Nationality Jokes
67 nationality jokes and hilarious nationality puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nationality that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of jokes about people from various nationalities.
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Funniest Nationality Short Jokes
Short nationality jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nationality humour may include short citizenship jokes also.
- "How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.
- Vandals have attacked the National Origami museum in Tokyo... We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
- The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but the invention of the broom swept the nation.
- A Russian Tourist Travels Abroad. Border guard: Nationality?
tourist: Russian.
Border guard: Occupation?
Tourist: No, no, just visiting this time. - If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state. We's have a prime number of states and finally be one nation, indivisible
- What's the difference between a teabag and the German national team? The teabag stays in the cup longer
- classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at passport Control at Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days." - I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected
- According to National Geographic, 80% of US adults could not find ukraine on an unmarked map. They're really ahead of their time.
- When you think of it, invention of the shovel was groundbreaking But it was the invention of the broom that swept the nation.
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Nationality One Liners
Which nationality one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nationality? I can suggest the ones about ethnicity and nationalist.
- Why is the National Rifle Association filing for bankruptcy? Because schools are closed.
- 9/11 was a national tragedy. So is 11/9.
- Do you know what DNA is an acronym for? The National Dyslexia Association
- What does DNA stand for National Dyslexia Association.
- What's the national bird of Syria A US drone
- What's the nationality of someone with many knees? Polynesian
- What is the national bird of Pakistan? An American drone.
- What is the national bird of Afghanistan? US Drone
- Maybe every nation has ninjas And the Japanese ninjas are just the worst
- What is DNA short for? National Dyslexics Association
- How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest? Sing the national anthem
- The national anthem is under attack And I won't stand for it!
- What's Afghanistan's National Bird? An American drone.
- What genre are national anthems? Country
- What is Canada's national board game? Sorry
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Nationality Jokes
What funny jokes about nationality you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean immigration jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nationality pranks.
Jeff Bezos: "Alexa, send n**... to my secret admirer."
Alexa: "Got it. Sending n**... to the National Enquirer."
Chancellor Angela Merkel visits Athens.
Angela Merkel arrives at the Athens airport & stops by the immigration check.
"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?" he asks.
"No, just visiting for a few days."
A Russian is travelling to Poland...
and he is stopped to be checked by an officer.
"Name?" the officer asked.
"Vlad Dobrynin," the man answered.
"Nationality?"
"Russian."
"Occupation?"
"No, no, just visiting."
If two impoverished African nations went into battle against each other...
... Would that be a third-world war?
The U.N. initiates a poll...
The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".
Do you think Charlie Sheen admitted to being h**... positive on national television...
because it was easier than making phone calls?
Yesterday was National Girlfriend day and my girl friend really enjoyed it ..
... my wife .. not so much.
Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...
"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"
Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.
"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"
February 10th should be National f**... Day.
Because it's 2/10.
So today is 4/20
4/20 is national w**... day, 4/21 is national surprise drug test day and 4/22 is national unemployment day
In WW2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors
If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British
If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German
If they retreat, they're French
If they switch to your side, they're Italian
If they apologize, they're Canadian
If nothing happens for a few minutes then suddenly your camp is leveled to the ground, they're American
I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween.
I won't be leaving the house.
(Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.)
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
An expecting father paces nervously up and down the waiting room.
"First child?" Asks another father
"No" replies the first.
"Well then why are you so anxious?"
"When my wife read 'A tale of two cities', she had twins. When she read 'The three musketeers' she had triplets."
"That's amazing." says the second Man
"Yes" replies the first "but she just finished reading 'Birth of a Nation'.
I remember when I worked at the United Nations
And one day one of the secretaries asked me to get Kofi Annan a gram of c**....
Of course, I called him immediately.
"Kofi" I said, "right now the only one I can think of is 'oceanic'"
4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.
The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.
The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.
Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."
One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".
Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. He buys a holiday home in Spain, Skis in France, fancies Swedish birds and has a Romanian au-pair.
And the most British thing of all?
"Suspicious of anything Foreign "
Welcome to Australia!
A British national travelling to Australia on holiday is stopped at customs after getting off the plane. There, the customs agent asks him, "business or pleasure?"
"Pleasure," he replies.
"Anything to declare?"
"Does jet lag count?" the Brit asks with a cheesy smile. The Aussie customs agent looks up, drearily, unamused.
"Do you have a criminal history?"
Suddenly, the British man becomes concerned, and looks around nervously.
"What's wrong?" the customs agent asks.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the brit replies. "No, I don't. I didn't realise we still needed one of those"
An Austrian travels to France where he has to pass security.
Airport security:"Nationality?"
Austrian: "Austria"
Airport security: "Occupation?"
Austrian: "Nein, nein, only vacation"
What nationality were Adam and Eve?
Soviet, of course. Who else would walk around barefoot and n**..., have one apple to share between them, and think they were in Paradise?
Queen Elizabeth arrives to Heaven ...
St Peter lets her in and gives her a tour around the heavenly garden.
-Here are all your family members, previous pets and people of historical significance during your reign.
Liz looks around this multitude of people who wave at her, smiling. Suddenly she stops and calls St.Peter aside.
-What the F***?, Diana has a bigger halo than me!! I reigned for decades, saw my country trough wars and depressions and wars again, gave god, freedom and peace to nations all around the world, surely I deserve a bigger halo than her!!
-Your Majesty, that is a steering wheel...
An English spy, a Scottish spy and an Irish spy are captured by the n**....
The n**... ask if they have any last wishes
The Irishman says "I want the Irish national anthem to be played before I die"
The Scottish man says "I want the Scottish anthem to be played on bagpipes before I die"
The Englishman says "I wanna die first"
People in North Korea are so brainwashed by the government and the state controlled national news thinking their country is great. Outsiders know better.
That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, The United States of America.
Russia is the second most powerful military nation
... in Ukraine.
(Just thought about it, sorry if it's not OC)
In honor of National Humor Month, I have one.
People say Mules are much hardier than other Equines.
They really only do a half a**... job though.
A man calls the First National Bank of Texas. The automated voice answers, "Hello, how can I assist you today?" The man says, "Withdrawal"
The automated voice says, "YEEHAW! HOW Y'ALL RECKON I CAN HELP?!"
In a national park, a woman stopped to watch a deer.
A man walked over to her and said, "This is red deer, Cervus elaphus, it's pleased to meet you."
Then she watched him continue to other visitors and say the same thing.
She catches up with him and asks, "Why are you doing this?"
The man responds, "The ranger told me this species hadn't been introduced here."
I was on a first date recently and the girl told me she really liked the national emblem of China
I thought, well that's a red flag.
Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin, meet on a skyscraper
Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin want to prove that their generals have a larger sense of duty and tenacity compared to the other nations' soldiers. So they all meet on top of a skyscraper.
Roosevelt goes first, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for God and country. The general, states " Sir, you are the greatest president this country has seen, but I cannot jump over the ledge, I have a family to think of!"
Churchill goes second, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for God and country. The general, states " Sir, you are the greatest prime minister and have bravely led us through hell and back, but I cannot jump over the ledge, I have a family to think of!"
Stalin goes last, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for the greater good of the Soviet state. The general immediately jumps off the ledge, and is caught by a net a few stories down, where he is met by the three leaders.
Roosevelt and Churchill ask the Soviet general, "Why'd you jump?" The soldier grimly replies: "I have a family to think of."
