Navy Submarine Jokes
30 navy submarine jokes and hilarious navy submarine puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about navy submarine that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Navy Submarine Short Jokes
Short navy submarine jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The navy submarine humour may include short submarine jokes also.
- Two marines are flying into an unfamiliar airport The put the flaps up and descend lower, lower, lower and finally touch down. The brakes of the plane screeches and howl unlike anything you've ever heard. The plane comes to a stop just inches from the terminal. The pilot exlaims "that's the shortest d**... runway I've ever seen". The co-pilot looks to the left, then looks to the right and says "Yea, but it sure is wide"
- BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub.
- I tried to join the Marines. But I fell short of their physical requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
- What's the difference between a Marine and submarine? Nothing. The Navy goes down on both of them.
- Canada's navy has 3 submarines!!! Unfortunatley 2 of them are located in west Edmonton mall
- I identify as a Nuclear Submarine but my high anxiety prevents me from joining the Navy. I think its because I crack under pressure.
- A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine... Everything goes well and the day is uneventful.
- Why does the Argentine Navy even have a submarine ? So it can go underwater and check out the rest of their Navy
- Did you hear about the gay whale bothering the Navy? It bit the head off a submarine and s**... all the s**... out...
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Navy Submarine One Liners
Which navy submarine one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with navy submarine? I can suggest the ones about navy and navy seal.
- Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces? Submarines.
- What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy? A Sub-Marine.
- TIL that in the British Navy, boarding the wrong submarine is grounds for discharge.
- My friend in the Navy tells me I can never do anything correctly. Whoops, wrong submarine
- Why did the U.S. Navy name their newest submarine the Illinois? They are both underwater.
- Have you heard China's NEW Navy anthem? We All live in a Yellow Submarine
- Why do the French Navy have glass floors in their submarines? To see the old French Navy.
Unearthly Funniest Navy Submarine Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about navy submarine you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean naval jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make navy submarine pranks.
After joining the submarine forces of the Navy, I was guaranteed that I would be stationed on a nuclear-powered submarine by an Admiral.
Unfortunately, when I received my order I found out that my post would be a navigator on a Diesel-powered sub with no nuclear capability.
When I approached my command to complain, I was told that this happened all the time and would soon sort itself out - a moderator would soon move my post to the correct sub.
my old man had a joke from his days in the Air Force
Background: my dad was a biomed tech and did work for all branches throughout many areas.
One day, he's at a Navy submarine repair station. as him and his buddy are walking in, 2 Navy guys see em and say 'Air Force? what are you guys doing here? where are they going to put the landing s**...?'
the other Navy guys says, 'fuck that, where are they going to put the golf course?'
So Merkel, Putin and Obama walk along the beach.
Suddenly Obama mentions; "You know, our Navy submarines can submerge for 4 weeks straight!"
Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!"
Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!"
A Navy Aircraft carrier and its entourage were traversing out at sea when they get a signal of an approaching mass.
They comm it and express for them to move out of their way they were on a mission of high importance. "Negative sir we cannot accommodate your request" The admiral quite taken aback exclaims that "Its not a request son, this is the United States Navy Aircraft carrier Ronald Reagan flanked by two naval war ships and a submarine. I repeat edit your bearings and move out of our way!" "Negative sir, were a lighthouse, so its your call!"
(Someone told that this actually happened one time)
A man joined the Navy and was stationed on a sub
A man went to the Navy and was stationed on a sub.
This submarine had a system in which service members were stationed at a certain place.
On the third day of his career, he was moved to a different station for work.
On the fourth day, it happened again.
On the fifth day, he was again, moved to another station.
On the sixth day, he asked the commanding officer.
The guy: Why are so many of us being moved to different stations frequently?
Commanding Officer: Reposts are common on this sub .
The german submarine in the Atlantic brings in a new communications guy.
It's his first day on the job and he's given instructions on which istrument does what and chart for morse code. Very excited about the job, he tunes in and is left to his own by his CO after a bit.
In a few hours, he receives his first message. "This is the Royal navy. Mayday Mayday, we are sinking. I repeat, we are sinking!".
The german communications operator remains super composed. He slides the mic a little closer to him and presses the button to speak. He very calmly orates, " Zis.. is.. ze German command. What.. are you... zinking about?".
A navy crew aboard a submarine are called by their initials...
A new recruit joins the crew, his name Ben Olivander. His crew-mates consist of Fredrick Udell, Collin Kilmer, Oscar Chase, and Owen Omar Faber.
BO is quickly made fun of by OC, although FU, c**..., and OOF enjoy BO's company as he is funny and kind. Due to this, OC is somewhat outcasted on board and nobody likes him.
The captain later comes in as OC is complaining about his poor treatment.
BO, FU, c**..., and OOF, why are you guys so rude to one of our members!
Why doesn't anyone on this sub like OC!?
Trump, Putin, and Merkel are walking along a beach, arguing over whose Navy is the best.
Donald Trump says, The US Navy is the best navy! We have submarines that can stay underwater for a whole year without resupplying!
I've got you beat, Putin replies. Russian submarines can stay underwater for ten years without ever resupplying!
Merkel is about to respond, but she is interrupted by a splashing in the water. Suddenly, a massive iron ship surfaces and a bedraggled man hops out of it.
Heil h**...! The man says. Which way to Berlin?
A German, an American and an Englishman are standing by the sea...
They're talking about their military's efficiency. The American boldly claims "Our American submarines can last a month under water without ever having to go up!".
The Englishman laughs and says "That's nothing. Our Royal Navy submarines can last half a year under water without ever having to go up!"
Both look at the German who remains silent. Suddenly a submarine emerges before them and a man jumps out shouting: "Heil h**..., we need fuel!".