The Best 53 Nazi Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Nazi jokes. There are some nazi wehrmacht jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these nazi auschwitz puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Nazi Jokes and Puns


...was Germany having a blonde moment.

-&y (yus written by me)

How many Nazis does it take to finish a race?

None, Nazis can't finish a race.

How did the Nazis do fundraising?

Bake sales.

Nazi joke, How did the Nazis do fundraising?

What did the Nazi/Islamist soccer team say when they lost the game?

The shoes did it!

What do nazis eat for breakfast?


Why are Nazis so good at math?

They always come up with the final solution.

We all know that the Nazis loved American jazz standards, but what was Hitler's favourite jazz song?

There will never be another Jew.

Nazi joke, We all know that the Nazis loved American jazz standards, but what was Hitler's favourite jazz song?

What do Nazis do on a beach vacation?

They ride on Adolf-in

I'll see myself out.

Three Nazis walk into a BAR

They all get shot.

Are the Nazis who fought in WWII veteran-Aryans?

And can I bring my dog to them for a checkup?

Why do Nazis love Vinyls?

Cause you can turn the tables from 45 to 33.

You can explore nazi german reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean nazi gestapo dad jokes. There are also nazi puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A Nazi-themed fetish film


So 3 Nazis walk into a B.A.R.

They all died within 6 seconds. (If you didn't know B.A.R stands for Browning Automatic Rifle.)

Where do nazis go on vacation?

The holocoast.

Why did the Nazis feed their farmers dog biscuits?

Because they were German Shepherds.

2 nazis walk into a bar, third one ducks..

just at the reich moment.

Nazi joke, 2 nazis walk into a bar, third one ducks..

How many Nazis does it take to screw in 6 million lightbulbs?

One. The rest were just following orders.

What do nazis and chemical reactions have in common?

Both produce heat and release gas.

How many Nazis does it take to deny the holocaust?

Nein nein nein!!!

2 Nazis walk into a BAR

They each get 10 shots

Nazis really know how to party...

I spent ONE night with some SS guys, and man, I was gassed.

What's a Nazis favourite past time

Playing peek-a-Jew with the SS

Why do nazis rarely get DJ gigs?

'Cause they can't differentiate between 33 and 45

How do nazis tie the laces on their boots?

In little knot-sies!

Credit to: u/son_of_stone

Why do Nazis like dentists?

Because they prefer whites

So three Nazis walk into a BAR

Guess they just wanted some shots

What do nazis do when they first get to NYC?

Heil a taxi

The Nazis didn't use chemical weapons...

The Nazis didn't use chemical weapons, they used the power of german engineering.

How do Nazis get high?


The Nazis were right.

Alt-right too be exact.

How did the nazis measure the efficiency of their gas chambers?

In KillaJews per second

Nazis and Juggalos marching in DC on the same day reminds me of the Hunger Games...

With that said, may the odds be ever in your Faygo!

Why did so many ex Nazis become watch repairers?

"We have ways of making you tock!"

What did the Nazis think made their genes superior?

Uber alleles.

Three Nazis walk into a BAR

None survive.

3 Nazis walk in front of a BAR.

Then an American mowed them down.

The Nazis really wasted so much money and effort on a racist motive which made no sense

It truly was a hollow cost

How did Nazis keep track of books in libraries?

The Jewey Decimal System!

What did the Nazis call their traffic cops.

The Gestapo.

Why are Nazis good at math?

They know the final solution.

How did the Nazis invade Poland so easily?

They marched in backwards and said they were leaving.

Everyone I know are Nazis...

Only because they all use ovens

How would the Nazis have killed the dinosaurs?

With meteor showers.

Nazism, as you know, is a lot like gravity...

All it takes is a little putsch.

2 nazis walk into a BAR

They died

What do the Nazis call a cotton swab?

A swabstica!

Why do Nazis not like checkered flags?

Cause it reminds them of Hitlers failure to finish a race

What do nazis drink?


How many Nazis does it take to change a lightbulb?


3 Nazis walk into a B.A.R.

None of them walk out.

Three Nazis walk into a BAR...

and none of them leave

If the Nazis had won WWII and set up the Thousand Year Reich, what would they have called their leader?

*The Kaiser Permanente*

Two Nazis with a lisp raced each other...

They wanted to see who was the fascist

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the nazi goering jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working nazi mitzvah piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes