JokoJokes

Nation Jokes

153 nation jokes and hilarious nation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Explore the wit and humour of the nations of the world through jokes about United Nations, Raider Nation, or Z Nation. See how citizens and countrymen from around the world make light of the culture and social norms of each nation. Enjoy a collection of jokes from around the world that poke fun at the quirkiness of each nation.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Nation Short Jokes

Short nation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nation humour may include short country jokes also.

  1. "How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.
  2. Vandals have attacked the National Origami museum in Tokyo... We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
  3. The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but the invention of the broom swept the nation.
  4. A Russian Tourist Travels Abroad. Border guard: Nationality?
    tourist: Russian.
    Border guard: Occupation?
    Tourist: No, no, just visiting this time.
  5. If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state. We's have a prime number of states and finally be one nation, indivisible
  6. What's the difference between a teabag and the German national team? The teabag stays in the cup longer
  7. classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at passport Control at Paris airport.
    "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
    "German," she replies.
    "Occupation?"
    "No, just here for a few days."
  8. I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected
  9. According to National Geographic, 80% of US adults could not find ukraine on an unmarked map. They're really ahead of their time.
  10. When you think of it, invention of the shovel was groundbreaking But it was the invention of the broom that swept the nation.

Share These Nation Jokes With Friends




Nation One Liners

Which nation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nation? I can suggest the ones about province and neighbor.

  1. Why is the National Rifle Association filing for bankruptcy? Because schools are closed.
  2. 9/11 was a national tragedy. So is 11/9.
  3. Do you know what DNA is an acronym for? The National Dyslexia Association
  4. What does DNA stand for National Dyslexia Association.
  5. What's the national bird of Syria A US drone
  6. What's the nationality of someone with many knees? Polynesian
  7. What is the national bird of Pakistan? An American drone.
  8. What is the national bird of Afghanistan? US Drone
  9. Maybe every nation has ninjas And the Japanese ninjas are just the worst
  10. What is DNA short for? National Dyslexics Association
  11. How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest? Sing the national anthem
  12. The national anthem is under attack And I won't stand for it!
  13. What's Afghanistan's National Bird? An American drone.
  14. What genre are national anthems? Country
  15. What is Canada's national board game? Sorry

United Nation Jokes

Here is a list of funny united nation jokes and even better united nation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The United Nations is like a black father You know it exists but it's just never there when you need it .
  • Does the International House of Pancakes answer to the United Nations or is it the other way around? Serious answers only. I'm studying for my AP World History final.
  • Even if they all unite against Trump, those seven countries won't get off the list A seven nation army couldn't hold Trump back.
  • I always tell people I work for the United Nations. It's a better way of saying I'm U.N.employed.
  • How do you sing the national anthem of the United Arab Emirates? I'm Blue, Abu Dhabi, Dubai
    Abu Dhabi and Dubai
    Abu Dhabi, Dubai...
  • Saudi Arabia... ...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.
  • Why is the United States always in political disarray? It's a nation without a litre.
  • The United Nations seem very concerned about British weather. Apparently there's some sort of looming crisis involving UK rain
  • House Speaker: I now invite Bill de Blasio, the president of the United States to give his address to the nation. Bill de Blasio : 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. Thank you!!
  • The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies... It'll be known as the National Elf Service.

Independent Nation Jokes

Here is a list of funny independent nation jokes and even better independent nation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Which delicious dairy snack deserves to form an independent nation of from the territory of three authoritarian nations? The Cheese Kurds.
  • When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called? Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap b**...' hands anyway.
Nation joke, When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called?

Z Nation Jokes

Here is a list of funny z nation jokes and even better z nation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do the African nations Zimbabwe, Tanzania, Mozambique, Zambia, and Swaziland have in common? A lot of da Z's.

Raider Nation Jokes

Here is a list of funny raider nation jokes and even better raider nation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is that famous Raider saying? Next season!!! Hater nation!!!
Nation joke, What is that famous Raider saying?

Gather Around for Fun Nation Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about nation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean state jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nation pranks.

A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”

p**... Englishman, p**... Scotchman and p**... Irishman come across a magic slide. The slide operator tells them when they slide down, whatever they shout out for is what they will land in at the bottom. p**... Englishman goes first and yells "Gold!" and lands in gold. p**... Scotsman goes next and screams "Silver!" so he lands in silver. p**... Irishman looks down the slide and, being afraid of heights, closes his eyes and jumps, crying out "OH SH*T!"

What do you call a nation under Obama?

An Obamanation

What nationality puts barcodes on birds in pet stores?

Scanned-an-avian

What's the national bird of Afghanistan?

Duck

Cold Cold Canada.

There was an elderly couple who lived in a small house, right s**... dab on the U.S. and Canadian border. For several years the two goverments had argued over which nation the house belonged to. One day the elderly couple recived a letter stating that they were now considered full American citizens and there property was deemed as American soil. After reading this the old woman looks to her husband as says "Thank goodness, No more of those cold Canadian winters.

National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu

For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.
" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a r**... from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the r**... top that, they thought. The r**... calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The r**... won hands down!

What would you have if all autos in the US were painted pink?

A Pink Car Nation!

The USA condemns

unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation.

The President meets with 50 top recruits from each branch of the armed forces...

And says "Welcome! I want to give you all an opportunity to explore the capital of our great nation before we begin the tour of the White House. We'll meet here at 4:00...
For those of you in the Army, that'll be at sixteen hundred hours,
For those of you in the Navy, that'll be at eight bells,
And for those of you in the Marines, the little hand will be on the four and the big hand will be on the twelve."

What do you call a nation of programmers?

A developing country

What's Mexico's national sport?

Cross-country

Mississippi's Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation...

yep, we're ranked 53rd.

Mexico is now the world's fattest nation, is plagued by gun violence, and has a big problem with i**... immigrants crossing their southern border...

I guess they became Americans after all.

In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"

A new type of broom has just been released,

It is sweeping the nation.

What nationality are Sprinters?

They Russian.
I'll also see myself out.

ELI5: If Silicon Valley seceded from the US

would they be considered a developing nation?

Did you here about that new broom?

For the past week or so, it's been sweeping the nation.

Why is North Korea disliked by South Korea?

It's because they are a Seoulless nation.

What Is The National Bird Of Pakistan..

***General Atomics MQ-1 Predator***

Which US national park is most welcoming to Hebrews?

Yosemite!

What's China's national colour?

Censo-red.

America has never been a homophobic nation..

He grew up with 4 fathers.

Religious gardening rising in popularity with today's youth.

Parents around the nation are alarmed at their teens obsession with Sects and Violets.

I have a exotic girlfriend from a foreign nation. She is from...

..... Imagination

The National Shredded Cheese Council just endorsed Donald Trump for president...

They're ready to make America grate again.

Why didn't the Avatar want to fight the Fire Nation?

Because they gave him Aang-xiety

Did you hear about the worlds largest broom?

It's really sweeping the nation

What do you call a nation of angry women?

A cuntry.

It's National Dog Day and Women's Equality Day?

Shout out to my b**......and dogs

You guys hear about that new broom that came out?

It's sweeping the nation!

How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?

Sing the nation anthem they will sit down

Moses Meets Dubya

George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"
Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"

Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...

Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...
I say let's do it, and find two more new states.
Then we'd have 53 states.
A nice PRIME number...
ONE NATION - INDIVISIBLE

Have you heard about the new broom they invented?

Its sweeping the nation

What's the only nationality named after a body part?

Japa-knees

What is Hillary Clinton's least favorite nation?

Incrimination

With all this talk of making Puerto Rico the 51st state, I think we should find 2 more to make 53.

One nation, indivisible.

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state.

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.

Why does the National Football League deserve Tax-Exempt Status even though it generated at least $9 billion in revenue last season?

Because it is just as real as the other religions.

I have a girlfriend but....

"But what?"
"She's in another nation"
"Which one?"
"Imagination"

Why does no other nation have the **American Dream**?

Because the rest of the world is awake!

What is the nationality of someone with many knees?

Poly-knee-sian

The National Guillotine Convention promoted me

I'm now the head

the invention of the shovel was ground breaking (short)

the invention of the shovel was ground breaking.
but the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation.
- Scratch Farrell

What nationality are you in the bathroom?

I bet your Russian to the bathroom but in there European.

I've always wanted to buy an island and found my own nation on it.

I'd name it Procrasti. I'll get around to it some day.

Did you know that your nationality changes when you go to the bathroom?

When you go in there, American (or whatever nationality you are)
When you come out of there, American
But when you are in there, European

If nationalists got 100% of the seats in the Parliament...

...it would be all-right.

What's the national bird of Iraq?

Duck.

What nationality are you when you walk into the bathroom?

Russian.
What nationality are you while you're in the bathroom?
European.
What nationality are you when you walk out of the bathroom?
Finish.

What is Russia's national dish?

Empty

STILL THE KING

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.

I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks.

Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.

These national anthem protests are getting out of hand.

Even the U.S. paralympics team won't stand up for the national anthem.

National Pride Day should be September 21

September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.

I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween.

I won't be leaving the house.
(Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.)

God is talking with the presidents.

God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

What nationality are you in the bathroom?

European.

Guess you can say that the invention of the broom really...

Swept the nation

I was talking to a russian the other day and he said that russia is the largest european nation...

I said, sorry man, eurasian.

For hundreds of years they were forced to work for us across our nation, tirelessly and without monetary compensation. They were whipped, and tied to wooden posts. Even today, they are exploited for sports and entertainment.

Man, horses must really hate us.

Dad joke: what would happen if everyone in a country drove a pink automobile?

We would have a pink car nation.
(Like the flower..... ok I'll see myself out...)

For national donut day in the US

Q: what did the donut say to the cake?
A: if I had all that dough I wouldn't be hanging around this hole.

If Luxembourg invaded another nation,

then they'd probably be hit with a Luxembargo.

Why is Japan such a healthy nation?

Last time they had a fat man 60,000 people died

What's the national bird of Iraq?

A drone.

Nation joke, What's the national bird of Iraq?

jokes about nation