi

I mean I've heard of people discovering their date has a big red flag but usually it's not hanging in their bedroom.

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How do you calm down a grammar Nazi?

There they're their...

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What was Hitler's problem when the lights went out?

He could Nazi.

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What happened to Hitler when he got mustard gas in his eyes?

He could Nazi

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I ate a bad burrito and now I feel like Nazi Germany

A lot of gas and I'm fighting a war on 2 fronts

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2 Nazis walk into a BAR

They each get 10 shots

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What did the Nazi call his safe space?

Mein Kampfert zone

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Hitler pun

"Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."

Hitler: "So mine less."

Grammar Nazi busts in.
"MINE FEWER."

(Hitler looks up) "Yes?"

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Another joke my grandpa used to tell me

"So, there was this Nazi who walked into a bar. It was mine, and he died on the spot."

He then cackled maniacally, and I never understood the joke until I found out that BAR= Browning Automatic Rifle.

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Why did Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi

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How many Nazis does it take to screw in 6 million lightbulbs?

One. The rest were just following orders.

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Translated Slovakian joke

A guerilla fighter is caught by the Nazis during the uprising and is being interrogated. In his defence he says: "look my Grandpa was a great fighter, he shot 46 Soviet soldiers, so dont kill me please!" The Nazi guard asks him: "How do you know they were Soviet soldiers?" "Well, they all had SS on their helmets!"

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How many Nazis does it take to finish a race?

None, Nazis can't finish a race.

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What did Hitler say after he put on a blindfold?

I can Nazi.

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What are the most funny Nazi jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Nazi? Well, here are the best Nazi dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Nazi pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes