Natural Jokes
173 natural jokes and hilarious natural puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about natural that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the concept of natural jokes that spontaneously arise from the greater natural world. From natural selection, to disaster, and resources, to gas, light and logs, natural sources provide a wealth of opportunities for humour and insight. Drawing on topics from the natural history museum, gas industry and science, this article provides an entertaining exploration of natural jokes found in our world.
Quick Jump To
- Short Natural Jokes
- Natural One Liners
- Natural Log Jokes
- Natural Selection Jokes
- Natural Blonde Jokes
- Natural Light Jokes
- Natural Disaster Jokes
- More Natural Jokes
Funniest Natural Short Jokes
Short natural jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The natural humour may include short nature jokes also.
- The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from... ....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- So what are you in to ? \- I stalk people.
\- Oh really ? Well, I like nature and running.
\- I know. - I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars. But nature is only out a buck.
- The swordfish doesn't have any natural predators to fear of ... ... except for the penfish, which is thought to be even mightier.
- It's crazy how sexist the postal service is. I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.
- Earth is flat! I mean, when was the last time you came across naturally carbonated ocean water?
- I saw two men beating a kid up, so naturally I ran over to help... There's no way the kid could take on all three of us
- Why is it called Mother Nature? Because if it were called Father Nature it would be a lot more predictable.
- Donald Trump claims he won the election by a landslide How else would you describe his campaign other than a 'natural disaster'?
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Natural One Liners
Which natural one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with natural? I can suggest the ones about native and healthy.
- All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors... Because heroes never dye.
- Communists make the best snipers They're natural Marx men.
- How many bros does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light.
- People who like being photographed in natural light.. ..should be taken outside and shot.
- There is a law that says you don't have to wear a mask It's called Natural Selection
- What do Tide Pods taste like? Natural Selection.
- How do you sneak into a school for ghosts? Just act super natural.
- When does soil get rich? When mother nature makes it rain.
- What is the lizards greatest natural enemy? An independently informed people.
- Before Mount Rushmore was carved... it's natural beauty was unpresidented. :)
- What did Euler find in his toilet? A natural log
- What does a mathematicion find in a forest? A natural log.
- Breastfeeding in public is natural. And it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.
- You guys know blue doesn't exist in nature? It's just a pigment of your imagination.
- why don't programmers like nature? because it has too many bugs
Natural Log Jokes
Here is a list of funny natural log jokes and even better natural log puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So y=e^e^x was hitting on y=e-1/x ... y=e^e^x said, "come with me baby, I'll show you the natural growth of my log". "Sorry", replied y=e-1/x, "but even I have my limits."
- Why does Euler's Number say it's "going number 2" when it pees? Because its natural log is 1.
I'll show myself out now. - I like my women like I like the constant 'e' infinite in number and at the base of my natural log
- What do environmentally friendly mathematicians use to make a fire? Natural Logs
Just though of this sitting in class, please don't hurt me - What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces? Natural logs.
- What is the mathematician's favorite pick-up line? Hey baby, wanna see the exponential growth of my natural log?
- What's the integral of 1/(cabin)? A natural log cabin.
- What's the integral of 1/(cabin)? 1 natural log cabin.
I'll show myself out. - Why do mathematicians like forests? Because of all the natural logs
- What did Leonhard Euler discover while he was sitting on the toilet? Natural log
Natural Selection Jokes
Here is a list of funny natural selection jokes and even better natural selection puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do they pick kids for the Make-A-Wish Foundation? Natural selection.
- People not wanting to wearing masks is natural. Natural selection.
- What did Charles Darwin say to the animals he discovered "Naturally I've selected you all for dinner"
- You know those people protesting the stay at home order are really doing a great job Proving that natural selection does exist
- What killed the anti vaxxer's kids? Natural Selection
- A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"
- People refuses to wear a mask is actually making the humankind smarter By nature selection
- Man this book on natural selection is really fascinating me I wonder if there are any other books about the Darwin awards
- My local grocery store started selling unpasteurized milk... ... They're calling it the "Natural Selection" Range.
- What did the creationist student say when asked why he didn't have his homework on natural selection? My dogma ate it.
Natural Blonde Jokes
Here is a list of funny natural blonde jokes and even better natural blonde puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a blonde girl that is not a natural blonde? An airplane blonde!
Why? Because she has a black box! - Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth?
A: No make-up. - Yes, I'm a natural blonde. I would say the drapes match the carpet... But I prefer hardwood.
- How do you tell a natural blond apart from girls who have their hair dyed? Math test.
Natural Light Jokes
Here is a list of funny natural light jokes and even better natural light puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Doctor said getting some natural light would help with my depression. Now I'm depressed *and* hung over.
- How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They have Natural Light
- why don't vampires go to frat parties? they're afraid of natural light
- Why did the Eskimos have to stop partying? because they ran out of Natural Light
- What do and outdoorsman and an alcoholic have in common? They both enjoy Natural Light.
- How many college guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer Natural Light
- If you hear that someone prefers natural light. You can assume they are not discussing beer.
- What is the Suns favorite beer? Natural Light
- What's the best beer for drinking on a sunny day? Natural Light.
- What kind of beer do architecture majors drink at parties Natural light
Natural Disaster Jokes
Here is a list of funny natural disaster jokes and even better natural disaster puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- With all these natural disasters happening, Its almost as if the USA was built over thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
- People usually think rolling a Natural 1 is a total disaster But apparently the real disaster is Roll20.
- What's the fastest natural disaster? A Hurry-cane
Credit to my nine year old. - What natural disaster does earth like the most? Earthquakes. They always seem to crack it up.
- There hasn't really been any natural disasters lately Even the mudslides have gone downhill.
- All of the world's natural disaster met to decide which one was the worst. Avalanche won by a landslide.
- Why are earthquakes the politest of the natural disasters? Because they shake everyone's hands when they arrive and again before they leave.
- Why have we been having so many natural disasters lately? I think the world is trying to prepare us for what nuclear war feels like.
- What natural disaster movie has the most gore in it? An Inconvenient Truth
- What natural disaster do painters fear most? Brush fires.
Silly Natural Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about natural you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean human jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make natural pranks.
65,000,011 years ago
Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."
The "Age" of Dinosaurs
A woman takes her children to a museum of natural history. As they gaze with wonder at a skeleton of *Tyrannosaurus rex*, she asks a museum guide, a bright-eyed young fellow, "can you tell me how old it is?"
The museum guide responds, "well, ma'am, that particular skeleton is 65 million and 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days old."
"Amazing!" the mother replies. "How can you know that so well?"
"Well," replied the museum guide eagerly, "when I started working here, I asked a scientist working on it the same question. He told me it was 65 million years old. And that was 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days ago."
Rude awakening
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got this problem doctor. Every time we're in bed my husband climaxes, he let's out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.". "The problem," she complains, " is that it wakes me up."
What's all natural, well balanced, and comes in pints?
An elephant sitting on your fence m**....
Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus?
So he'd use natural logs!
A man walks into a pharmacy
A man walks in to a pharmacy &, after several minutes, walks up to the woman behind the counter.
She asked, "How can I help you?"
The man replied, "I need to speak to a male pharmacist."
The woman responded with, "I'm sorry. My sister & I run this pharmacy. There are no males employed here. Sir, how can I help you? I am a pharmacist & I will be professional."
The man pondered over this & then said, "Well. OK. Every day, I have an e**... that lasts for 3 hours. I don't take any pills. It's just a natural occurrence. What can you give me for it?"
The pharmacist thought about it for a moment, then said, "Let me call my sister. Wait right here." She came back a few minutes later & said, "Here's what we can offer you: 1/3 ownership of the store, a company truck, a king size waterbed, & $3000/month living expenses."
Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."
The Mystery of Childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
There are four sure fire ways to get through math class
Either you study hard, have a natural talent for it, or just skip it.
When someone tells you that the integers are a more useful set of numbers than the natural numbers, stop talking to them.
You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
So my younger sister walked in on me and my girlfriend having s**...
"Uhh that's g**..., what are you doing?" she asked
I answered: "Don't worry it's only natural, I bet you'll be doing it soon as well"
"Really? Why?"
"Because my girlfriend gets tired awfully quick."
My dad always told me...
Always B sharp and B natural, but never B flat.
Safe to say, I'm a terrible musician. Thanks a lot, dad.
What kills thousands of smokers a year?
Natural Causes
What did the naturalist say when he saw a number of rocks covered in moss?
"I'm lichen what I see"
People that climb mountains
just follow a natural inclination.
A woman goes into a pharmacy
She says to the pharmacist, "I'd like a poison that will kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes."
The pharmacist says, "Ma'am, not only can I not do that for you, I'm going to call the police and report you."
The woman takes out something out of her pocket and hands it to him. It's a picture of her husband having s**... with the Pharmacist's wife.
"Oh, you should have told me you had a prescription."
Women are like numbers ...
* Some are Rational, but infinitely more are Irrational.
* The Real ones might be Proper or Improper, but only the Imaginary ones are ever Pure.
* Some are Natural, the rest are Negative, or just not there.
* Some are Prime, but those are hard to find.
* Every other one is just plain Odd.
The Worst Natural Disaster
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench in a park..
when a guy approached in a trench coat. He stopped right in front of them and exposed himself in all his natural beauty. The first nun had a s**.... The second nun was to slow.
A guy shoots a random man on the street.
Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Guy: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."
C Major is the healthiest key to play in
It's all natural.
My math professor explained natural numbers
Natural numbers are like beer. You can have 1 beer, 2 beers, 3 beers... but not 0 beers, that's unnatural.
Why don't cows get ill very easily?
Because they have a natural imoonity.
Homosexuality is not natural!
Just like healing illnesses by touch, walking over water and raising from the dead after a few days.
Homosexuality is a miracle.
I was walking down the road when I saw 4 guys beating one other guy, so by natural instinct I decided to help
Haha, he couldn't stand a chance against all 5 of us.
I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."
So here goes:
Walk forwards.
Turn left.
Pasteurization.
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
Tests
Two guys were crying in front of a hospital when they meet a common friend of theirs. The friend asked them why they were crying.
First guy: I was here for a blood test and they cut my finger for blood sample.
The friend said it's perfectly natural and thats how they take a sample. The second guy immediately started crying harder then before. The friend got confused and asked him what happened.
Second guy: I'm here for u**... test.
Hugh Hefner Peacefully Passed Away From Natural Causes Today.
Playmate Natural Causes could not be reached for comment.
Why do people think its a good idea to buy natural products?
After all, isn't the leading reason for deaths "natural causes"?
"Right, I've been thinking." I said to the oncologist. "I'm not keen on radiotherapy or chemotherapy. At this stage I think it would be best to just let the disease take its natural course."
My wife's eyes filled with tears, "We should've discussed this together."
"My minds made up." I insisted.
"I think your wife is right." Said the consultant. "After all, she is the one with cancer."
Wait so since there's self driving cars now...
It's only natural that a country singer writes a song about his truck leaving him.
A guy is visiting a museum of natural history.
He's examining some fossils when he asks a curator how old they are.
"Those fossils are 65 million years and six months old." The curator says. The man asks the curator how he can know the age of the fossils so precisely.
"Because they were 65 million years old when I started here six months ago."
Hey girl, are you a white dwarf?
Because you're one of the hottest bodies in the observable universe. (It's only natural for a star)
God was creating all the countries and it was Canada's turn
He turned to his angels and said "this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world"
The angels ask God, "aren't you blessing this country a little TOO much?" and God replies, "wait till you see who their neighbour is"
I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep....
Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....
Went to the office without a bra today.
Well, I got a lot of compliments.
- Wow, you look way more natural!
- They look even better without a bra!
- Its nice to see you are your normal self again, James!
I like my women how I like my natural resources...
Foreign and untapped
Why does Russia have so much natural gas?
Because their leader is always Putin
What does a midget with several natural skills have?
Talln't.
He was a natural born thief.
He had his mothers looks, his father's nose, and the doctor's watch
Did you hear about the man with a lethal stutter?
He died of natural pauses
One day, my parents told me about the birds and the bees
"Son" they said, "birds do it, bees do it, so it's completely fine and natural for you to do it too. It's nothing to be ashamed of"
They were of course referring to my unfortunate habit of running face-first into windows.
A blonde walks into a doctor's office
Blonde: doc! I think I got a skin disease!
She proceeds to poke everywhere and every time she pokes herself she yelps
Doctor: ma'am are you a natural blonde?
Blonde: yes why?
Doctor: your finger's broken.
A woman goes to s**...-counselling
Woman: "Doctor, My partner and I have been in a relationship for some time now, but recently he's been thinking about children."
Doctor: "That's a natural thing to do for both men and women when they are in a serious relationship, what exactly is the problem?"
Woman: "He's doing it during s**...."
After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy,
the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age, the neighbor said. Sexuality?! the mother yelled. He took out her appendix!
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The Catholic Church is against gay marriage because it is unnatural...
Well, walking on water is not very natural too...
Why do ghosts love health food
Because it's super natural
