Nation Jokes
151 nation jokes and hilarious nation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Explore the wit and humour of the nations of the world through jokes about United Nations, Raider Nation, or Z Nation. See how citizens and countrymen from around the world make light of the culture and social norms of each nation. Enjoy a collection of jokes from around the world that poke fun at the quirkiness of each nation.
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Funniest Nation Short Jokes
Short nation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nation humour may include short province jokes also.
- Vandals have attacked the National Origami museum in Tokyo... We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
- The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but the invention of the broom swept the nation.
- A Russian Tourist Travels Abroad. Border guard: Nationality?
tourist: Russian.
Border guard: Occupation?
Tourist: No, no, just visiting this time. - If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state. We's have a prime number of states and finally be one nation, indivisible
- classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at passport Control at Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days." - I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected
- According to National Geographic, 80% of US adults could not find ukraine on an unmarked map. They're really ahead of their time.
- If two impoverished African nations went into battle against each other... ... Would that be a third-world war?
- Russia is the second most powerful military nation ... in Ukraine.
(Just thought about it, sorry if it's not OC) - An Austrian travels to France where he has to pass security. Airport security:"Nationality?"
austrian: "Austria"
Airport security: "Occupation?"
Austrian: "Nein, nein, only vacation"
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Nation One Liners
Which nation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nation? I can suggest the ones about neighbor and state.
- Why is the National Rifle Association filing for bankruptcy? Because schools are closed.
- 9/11 was a national tragedy. So is 11/9.
- Do you know what DNA is an acronym for? The National Dyslexia Association
- What's the national bird of Syria A US drone
- What's the nationality of someone with many knees? Polynesian
- What is the national bird of Pakistan? An American drone.
- How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest? Sing the national anthem
- The national anthem is under attack And I won't stand for it!
- What genre are national anthems? Country
- What is Canada's national board game? Sorry
- Last week was National Middle Child Week! Nobody noticed...
- A new type of broom has just been released, It is sweeping the nation.
- Attention everyone: there is a national lettuce shortage everyone please romaine calm
- What is Donald Trump's favourite nation? Discrimination
- What nationality are Minecraft people? Cuban.
Independent Nation Jokes
Here is a list of funny independent nation jokes and even better independent nation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Which delicious dairy snack deserves to form an independent nation of from the territory of three authoritarian nations? The Cheese Kurds.
United Nation Jokes
Here is a list of funny united nation jokes and even better united nation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The United Nations is like a black father You know it exists but it's just never there when you need it .
- Does the International House of Pancakes answer to the United Nations or is it the other way around? Serious answers only. I'm studying for my AP World History final.
- I always tell people I work for the United Nations. It's a better way of saying I'm U.N.employed.
- How do you sing the national anthem of the United Arab Emirates? I'm Blue, Abu Dhabi, Dubai
Abu Dhabi and Dubai
Abu Dhabi, Dubai... - Saudi Arabia... ...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.
- Why is the United States always in political disarray? It's a nation without a litre.
- The United Nations seem very concerned about British weather. Apparently there's some sort of looming crisis involving UK rain
- House Speaker: I now invite Bill de Blasio, the president of the United States to give his address to the nation. Bill de Blasio : 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. Thank you!!
- The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies... It'll be known as the National Elf Service.
- A teenager went to United Nations for help... The UN judge asks, "Want are you afraid of?"
He replies,"My face is so oily, I'm afraid the US would invade me."
Z Nation Jokes
Here is a list of funny z nation jokes and even better z nation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do the African nations Zimbabwe, Tanzania, Mozambique, Zambia, and Swaziland have in common? A lot of da Z's.
Gather Around for Fun Nation Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about nation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean united states jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nation pranks.
A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Irishmen friends are drinking together at one of their homes. One friend takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?" His friend replies, "Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... Englishman, p**... Scotchman and p**... Irishman come across a magic slide. The slide operator tells them when they slide down, whatever they shout out for is what they will land in at the bottom. p**... Englishman goes first and yells "Gold!" and lands in gold. p**... Scotsman goes next and screams "Silver!" so he lands in silver. p**... Irishman looks down the slide and, being afraid of heights, closes his eyes and jumps, crying out "OH SH*T!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a nation under Obama?
An Obamanation
What nationality puts barcodes on birds in pet stores?
Scanned-an-avian
What's the national bird of Afghanistan?
Duck
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cold Cold Canada.
There was an elderly couple who lived in a small house, right s**... dab on the U.S. and Canadian border. For several years the two goverments had argued over which nation the house belonged to. One day the elderly couple recived a letter stating that they were now considered full American citizens and there property was deemed as American soil. After reading this the old woman looks to her husband as says "Thank goodness, No more of those cold Canadian winters.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu
For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.
" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a r**... from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the r**... top that, they thought. The r**... calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The r**... won hands down!
What would you have if all autos in the US were painted pink?
A Pink Car Nation!
The USA condemns
unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation.
The President meets with 50 top recruits from each branch of the armed forces...
And says "Welcome! I want to give you all an opportunity to explore the capital of our great nation before we begin the tour of the White House. We'll meet here at 4:00...
For those of you in the Army, that'll be at sixteen hundred hours,
For those of you in the Navy, that'll be at eight bells,
And for those of you in the Marines, the little hand will be on the four and the big hand will be on the twelve."
What do you call a nation of programmers?
A developing country
Mississippi's Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation...
yep, we're ranked 53rd.
A new craze sweeps an Eastern European nation
Though Transylvania is mostly rivers and mountains, a new outdoor sport is achieving newfound popularity. Folks have been flocking to the calmer parts of the Olt and Danube to try out for a crew, the competitive paddling fad usually found in lakes. In fact, the sport has spread from the region to the whole country.
Truly, the nation has Ro-mania.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mexico is now the world's fattest nation, is plagued by gun violence, and has a big problem with i**... immigrants crossing their southern border...
I guess they became Americans after all.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What nationality are Sprinters?
They Russian.
I'll also see myself out.
ELI5: If Silicon Valley seceded from the US
would they be considered a developing nation?
Why is North Korea disliked by South Korea?
It's because they are a Seoulless nation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What Is The National Bird Of Pakistan..
***General Atomics MQ-1 Predator***
Which US national park is most welcoming to Hebrews?
Yosemite!
What's China's national colour?
Censo-red.
America has never been a homophobic nation..
He grew up with 4 fathers.
Religious gardening rising in popularity with today's youth.
Parents around the nation are alarmed at their teens obsession with Sects and Violets.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Germans are always so quick to fix your mistakes when you trying to speak German.
It's as if the whole German nation is on Otto correct.
I have a exotic girlfriend from a foreign nation. She is from...
..... Imagination
The only nation I will ever rule is....
Procrastination.
The National Shredded Cheese Council just endorsed Donald Trump for president...
They're ready to make America grate again.
National Survey Reports Pi day as America's Third-Most Underrated Holiday
To me it's a little bit more than that.
Netflix the clairvoyant!
Donald Trump is raking in the votes and winning primaries like we haven't seen since 2008 when Obama started his sweep of the nation.
Which proves that Netflix was right all along...
Orange is the new Black.
Why didn't the Avatar want to fight the Fire Nation?
Because they gave him Aang-xiety
What nation is the most unjust?
Discrimination
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Its national left-handers day
I'm going to rub one out with my right hand to give lefty his day off
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's National Dog Day and Women's Equality Day?
Shout out to my b**......and dogs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Maybe every nation has ninjas
And the Japanese ninjas are just the worst
How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?
Sing the nation anthem they will sit down
Moses Meets Dubya
George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"
Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"
Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...
Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...
I say let's do it, and find two more new states.
Then we'd have 53 states.
A nice PRIME number...
ONE NATION - INDIVISIBLE
What's the only nationality named after a body part?
Japa-knees
What is Hillary Clinton's least favorite nation?
Incrimination
With all this talk of making Puerto Rico the 51st state, I think we should find 2 more to make 53.
One nation, indivisible.
D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state.
D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This nation really has gotten lazy, what with buying pre-shredded cheese and all.
I think it's time to make America grate again.
The invention of the broom may have swept the nation...
... but the invention of the Galaxy Note 7 really set the world on fire
do you have a girlfriend dude?
Friend: yeah dude!
Me: where is she from?
Friend: from a different nation.
Me: oh really? Which country?
Friend: from imagiNATION.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Even if they all unite against Trump, those seven countries won't get off the list
A seven nation army couldn't hold Trump back.
Why does the National Football League deserve Tax-Exempt Status even though it generated at least $9 billion in revenue last season?
Because it is just as real as the other religions.
I have a girlfriend but....
"But what?"
"She's in another nation"
"Which one?"
"Imagination"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does no other nation have the **American Dream**?
Because the rest of the world is awake!
The National Guillotine Convention promoted me
I'm now the head
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Went to a National Park. b**... about it the whole time.
Got arrested for making "Anti-Yosemitic remarks".
I've always wanted to buy an island and found my own nation on it.
I'd name it Procrasti. I'll get around to it some day.
Did you know that your nationality changes when you go to the bathroom?
When you go in there, American (or whatever nationality you are)
When you come out of there, American
But when you are in there, European
If nationalists got 100% of the seats in the Parliament...
...it would be all-right.
What is Russia's national dish?
Empty
STILL THE KING
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks.
Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
National disasters really turn my wife on
Everytime I come home from disaster relief efforts she is pregnant
National Pride Day should be September 21
September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.
I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween.
I won't be leaving the house.
(Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.)
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
What nationality are you in the bathroom?
European.
Guess you can say that the invention of the broom really...
Swept the nation
I was talking to a russian the other day and he said that russia is the largest european nation...
I said, sorry man, eurasian.
How do you brainwash a tropical nation?
Air conditioning.
For hundreds of years they were forced to work for us across our nation, tirelessly and without monetary compensation. They were whipped, and tied to wooden posts. Even today, they are exploited for sports and entertainment.
Man, horses must really hate us.
Dad joke: what would happen if everyone in a country drove a pink automobile?
We would have a pink car nation.
(Like the flower..... ok I'll see myself out...)
For national donut day in the US
Q: what did the donut say to the cake?
A: if I had all that dough I wouldn't be hanging around this hole.
If Luxembourg invaded another nation,
then they'd probably be hit with a Luxembargo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is Japan such a healthy nation?
Last time they had a fat man 60,000 people died
What's the best nation in the world?
Urination
I used to think the USA stood first and foremost for freedom and equality...
Turns out it stands for United States of America
ALTERNATE JOKE:
I used to think the USA stood first and foremost for freedom and equality...
Turns out that was my imagine nation
