Natural Blonde Jokes
27 natural blonde jokes and hilarious natural blonde puns to laugh out loud. Read blonde jokes about natural blonde that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Natural Blonde Short Jokes
Short natural blonde jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The natural blonde humour may include short naturally blonde jokes also.
- What do you call a blonde girl that is not a natural blonde? An airplane blonde!
Why? Because she has a black box! - Yes, I'm a natural blonde. I would say the drapes match the carpet... But I prefer hardwood.
Share These Natural Blonde Jokes With Friends
Natural Blonde One Liners
Which natural blonde one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with natural blonde? I can suggest the ones about quick blonde and mean blonde.
- Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth?
A: No make-up. - How do you tell a natural blond apart from girls who have their hair dyed? Math test.
Cheerful Natural Blonde Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about natural blonde you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hot blonde jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make natural blonde pranks.
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
A drunk man walks into a bar
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"
The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."
How many sheep?
A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's s**... and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"
3 blondes were standing around some tracks.
The first blonde said "look at these tracks! Do you think they're deer tracks?"
The second blonde shook her head "no, there are no hoof prints. If anything these are dog tracks".
The third blonde chuckled, "come on you two. Look at the even spacing, the consistent depth, the distance between the tracks - it's obvious they're bear tracks!"
The other two blondes looked at the third in admiration of her excellent knowledge of nature, and then all 3 were hit by a train.
Two blonde girls at a traffic light
They stop at red:
-Look at that red color!
-Wow, it's beautiful.
-And the yellow!
-Such brightness!
-And the green!
-Much nature!
-Oh, it's red again, we saw it already. Let's go.
A blonde walks into a doctor's office
Blonde: doc! I think I got a skin disease!
She proceeds to poke everywhere and every time she pokes herself she yelps
Doctor: ma'am are you a natural blonde?
Blonde: yes why?
Doctor: your finger's broken.
A brunette's pain
A distressed brunette tells her doctor that no matter where she touches her body, she feels horrible pain. The doctor asks her to demonstrate. She proceeds to touch her chin, which results in a whimper. She touches her breast, and she starts to cry. She touches her leg and she lets out a scream.
"Stop," he says, " I believe I know what ails you. But first I must ask, are you naturally a blonde?"
"Why yes I am," she says, "how did you know?"
"You have a broken finger"
A redhead walks into the Dr. Office.....
She sits down on the examining table and tells the Doctor "I think I am going to die. I hurt all over. I touch my arm and it hurts, I my head and it hurts. I touch my abdomen and it hurts."
The doctor looks at her and says, "Let me guess that you are naturally blonde."
"Why yes, How did you guess?"
"Because you have a broken finger."
Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by?
The first one said, "
I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde."
Her friend said, "She's a s**... blonde."
The other said, "s**... blonde? What's that?"
The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.
"Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator.
"Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies.
"Okay, where do you live?"
"In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies.
"No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks frustratedly.
"Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
Visiting the doctor.
A brunette walks in to see her doctor and explains that she has a very serious problem.
You see doctor, my entire body hurts
She then proceeds to touch all over her body saying ouch every time.
The doctor sits back on his chair, rubs his chin for a few moments and then says..
You're not naturally a brunette are you
Well no, I'm naturally blonde - I dyed it because of it the stereotyping that goes with. Why do you ask? She replies
You've got a broken finger replies the doctor.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead escape from their cells on a prison island...
... They sneak past the guards and make it to the shoreline. The mainland is a kilometre away, through dangerous waters.
The brunette, being the bravest, leaves first. She swims as hard as she can, but after only a few hundred meters she becomes exhausted and drowns.
The redhead leaves second. She is smarter and swims more slowly, but just as she passed half way a shark eats her.
The blonde, a natural athlete, embarks on her perilous swim. Miraculously, she avoids all sharks and swims until she is only 50m from the shoreline!
Exhausted, she says, "It's too far, I can't make it!", and swims back.
The Blonde that wanted to prove she wasn't dumb.
A blonde woman kept getting told she was dumb because she was blonde.
She decided to dye her hair black and show people how smart she was.
She approached a farmer with a herd of sheep and asked him.
-"Sir, if i can guess how many sheep you have there, will you give me one?"
-"Well ma'am, i suppose, if you guess the exact number i'll let you have one".
-"Alright, you have 134 sheep".
-"I'll be d**..., that's exactly right, well, pick the one you like".
-"THIS ONE!"
-"If i guess the natural color of your hair, can i have my dog back?"
A blonde wants to buy a new TV
She goes into a store, makes her choice and asks an assistant "How much does this TV cost?"
The assistant looks at her and says "Sorry ma'am I'm afraid we don't sell to blondes." Confused and irritated, the blonde leaves the store. Determined to buy a TV, she dyes her hair black and goes back a week later. She goes to checkout and says "I'd like to buy this TV." The cashier looks up at her and says "sorry ma'am, but we don't sell to blondes."
"But how did you know I was a natural blonde? And why won't you sell me this TV, just because I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave, ma'am"
After a really good party
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, You wanna hear a blonde joke?
The person replies, I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?
The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."
Brunette goes to the doctor
A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
In addition to asking presidential candidates for birth certificates, they definitely need to start asking this.
In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.
A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office.
She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"
Bad memory
An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.
The bartender asks, "Whats wrong?" The old man looks at the bartender through
Teary eyes and between sobs says," I married a beautiful woman two days ago. Shes a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed. "
The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, "But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?"
The old man looks at the bartender and says, "I cant remember where I live!"
Gambling with Blondes
There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.
The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told
her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play the game.
The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several minutes looking up everything he could on his laptop and then even placed numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.
The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?"
The blonde glanced at him with a smile on her face and handed him a $5 bill.
You know what I want
A guy taking a overnight train settles down in his bunk in the sleeper car, he hears someone climb into the bunk below him. He looks down behind the curtain, its a beautiful blonde woman. She takes off her blouse and removes her falsies, she takes off her false eyelashes, she removes a fake eye, takes out her false teeth, and puts her prosthetic leg on the nightstand. Just then she looks up and see him. Naturally she is horrified and yells " What do you want?" He says " You know what I want, toss it up here!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head get caught stealing the Emperor's pig.
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head get caught stealing the Emperor's pig. The punishment for such an offense is obviously death by firing squad. In the holding cell, waiting for their fate, Red head says to the other two, "I have an idea! follow my lead!"
Upon being called, Red head walks up, stands in front of the wall facing the line of rifles pointed at her head. The Emperor yells "Ready! Aim!" and the red head shouts "TORNADO!!" The men with the rifles are so scared of the impending natural disaster they drop their weapons and run away. Red head gets away!
Impressed, Brunette says, I get it! I'll go next.
The troops come back into their line and call out the brunette, embarrassed at their gullibility.
Again the Emperor yells "Ready! Aim!" Immediately, the brunette yells "TIDAL WAVE!!" The brainless troops drop their weapons and run and hide yet again. The Brunette is free!
Finally it is the blonde's turn. The troops and the Emperor are furious at being deceived and are ready for anything this time.
They aim their weapons at the blonde and the Emperor yells "Ready!!! Aim!!!" and the blonde yells "FIRE!!!!"
