Native Speakers Jokes
25 native speakers jokes and hilarious native speakers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about native speakers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Native Speakers Short Jokes
Short native speakers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The native speakers humour may include short english speakers jokes also.
- How can you tell if a Redditor isn't a native English speaker? They'll inform you after three paragraphs of professional English.
- How do you know a redditor is not a native english speaker? They'll apologize for potential mistakes after 10 paragraphs of perfect english
- For all you non-native English speakers out there... "Read" is pronounced like "lead", while "read" is pronounced like "lead".
- How do you know someone with excellent English isn't a native speaker? They apologize for their bad English.
(Inspired by seeing an example on this sub.) - How do French women hold their liquor? By the ears.
Works best if you are a native English speaker. - A co worker accuses a wife of treating her husband "like a dog" The wife was a not a native English speaker. So she responded "That is not true! I love dogs!"
- What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer? Depends what you smoke.
(Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense) - As a non-native speaker, I have to say, sorry about the bad English That I'm about to get in replies from the native born speakers.
- Why did the blind, non-native English speaker fall in the well? He couldn't see that good.
- I can't use, contain, or denote expressions that are natural to a native English speaker. I'm completely idiomatic.
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Delightful Fun Native Speakers Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about native speakers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean english people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make native speakers pranks.
Monday morning in the office, a man notices that his colleague is very sad.
At breakfast, he approaches him:What's wrong? You look really beat today.
Don't ask, I had the worst weekend you could imagine.
What happened?
I was visiting an old friend that I haven't seen in years and the family caught me sniffing his sister's underwear.
Okay, that's not nice, but no need to get all misty.
Well, she was still wearing them.
Oh, that's even worse.
Yeah, it ruined her whole f**....
Sorry, no native english speaker, but i guess you get the point.
So Jesus, Moses and an old man go golfing
The first to play is Jesus. After his swing, the ball land in the lake. He runs towards it, walks on the water and grabs the ball. Then it's Moses' turn. Bad luck, the same thing happens to him. He walks to the lake, spreads the water into two parts and grabs the ball on the dry ground. Finally, it's time for the old man to play. His ball lands on the top of a tree. Instead of getting the ball, he just waits. After a few minutes, a squirrel hiding in the tree takes the ball and goes down. Then a wolf attacks the squirrel, kills it and eats it. He goes further and ends up vomitting the ball, which is then taken by an eagle. The eagle goes even further, but a hunter shoots it down. The ball falls down and lands exactly in the golf hole. It's hole-in-one and the old man wins. Moses looks at Jesus and says: "I hate playing with your dad."
Sorry if it's a bit long, but I really like that one. Also sorry for my writing, I'm not a native English speaker.
Once upon a time
Once upon a time a turtle went on its way to school, but when it got there, they already had gone out on vacation.
NOTE: I'm not native English speaker. Sorry about the posible mistakes.
Keeping the job
As a non-native English speaker, although I am speaking English relatively well and I know how to do my job, I had difficulty finding and keeping a job. Turns out there is a huge difference between 'hard working', 'hardly working' and 'hard at work'.
Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?
Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say?
Happy Gravity!)
A recent joke from eastern Ukraine
Two friends meet, both native Russian speakers – as is everyone in this region – but one speaks Russian, and the other insists on speaking Ukrainian.
Why are you speaking Ukrainian? asks one friend. Are you afraid Ukrainian nationalists will come and kill you?
No, comes the reply. I'm afraid if Putin hears me speaking Russian, he will come to 'protect' my rights!
Problems of Bein a non-native English speaker
The problem with being a non native English speaker is, that your brain sometimes just s**... up random words and you then use them later without really having a proper intestinal lining of said words. You just hope you used them correctly.
I just met some horrible racist Mexicans
Every time I try to talk to these native speakers, all they say to me is K, K, K?
So my coworker is not a native english speaker...
This morning he walked up to me and asked what is with all the news story on Donald Trump contracting aids from Russian agents...
Hey Guys!
First time posting here.
I'm not a native speaker so apologies if I made a mistake.
Also on phone, so pardon the format.
Second time reposting here.
Non-native English speakers, try to literally translate jokes from your own language
We might get some weird/funny stuff
Interview
p.s: sorry about my english im not an native english speaker, this is the translation from my country joke (indonesia)
A woman came to a job interview. Then the interviewer says: "You have 2 choices, do you prefer me to ask you 10 easy questions, or 1 difficult question?"
After thinking for a while, the woman choose 1 difficult question. Then the interviewer asks: "Which came first, the night or the day?"
Without even thinking, The woman answer:"THE NIGHT, Sir."
Curious, The interviewer asks again:"How can you be so sure Night came first?"
"Sorry sir, but you promised me only one difficult question."
A talking horse enters a bar…
…and demands to the barman to serve him a cold beer. The barman, astonished at the sight of a talking horse tells him to wait for a minute while he checks with the bar's owner:
–There's a talking horse in the bar, and he's asking for a cold beer! What should I do?!
–Well, serve him –answers the owner– just charge him double the usual fee, he won't notice.
So back he goes, purs the cold beer and handles it to the horse. While the horse is still drinking it, the bartender tells him:
–Well… we're not really used to see talking horses around here
To which the horse reply:
–With this prices, it doesn't surprise me!
*Please note: not an English native speaker*
Non-native English speakers are the number one victim...
...of getting punched in the mouse.
In the prison shower
A man is being send to prison, on the first day in the shower he is approached by a giant muscular inmate who asks him intimidatingly
"With or without spit?!"
The man thinks to himself that it will happen no matter what and that it might hurt less with spit so he frighteningly stammers
"With spit"
To which the giant shouts to another inmate.
"Hey come on over Spit, this dude wants a t**...!"
*Have mercy on my joke, I am not a native English speaker and this joke might work better in German.*