Native Jokes
166 native jokes and hilarious native puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about native that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of native jokes. From clever one-liners to funny stories, we've got something for everyone.
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Funniest Native Short Jokes
Short native jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The native humour may include short indigenous jokes also.
- How can you tell if a Redditor isn't a native English speaker? They'll inform you after three paragraphs of professional English.
- A Native American, Pirate, and Frenchman walk into a bar. The bartender walks over and says, "Gentlemen, hau, arrrrrrr, oui, today?"
- For all you non-native English speakers out there... "Read" is pronounced like "lead", while "read" is pronounced like "lead".
- I was viewing a house being sold by a native american i asked him if it came with running water,
He said 'no, get your own wife' - A dear friend of mine passed away this week. This was one of his jokes: What do you call half of a thousand native American insomniacs? The Indian nap-less 500.
- I once went to a Native American restaurant but was turned away. They told me it was reservation only.
- Why does the Native American always get a table at the nicest restaurants? He has a reservation.
- Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore? April showers bring Mayflowers.
- Did you hear about that Native American who drank ten cups of tea one night? They found him dead the next day in his teepee
- Advice from an old native American hunter: Never go hunting for buffalo with a dull spear, it is pointless.
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Native One Liners
Which native one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with native? I can suggest the ones about natural and original.
- Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.
- Why did the Native American sleep in the hotel lobby? He didn't have a reservation.
- Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner? They lost their reservations.
- What does a Native American Biologist live in? ATP
- What is the brown sticky stuff between an elephant's toes? Slow natives.
- How do you invite a Native Alaskan to your home? You Eskimover!
- Why was the Native American so tired? Because he'd been up all night building ATP.
- I couldn't get past first base with the native girl she had her reservations
- What do you call an editor that sleeps with a native American? Editor in chief.
- Most Native Americans don't like me. Or at least they have reservations.
- What did the Native American do after culinary school? He became a Souix chef.
- What do you call a native american pirate? An eyepache
- My Biology Teacher Asked What ATP is... I replied, "where Native Americans live."
- What did the Native American pornstar call himself? Spread Eagle
- What do you call 500 Native Americans with no apples? The Indian Apple-less 500.
Native American Jokes
Here is a list of funny native american jokes and even better native american puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My half Native American friend Les tried to teach me to rain dance, but we could only ever muster a light mist... I guess I'm just going to have to make dew with Les.
- What did the Native American say when Donald Trump promised to give their land back? "I have my reservations"
- If you were to second guess your decision to stay at a hotel on a native american reserve... ....that would be a reservation reservation reservation
-credit to Brian Regan - My Native American girlfriend was nervous the first time she invited me back to her place She had her reservations
- Two Native Americans walk into a restaurant... The concierge asks, "Do you have reservations?" One of the guys replies, "Yes; mine is in Oklahoma and his is in Arizona."
- Did you know that Native Americans were really good strippers? Every time they danced, they made it rain.
- TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Native Americans tried to cross into Russia from Alaska but failed. They couldn't get their Bering Strait.
- Did you hear what happened to the Native American who drank too much tea...? They found him dead the next day in his tepee
- Thanksgiving. The day in 1621 when Native Americans shared a meal with undocumented immigrants who never left.
- Who is second in command in the kitchen at a Native American owned restaurant? The Sioux chef
Native American Name Jokes
Here is a list of funny native american name jokes and even better native american name puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's Donald Trump's Native American name? Talking Bull
- My wife's native american name is "3 horses" nag nag nag
- The native american boy asked his father why... His brother was named dancing cloud.
it because when he was conceived a cloud danced by, said the father. Do you understand now, broken rubber? - I met a Native American fan of Styx the other day. We talked for a bit, and he had to leave. I realized I didn't know his name. So I asked, and he told me he was called "Tecumsehlaway".
- What was the name of the Native American weather reporter? Apache Cloud.
- Have you heard the name of the native american that became a yoga instructor? Yogi bear
- I met a blind man who was half asian and half native american His name was Rong Time No See
- What is Michael Jackson's Native American name? Dances with Gloves.
- A Native American with the name "Chomsky" would have a hard time. "Are you Mark?"
"No am Chomsky."
Native Indian Jokes
Here is a list of funny native indian jokes and even better native indian puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a Native American with psoriasis? Apache Indian
- Two Native Indians in a canoe and two Dutchman in a restaurant... Who tips first?
- Back in the days Columbus was trying to find India and now Native Americans are called Indians. Hundreds of years later: an American tries to fix his printer. This is Vikram, how may I help you?
- A Native dude asked me, "Do you know what my indian name is at the bar?" "Running Tab"
- A handless Native Indian waved at me today Didn't think that was possible, but he did some Hao
Native Speakers Jokes
Here is a list of funny native speakers jokes and even better native speakers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you know someone with excellent English isn't a native speaker? They apologize for their bad English.
(Inspired by seeing an example on this sub.) - How do French women hold their liquor? By the ears.
Works best if you are a native English speaker. - A co worker accuses a wife of treating her husband "like a dog" The wife was a not a native English speaker. So she responded "That is not true! I love dogs!"
- As a non-native speaker, I have to say, sorry about the bad English That I'm about to get in replies from the native born speakers.
- Why did the blind, non-native English speaker fall in the well? He couldn't see that good.
- I can't use, contain, or denote expressions that are natural to a native English speaker. I'm completely idiomatic.
- So my coworker is not a native english speaker... This morning he walked up to me and asked what is with all the news story on Donald Trump contracting aids from Russian agents...
- Hey Guys! First time posting here.
I'm not a native speaker so apologies if I made a mistake.
Also on phone, so pardon the format.
Second time reposting here. - Non-native English speakers, try to literally translate jokes from your own language We might get some weird/funny stuff
- Non-native English speakers are the number one victim... ...of getting punched in the mouse.
Comedy Native Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about native you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean primitive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make native pranks.
China recently tried to gain favor with the rest of the world by releasing a video of all their native bears, standing in a big circle, to show their repopulation and conservation efforts. Some people thought it was great.
I think it was just panda ring.
Dirtiest, raunchiest, most racist joke you've got:
I'll start -
What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?
Stop laughing and reload
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit
down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there
s**... back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says,
"How would you boys like a b**...?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him
unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do
that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting
a job!"
Outside is snowing hard.
My wife is looking thru the window with a nostalgic look.
If it is getting colder i might let her in.
PS: Sorry my native language is not english and i'm too old to learn it good.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
Searching for Sasquatch
Two men are on a hunt through the forest looking for Sasquatch.
After days and days of searching and not even finding a footprint, they happen to run into an old native man.
They ask the man "Have you by any chance seen a Sasquatch around here?"
Confused, he replies "Sasquatch?"
They answer him "Sasquatch..you know; big, hairy, smells bad.."
"Oh!" he replies. "You mean squawsnatch!"
The Longest Memory in the World
One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the world. So the man decides to go visit the Chief and asks: "So I hear you have the greatest memory in the world." The Chief answers "I do. I can remember every single detail of my entire life." The man figures he should test this, and asks the Chief "What did you have for breakfast on April the 27th, 1959?" After stopping to think for a second, the chief answers "two eggs." Satisfied, the man says goodbye to the Chief and eventually leaves the village.
Twenty years later, the man takes another trip out West and comes across the same village. He's amazed when he notices the Chief, still alive after all these years. The man, stops and says hello, so he raises his hand and says, "How" and the Chief replies "fried."
My grandpa's favorite joke
This works better in my native language, but I am going to do my best to try to translate it effectively.
At the end of a good day's work, an accountant goes home and announces proudly to his wife "Honey, I missed the bus today but I saved $2 by chasing after it all the way home! "
His wife fixes him with a look of pure contempt and says "You fool!! You could have saved $75 if you'd only chased after a cab."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between your mom and an alpaca?
One's a hairy beast that spits and the other's native to South America.
If someone...
If someone is having second thoughts about booking a trip in native American territory, you could say they are having a reservation reservation reservation.
...
Good thing self posts don't grant negative karma >.>
A Native American boy goes up to his father and asks him how they are given their names...
"Father, how are our names chosen?"
"Well, when a baby is born, the father walks out of the tent, and the first thing he sees, he names his new son.
If he sees a bird flying, he names 'flying bird'. A deer jumping? 'Jumping Deer'.
So tell me, young Sheep-a-Shittin', why do you ask?"
I wanted to see where the Native Americans lived....
but I have my reservations...
Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?
Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say?
Happy Gravity!)
How do you get into a Native American restaurant?
You make a reservation
My girlfriend's response to a lesbian joke that I told her
Years ago I told my girlfriend a joke, it went something like this:
Me: Did you hear about the French lesbian who went back home to France?
Her: (Shakes her head no)
Me: She missed her native tongue.
After I said the punchline, she didn't get it, just sat there and looked at me straight-faced, trying to make sense of it, finally she blurts out, "They have natives in France?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Never be racist towards Native Americans.
They will Sioux you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard we like Native American jokes.
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with
his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see
that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground.
He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says,
"about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white.
Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian
knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they
are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a
half hour ago."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Native Americans used to trust the white man,
now they have their reservations.
A recent joke from eastern Ukraine
Two friends meet, both native Russian speakers – as is everyone in this region – but one speaks Russian, and the other insists on speaking Ukrainian.
Why are you speaking Ukrainian? asks one friend. Are you afraid Ukrainian nationalists will come and kill you?
No, comes the reply. I'm afraid if Putin hears me speaking Russian, he will come to 'protect' my rights!
Old Native American joke
A young Indian boy was curious about how he got his name. He asked the chief, "Chief, how do we get our names?"
The Chief answers him, "We give names by what is outside of the teepee during ones birth.
"When your mom was born, it was a beautiful April day, so we named her BlueSky.
"After your dad's birth we were greeted by a majestic deer, so we named him WhiteTail."
The chief looked at the boy a little puzzled,
"Why do you ask BearFuckingBear?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The other day my European friend ask me about our views on l**... in this country.
Apparently, "usually in HD" was not the answer she was looking for
P.S sorry english not my native language
Two natives are sitting at a bus stop
one of them is holding a plastic grocery bag. The other one asks him "What have you got in your bag?" He replies "I got a six-pack for my wife." The second one says "Oh... that's a good trade"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two drunk idiots are sitting on top of a building...
Staring at the moon, one of 'em says, "Give me your flashlight, I'll turn it on, aim it at the moon and then you go climb up to the moon using the beam."
"No! You idiot! What if you turn it off when I'm midway!"
(English, not my native language, apologies.)
A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...
When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.
Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".
He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"
The fly and me
I'm translating this joke from my native language so I'm hoping its just as funny in English.
The other night I saw a mosquito in my room. I kept trying to catch it till I caught it in a corner, ready to end its life, when all of a sudden it turned around and said "Wait! Surely you won't kill your own family!", I stopped in my tracks and stared at the mosquito thinking what it meant. Then I realised the mosquito wasn't lying... My blood was coursing through its veins
My dad used to tell the ultimate dad joke passed on by his Native American father from Arizona.
"You boys know how all these cacti got their name?"
*sigh* "No dad how did they decide on a name?"
"Well, when the first Native American tried the water from them, he exclaimed 'Yucca!'"
(Yucca is the name of an abundant species of cacti found in Arizona)
(I cringed when I heard this and I loved my grandfather very much so I understand any negative reaction)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a short Native American programmer?
A Little Endian
-I'll get the door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?
Depends what you smoke.
(Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)
A boy goes to the circus
and one of the sideshows is a tent that says "Man Who Remembers Everything." Intrigued, the boy goes inside and sees an old Native American man sitting on the ground. He approaches the man and asks, "If you remember everything, what did you have for breakfast exactly three weeks ago?"
Without hesitation, the man responds, "Eggs." The boy is sufficiently impressed and leaves to enjoy the rest of the circus.
Many years later, the boy has grown up, gotten married, and had children. One day he takes his family to the circus and is shocked to see the Man Who Remembers Everything is still there. He brings his family into the tent, and there is the same old man sitting on the ground.
Excited to see the old man again, he walks up and greets him, "How!"
The old man looks into his eyes and replies, "Scrambled."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
US has serious problem with i**... immigrants.
If you don't believe me ask any Native American.
A car broke down on a Native Reservation...
...so the driver got out to see what was going on. He lifted the hood, looked in, and noticed there was something wrong with the motor piston. Without any tools or cell service, he sighed, shut the hood and leaned on his car and waited for a passerby. Finally, a truck came around the bend so he waved it down and the truck pulled over. Inside was a few Native Americans, and asked, "what's wrong?"
"Piston broke", he replied.
"So are we. Get in."
What do Native Americans call vegetarians?
Poor hunters
I plagiarized a book about native Americans...
I eventually got siouxed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say there are about 12 million i**... immigrants in this country...
...but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.
What did the Native American say when he killed his son on a hunting trip?
Bison
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is in an airplane from Miami to Paris
And a stunning gorgeous woman seats by his side. He's the eager to start a conversation.
"So, what are you doing in Paris?"
"I'm a scientist, I research s**..."
The man is now tempted:
"What have you discovered about s**... in your research?"
"I came to find that Native Americans have the longest p**... and Spanish can last the longest in bed. By the way, I'm Carol, what's your name?"
"I'm Sitting Bull Hernandez, nice to meet you"
Why did the Native American undergo cellular respiration?
To make A TP
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call gay s**... between the founder of Scientology and a Native American?
The Indian in the Hubbard.
A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo...
To help him, he hired a Native American scout.
The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo.
After riding awhile, the scout gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Hmmm, buffalo come."
The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing.
He is confused and says to the scout, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"
The scout replies, "Ear sticky".
I work in a popular hotel...
I see people come in to stay from all over the world, yet for some reason I've never seen a Native American here. I guess they just don't like to make reservations.
There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.
Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.
Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.
"Got no clue", he said.
I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"
He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call several hundred Native Americans without n**...?
The Indian Nippleless 500
One day in class...
The teacher called 3 native boys and asked which tribe they were from. The first boy said "I am Souix". The second boy said " I am Cherokee". The third boy said "I am Fukowi". Confused, the teacher asked "How do you know?" The boy responded "I was walking with my father on a mountain top, when he stopped, looked around and said 'We're the Fukawi'".
A tourist group
A tourist group is lead over a mountain path.
One of the tourists gets extremely nervous and says to their native guide:
"You really could have put a handrail on the side"
The guide answers:
"There was a handrail, but it became too expensive, the tourists always took it down with them when they fell"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An attractive woman was reading The History of p**... on the bus the other day...
... I struck up a conversations opening with "That seems interesting"
She responds: "It really is! Did you know that Native Americans have the longest p**... in the world? And Poles the girthiest!"
She extends her hand, I grab it and say... "Tonto Polanski, pleasure to meet you"
A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear
The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the Native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"
The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are native Americans such good strippers?
Every time they dance they make it rain.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pilot bailed out of his crashing plane and landed on an uncharted island.
He soon found himself surrounded by natives with spears. A big native adorned with decorations points at the pilot.
I'm s**..., says the pilot.
God opens up the clouds and says to the pilot, No, you're not s**.... Grab the closest spear and throw it through the leader's heart.
The pilot does this.
NOW you're s**..., says God.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Give a man some corn, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Native American run deep in my bloodline. That's why I can't grow f**... hair.
I have Apache beard.
Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn't
She said she's just not that Inuit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A jewish man walks down the street
He is approached by a native american man who aggresively states
"Your people stole my land!" The jew, knowing that this is incorrect, defends himself.
"i'm not white, i'm jewish, you see," he began, "My family fled here from germany in 1943", but was cut short by the native american.
"My house was taken by the bank"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do native Americans hate April?
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Problems of Bein a non-native English speaker
The problem with being a non native English speaker is, that your brain sometimes just s**... up random words and you then use them later without really having a proper intestinal lining of said words. You just hope you used them correctly.
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft
Today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
