Narcissistic Jokes

64 narcissistic jokes and hilarious narcissistic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about narcissistic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is full of narcissistic jokes that will have you laughing out loud!

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Funniest Narcissistic Short Jokes

Short narcissistic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The narcissistic humour may include short self centered jokes also.

  1. My doctor says I have narcissistic personality disorder But that's impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.
  2. How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one.All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves aroudn him.
  3. What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"
    I wrote this.
    I'm now a comedy writer.
    You are welcome.
  4. How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? Narcissists don't use light bulbs. They use gaslighting.
  5. How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? One. They just hold the bulb in place and the world revolves around them.
  6. A narcissist, a misogynist, and a bigot walks into a bar... Bartender says, what'll it be Mr. President?
  7. "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone," Jesus said. As the stones began to fly, Jesus realized he might have made a mistake by including the local narcissists.
  8. My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality I don't know what that means, but must be pretty good if I've got it.
  9. How does a narcissist change a lightbulb? They hold on to it and wait for the world to revolve around them.
  10. Do you know what's the hardest about being a narcissist? Well, when I'm looking in the mirror, me.

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Narcissistic One Liners

Which narcissistic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with narcissistic? I can suggest the ones about selfish and self absorbed.

  1. How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None! They use gaslighting!
  2. I used to be a narcissist But now look at me
  3. Yo mama's so narcissistic... She makes cupcakes for your class on her birthday!
  4. I hate being labeled as a "narcissist" Like how? I'm perfect in every way.
  5. How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They all use gas lighting.
  6. I'm a paranoid narcissist... I'm afraid no one's out to get me!
  7. What did the narcissist say to the cannibal? I'm kind of a big meal
  8. Did you hear about the narcissistic, self-destructive, cannibal? He was full of himself.
  9. My therapist says I'm narcissistic. How can someone who's perfect be narcissistic?
  10. My therapist claims I'm a narcissist, but what does he know? Clearly not as much as me.
  11. Did you hear about the narcissist who performs autofellatio? He´s quite full of himself.
  12. You know what the best thing about being a narcissist is? Me.
  13. Why are vampires narcissistic? Because they have no self reflection.
  14. I'd feel so bad about being a narcissist If *only* I wasn't so perfect.
  15. I don't think I could ever be a narcissist. I'm too perfect.

Narcissistic Quotes Jokes

Here is a list of funny narcissistic quotes jokes and even better narcissistic quotes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A knowledgable quote is one that gives. A narcissistic quote is one that steals. -Me, 2017
Narcissistic joke, A knowledgable quote is one that gives. A narcissistic quote is one that steals.

Quirky and Hilarious Narcissistic Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about narcissistic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arrogant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make narcissistic pranks.

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.
... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!
... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.
... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams.
... Dementia.
But I maintain full cognitive... Um. What was the question?

Why did the narcissistic cannibal end up in the hospital?

Because he was so full of himself.

The narcissistic cannibal started to eat his own body but stopped

because he was already full of himself

A narcissist walks into a bar...

A narcissist walks into a bar and orders a drink for the handsome gent winking at him from the opposite side of the room.
The bartender looks around.
"Sir, that's a mirror."

You know who's full of themselves

Narcissistic cannibals

So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar...

Then the bartender says: These presidental elections are starting to seem like a joke.

A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."

You can call me a narcissist...

Just make sure you say my name.

What's a narcissistic h**...'s favorite state?


What do you call a narcissistic spaceship?

The Millennial Falcon

My psychiatrist told me I'm narcissistic.

I told him to shut up, when I'm talking...
Edit ty RobloxMaster6969

How does a narcissist unscrew a lightbulb?

They just hold on to it and let the whole world revolve around them.

I don't understand why everyone keeps calling me a narcissist

They're probably just jealous because I'm better than them.

You know what the most infuriating thing about narcissists is?

They never think about how their actions affect *me*!

What do you get when the people elect a narcissist as president?

A narcissistic president. What did you people expect?

Out of all the narcissists in the world...

I'm definitely the best one.

Why is the guy who can s**... himself off such a narcissist?

Because he's full of himself

What's the best way to describe a narcissistic fisherman?


Thank you for calling the narcissist hotline.

How can you help me today?

How does a narcissist travel around the world?

They don't. The world revolves around them.

My wife asked me if I thought she was a narcissist...

I sighed and told her "It's not always about you, you know."

Why did the narcissist buy a movie theater?

They were good at projecting

What's the funniest thing a narcissist knows?


Narcissistic joke, Why are vampires narcissistic?

jokes about narcissistic