Naval Fleet Jokes
5 naval fleet jokes and hilarious naval fleet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about naval fleet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Naval Fleet Jokes with Friends.
What is a good naval fleet joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A Pirate Captain Spots a Naval Ship On The Horizon
... He turns to his first mate and says "Get me my red shirt!". The first mate asks why and the captain replies, "If I get injured in battle I wouldn't want my crew to worry about me". The first mate nods and fetches the shirt.
The pirates engage the naval ship but soon discover it was a the flagship of a much larger naval fleet that was heading in their direction.
The captain turns to his first mate and says "Fetch me my brown pants!"
That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.
This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
The US Navy
Transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."
Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."
Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."
Barrack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Angela Merkel are having a meeting...
...and at one point they start bragging about their submarine fleets. Obama goes: "We have a submarine that can stay submerged for 4 months straight", to wich Putin replies: "Phwahaha, thats nothing! We have a submarine that can stay submerged for 8 months!" After that, they look at Angela, wondering what she has to say. And with a lot of embarassement and insecurity in her voice she says: "i don't really know a thing about our fleet...so i cant tell"
And just at that moment a submarine emerges at the naval base in Kiel, a sailor steps out and yells: "Heil h**...! We need diesel!"
Captain of a Ship..
Captain of a Naval ship spots pirates on the horizon, He calls the men to arms and asks "Quick men, Bring me my red shirt." Just before they encounter the pirates he puts on the Red Shirt, they fight, the win the battle.
That night while celebrating the victory some of the crew members ask the Captain "Why do you always wear the red shirt into battle?"
"Well, If the worst should happen and i get wounded, i do not want my men to see me weak, so i wear a red shirt so no one can see me bleed." the captain responded.
'Wow' they thought, our captain is really a great leader.
A few days later as they searched, they came across a fleet of pirate ships, dozens over dozens of pirate ships. Worse, the pirates were headed their way. The Captain called they to arms and say "Quick men, bring me my brown pants."
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