Nature Jokes
141 nature jokes and hilarious nature puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nature that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious nature jokes! From corsican pines to the power of nature's healing, these jokes draw humor from all aspects of the natural world. Learn why nature is so fundamental to our well-being with these naturally funny jokes.
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Funniest Nature Short Jokes
Short nature jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nature humour may include short species jokes also.
- The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from... ....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- So what are you in to ? \- I stalk people.
\- Oh really ? Well, I like nature and running.
\- I know. - I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars. But nature is only out a buck.
- The swordfish doesn't have any natural predators to fear of ... ... except for the penfish, which is thought to be even mightier.
- It's crazy how sexist the postal service is. I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.
- Earth is flat! I mean, when was the last time you came across naturally carbonated ocean water?
- I saw two men beating a kid up, so naturally I ran over to help... There's no way the kid could take on all three of us
- Why is it called Mother Nature? Because if it were called Father Nature it would be a lot more predictable.
- Donald Trump claims he won the election by a landslide How else would you describe his campaign other than a 'natural disaster'?
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Nature One Liners
Which nature one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nature? I can suggest the ones about natural and environment.
- All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors... Because heroes never dye.
- Communists make the best snipers They're natural Marx men.
- How many bros does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light.
- People who like being photographed in natural light.. ..should be taken outside and shot.
- There is a law that says you don't have to wear a mask It's called Natural Selection
- What do Tide Pods taste like? Natural Selection.
- How do you sneak into a school for ghosts? Just act super natural.
- When does soil get rich? When mother nature makes it rain.
- What is the lizards greatest natural enemy? An independently informed people.
- Before Mount Rushmore was carved... it's natural beauty was unpresidented. :)
- What did Euler find in his toilet? A natural log
- What does a mathematicion find in a forest? A natural log.
- Breastfeeding in public is natural. And it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.
- You guys know blue doesn't exist in nature? It's just a pigment of your imagination.
- why don't programmers like nature? because it has too many bugs
When Nature Calls Jokes
Here is a list of funny when nature calls jokes and even better when nature calls puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My husband is allergic to our cat, so I have to give him away :/ He's a sweet-natured ginger, comes when called, well-trained, and works in IT. 28 years old, answers to "Kevin".
- A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"
- What do you call it when you put fish somewhere they didn't naturally exist? Artificial insalmonation.
- What do you call a blonde girl that is not a natural blonde? An airplane blonde!
Why? Because she has a black box! - My local grocery store started selling unpasteurized milk... ... They're calling it the "Natural Selection" Range.
- I've been doing this new program called 'Cooking with Nature: Chinese Edition' You'd think it would be tough, but it's just a wok in the park.
- What do you call a spaceship that runs on all natural fuel? The Millenial falcon
- I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa. I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing.
- What do you call a fallen tree in a forest? Natural log.
Sorry about the math joke. - What do you call the ghost of a really awesome hippy? Super-natural
Mother Nature Jokes
Here is a list of funny mother nature jokes and even better mother nature puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- He was a natural born thief. He had his mothers looks, his father's nose, and the doctor's watch
- How does mother nature give birth? With a sea-section
- I guess Mother Nature watches a lot of Oprah. Because it looks like everybody gets a hurricane.
- My mother told me that losers don't deserve to be commended. So, naturally, I took down the confederate flag from the porch.
- Weather man "it's impossible to have every season all in one week" Mother Nature: "Hold my beer"
- When you're morbidly obese, you get shut down by lots of people. But the worst is when it comes from parents... MOTHER NATURE AND FATHER TIME.
- What do mother nature and a boy with dandruff have in common? They can both let it snow whenever they want
- My mother died suddenly from natural causes. I strangled her with kelp.
- Why did Mother Nature trip the last day of summer? To make it Fall.
- What did Mother Nature say when she formed the universe? I'm taking matter into my own hands.
Nature Tree Jokes
Here is a list of funny nature tree jokes and even better nature tree puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Been trying out that 'Fruitarian' diet recently where you only consume things that naturally fall from trees. So far this week I've only eaten two apples and an owl.
- Paul Walker really loved nature... He even died hugging a tree.
- I couldn't see the nature with all the trees in the way So I chopped them down.
- Why did the tree leak? Because it saw the Nature s**...!
Nature Is Healing Jokes
Here is a list of funny nature is healing jokes and even better nature is healing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Homosexuality is not natural! Just like healing illnesses by touch, walking over water and raising from the dead after a few days.
Homosexuality is a miracle.
Nature Documentary Jokes
Here is a list of funny nature documentary jokes and even better nature documentary puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath.
"Here's the cutest baby animal ever."
"Now let's watch something eat it." - My wife recently recommended a new nature documentary on frogs... ...but I didn't find it very ribbiting
Ridiculous Nature Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about nature you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean culture jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nature pranks.
A Native American boy walks up to the the Chief of his tribe...
He says to the Chief "Great Chief, where do the people of our tribe get their names?" the chief replies, "Well, each infant is given a name by their father seconds before the mother gives birth. You see, what the father does is observe the nature around them and let its spirit inspire them." The boy says "I see, this makes some sense to me." and the Chief explains to the boy, "You're friend, Soaring-eagle, received his name when his father saw an eagle fly directly above the hut that his wife was giving birth in." The boy still looked slightly confused, so the Chief asked "Why exactly are you seeking this information. Did you want to know where you're name originated, Twodogsfucking?"
Have you heard about Gandhi?
Gandhi walked around a bunch and built up giant callouses on the bottoms of his feet. He fasted a bunch which gave his bones a rather fragile brittle nature. He was a spiritual man, a mystic to many people. And he had a strange diet of green tea and white rice which gave him constant bad breath.
So **tl;dr** Gandhi was a super-calloused, fragile mystic, vexed with halitosis.
The blinds store
So there's this store down the street called "Bailey's Blinds", and I can't help but wonder that it must be a front for some sort of i**... activity. Money laundering, perhaps? Or maybe it's an incognito hub for illicit products of some nature. I mean, how can a business possibly function for over 15 years while consistently profitable, by selling nothing but blinds? ...It's a shady business if you ask me.
Who Hasn't Read The Grapes of Wrath?
Farm boy John takes the cow to the neighboring farm which has a bull to have her inseminated. The neighboring farm also has neighbor farmer's daughter Sally. John and Sally put the bull and the cow in the same pasture and sit on the back porch and watch as nature takes its course. This gives John ideas so he turns to Sally and says, "I sure wish I was doing that". And Sally says, "Why don't you, John? It's your cow".
Did you hear about the Shaman?
He chose to walk the world barefoot which caused he feet to blister a thousand times over.
He ate only bugs and berries that he found in nature which caused him to became very frail.
This diet also caused him to be plagued with horribly bad breath.
He was known as the Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed by Halitosis.
Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."
Why is the universe feminine in nature?
Because it's made up of galaxies.
Q: What is your least favorite force of nature?
A: Gravity. It's always bringing me down.
Two blonde girls at a traffic light
They stop at red:
-Look at that red color!
-Wow, it's beautiful.
-And the yellow!
-Such brightness!
-And the green!
-Much nature!
-Oh, it's red again, we saw it already. Let's go.
Two Lumberjacks were killed during a recent hurricane. The next day's headline read: "Nature Shows Idiomatic Side; Kills Two Beards with One Storm".
Tag line outside a Breast Implant Clinic:
If nature has given you "lemons"
we will re-arrange the alphabets & convert them into "melons" !!
Why is the world so untidy?
Because nature abhors a vacuum.
What do they call it when mother nature and father time have s**...?
The big bang.
Stranded on an island
Two men and a women end up shipwrecked on an island. Weeks and months go by and nature takes it's course, to pass the time, the woman starts having casual s**... with the two men.
Months later the woman gets sick and dies. As time passes, once again nature takes it's course and they men do what the have to do.
After a while they start to feel guilty, so they bury the body.
Steve Irwin died as he lived...
With nature in his heart
I wanted to open a place where people could drink and go dancing. A portion of all proceeds would be donated to a nature reserve where threatened species could breed and raise their offspring in peace. But I had to close it down.
I really thought Club Baby Seals was going to be a bigger hit.
Dad, the dog is having s**.... Don't mind it, son, it's nature.
Yes, I know dad. But it hurts!
Penguins are scientist by nature...
They always have to improve their slides !
My professor told me my writing reveals my erudite nature.
I explained that my birthstone is actually amethyst.
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Probably photos, reflective surface, things of that nature.
Y'know, dogs have a funny way of proving big concepts.....
After all, Aristotle said "Nature abhors a vacuum."...
NASA decides to send up an all-female crew for their next shuttle mission...
"Houston, we have a problem."
"What's the problem?"
"Nothing. Nevermind."
"Repeat, what is the nature of the problem?"
"It's fine, whatever."
What do nature and dogs have in common?
They both abhor a vacuum.
A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park...
A priest and a rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park. They both watched with interest as a troop of boy scouts marched by on a nature walk. Through the side of his mouth, the priest murmurs to the Rabbi, "I'd sure like to screw those boys over there..."
To which the Rabbi replies, "Screw them out of what?"
I was b**... a r**... girl last night...
She didn't want me to finish in her mouth, so I shot my load on the window and let nature take its course.
I stepped outside the other day and saw a butterfly wrapped in a cocoon.
This morning when I went out it had turned into a spider. Nature is amazing.
Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...
I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.
I've spent a lot of time in nature.
But never have I seen a cliff rad enough to name Daniel.
I named my cat "Nature".
She abhors a vacuum.
A guy shoots a random man on the street.
Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Guy: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."
My hairline is like the French Army...
It's been ordered not to retreat, but nature is taking its course anyway
Clocks have a dual nature...
On one hand, they move slowly. On the other hand, they move pretty fast.
Some lions just escaped a nature reserve in South Africa
They were rejected from their group.
They could maybe ask to be let in the group again
But their pride wouldn't let them.
Nature is so resourceful
It can make dew with just water
My life is like a Nature Valley granola bar
It keeps crumbling apart
A nature story.
I was sitting out in the sunshine when two flies landed on my hand and began mating.
Naturally, I blew them off.
Movies appeal to either dog people or cat people.
For example the Hunger Games has more of a feline nature. There's a certain cat-ness to it.
m**... in the jungle
A m**... lives with a tribe in the jungle, when one day the Chief of the tribe approaches him:
"You are the only white man around here, and now my daughter gave birth to a white child! Explain yourself, or prepare to die!"
The m**... hesitates for a moment, then replies:
"The nature is full of wonders. Look at those sheep over there. They are all white, except for one single lamb which is black."
The Chief: "... If you keep quiet, then I will too.
Taking out my contacts has become second nature to me.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn't
She said she's just not that Inuit.
Why are vegetarian nature photographers hypocrites?
Because they shoot animals.
Psychedelic mushrooms reduce authoritarianism and boost nature relatedness - science shows.
Yeh - it's hard to salute when you're face down in the grass.
I think my dad wants me to be more at one with nature.
He keeps driving me way out into the woods and leaving me there.
I just ate all the insects in our nature reserve, and my boss is about to find out...
I've got butterflies in my stomach.
A Native American boy goes to his chief with a question
Chief Running Bear, where do our names come from?
The Chief replied, You are named after the first thing we see in nature after you are born. Soon after I was born, my chief saw a bear running through the trees, so I am named Running Bear. Why do you ask, Two Dogs h**...?
I'm really grateful that I had parents who opened their hearts to me when I was a boy.
It made it easier for me to accept my cannibalistic nature.
Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding contest
When he gets there, he realizes he seriously misunderstood the nature of the contest
Why is nature so dirty?
Because Nature abhors a vacuum.
Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.
You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.
It would be bad for earth when there were no humans.
There wouldn't be any nature conservation.
How to use religion to your advantage
1. Claim divine visitation of some nature
2. ???
3. Prophet
You know what the scientists always say to build up resistance to distractions and channel nature
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmm
People should have expected third-wave feminism a few years ago.
Afterall it is common female nature to be annoying for no reason.
The say your last name speaks to your ancestor's trade or status or of their nature. I put some stock in that so that's why...
I never let my son play with the Dickinson family next door.
Why do many people with glasses believe in climate change and desire to keep nature clean?
Makes it easier to tell when our glasses are dirty.
I left my front door open and my Roomba got out, and now I can't find it. What are the consequences of this? It has no natural predators...
Nature abhors a vacuum
My kids just got a puppy that is scared of every appliance in the house, but one in particular. I suggested they name it Nature.
Because nature abhors a vacuum.
Rose day joke
Rose is a beautiful creation of the nature. Only today I hate it.
Why did Aristotle name his dog Nature ?
Because he abhors a vacuum
I took pictures of plants during a nature hike
When I went to get them developed, I thanked the clerk for his Photosynthesis.
Man sentenced to 5 years in prison for robbing a garden centre
The Judge ruled it as a crime against nature.
Why, why did Michael Jackson s**... a**... children?
Human Nature
Why is the forest floor covered in leaf litter?
Because nature abhors a vacuum
Did you know, in nature, some times felines will have s**... with swines?
Cat'll do pig.
I was walking with a s**... guy in a park near my house
I told him "Hey look at that beautiful forest over there! Isn't nature truly breathtaking, sometimes?"
He turns over to me and says: "Can't see it, there's these big trees on front blocking the view"
A Native American boy talks to his father,
Boy: Dad, why is my sister called 'Running Water'?
Father: Son, in our family we have a tradition. When our child is born we name them after the first thing we see in nature. Your sister was born next to a stream.
Boy: Oh ok. So my brother is called 'Soaring Eagle' because when he was born you saw a flying eagle?
Father: Yes that's correct. Hopefully you understand now 'Two Dogs f**...'.
An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a civil engineer are discussing the nature of God
"God is an electrical engineer" says the EE. "Look at the nervous system! It's all electrical impulses."
"Nonsense," says the ME. "God's a mechanical engineer. Look at the muscles and bones. That's mechnical engineering."
The civil engineer demurs.
"God is a civil engineer. Who else would put a waste disposal pipe through the middle of a recreational area?"
