Narcissist Jokes
83 narcissist jokes and hilarious narcissist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about narcissist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out the funniest jokes about narcissists that will bring a chuckle to even the most egotistical of people. Delve into narcissism and understand why these jokes have so much truth embedded in them. Explore the different types of narcissists, such as covert narcissists, malignant narcissists, and more, and how they can act when narcissist jokes are made. Enjoy hilarious insights into what narcissism means and how it affects people, and gain a better understanding of the thought process behind why they act the way they do.
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Funniest Narcissist Short Jokes
Short narcissist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The narcissist humour may include short self centered jokes also.
- My doctor says I have narcissistic personality disorder But that's impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.
- What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"
I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome. - A narcissist, a misogynist, and a bigot walks into a bar... Bartender says, what'll it be Mr. President?
- My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality I don't know what that means, but must be pretty good if I've got it.
- How does a narcissist change a lightbulb? They hold on to it and wait for the world to revolve around them.
- Do you know what's the hardest about being a narcissist? Well, when I'm looking in the mirror, me.
- How does a narcissist unscrew a lightbulb? They just hold on to it and let the whole world revolve around them.
- How does a narcissist travel around the world? They don't. The world revolves around them.
- You know what the most infuriating thing about narcissists is? They never think about how their actions affect *me*!
- My wife asked me if I thought she was a narcissist... I sighed and told her "It's not always about you, you know."
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Narcissist One Liners
Which narcissist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with narcissist? I can suggest the ones about nihilist and compulsive liar.
- How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None! They use gaslighting!
- I used to be a narcissist But now look at me
- I hate being labeled as a "narcissist" Like how? I'm perfect in every way.
- I'm a paranoid narcissist... I'm afraid no one's out to get me!
- What did the narcissist say to the cannibal? I'm kind of a big meal
- Did you hear about the narcissistic, self-destructive, cannibal? He was full of himself.
- My therapist says I'm narcissistic. How can someone who's perfect be narcissistic?
- My therapist claims I'm a narcissist, but what does he know? Clearly not as much as me.
- You know what the best thing about being a narcissist is? Me.
- Why are vampires narcissistic? Because they have no self reflection.
- I'd feel so bad about being a narcissist If *only* I wasn't so perfect.
- I don't think I could ever be a narcissist. I'm too perfect.
- Out of all the narcissists in the world... I'm definitely the best one.
- Thank you for calling the narcissist hotline. How can you help me today?
- You can call me a narcissist... Just make sure you say my name.
Narcissist Mean Jokes
Here is a list of funny narcissist mean jokes and even better narcissist mean puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My Friends all say i'm narcissistic I don't know what that means, but i think it's a compliment.
- People tell me I'm an egotistical narcissist I don't know what that means. But it doesn't matter because I'm the smartest, handsomest, coolest guy who has ever lived.
Howlingly Hilarious Narcissist Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about narcissist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean selfish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make narcissist pranks.
A doctor diagnosed me with...
... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.
... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!
... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.
... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams.
... Dementia.
But I maintain full cognitive... Um. What was the question?
What note does a narcissistic pianists use to tune a piano?
Mi mi mi mi mi
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Anyone else here able to spell "condescending narcissist" correctly on the first try?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Freudian slips does it take a narcissist to change a light-bulb?
Just one. He holds the light bulb, and the world revolves around me-**HIM** ... *I said him* ...
A narcissist walks into a bar...
A narcissist walks into a bar and orders a drink for the handsome gent winking at him from the opposite side of the room.
The bartender looks around.
"Sir, that's a mirror."
Im not narcissistic.
I'm perfect.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...
Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."
What do you call a narcissistic tsunami?
A tsuna-MEEEE!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They just hold the bulb in place and the world revolves around them.
My carpenter is a narcissist.
He can be really shelf centered.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a narcissistic h**...'s favorite state?
Idaho.
What do you call a narcissistic spaceship?
The Millennial Falcon
My psychologist told me....
My psychologist told me to stop being so narcissistic and surround myself with great people.
So I installed mirrors all over my house.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the narcissistic polar bear get so ripped?
Because he took a lot of polar roids.
My psychiatrist told me I'm narcissistic.
I told him to shut up, when I'm talking...
Edit ty RobloxMaster6969
What do you call a narcissistic clam?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's ironic that Baby Boomers call Millennials narcissists
When their parents referred to themselves as **The Greatest Generation**.
Why was the narcissist tired?
Because he had been running through his mind the entire day
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't understand why everyone keeps calling me a narcissist
They're probably just jealous because I'm better than them.
What does an angry narcissist and a rooster have in common?
When a rooster crows, their hearing closes off so they don't damage their hearing. The narcissist does the same when yelling.
What does a narcissistic owl say?
A: Me. Me. Me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you tell a narcissistic m**...?
You're Killing it!
I'm not a narcissist, but if I am...
It's probably your fault.
Hate speak, obscene photos, and narcissistic viewpoints caused me to get completely off of social media.
I found myself wasting too much time posting that stuff!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when the people elect a narcissist as president?
A narcissistic president. What did you people expect?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They all use gas lighting.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is the guy who can s**... himself off such a narcissist?
Because he's full of himself
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to a psychologist and he said that I'm a narcissist.
That's b**.... A perfect guy like me can't possibly have a personality disorder.
My therapist told me I have narcissistic personality disorder...
I think he's just jealous of me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one.All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves aroudn him.
What's the best way to describe a narcissistic fisherman?
Selfish.
What do you call a narcissist bird of prey?
Eagle-centric
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Narcissists s**... to hang out with
I'm so much better than all of them.
What's the difference between fight club and narcissist club?
You always talk about narcissist club.
What did the narcissist say after entering the hospital ER?
"You can all go home, I feel great!"
What do you call a selfish female sibling?
A narcissister
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Let he who is without sin throw the first stone," Jesus said.
As the stones began to fly, Jesus realized he might have made a mistake by including the local narcissists.
I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
They've assured me it's me who needs the group and I'm getting enrolled next week. I'm so grateful for their help
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
Narcissists don't use light bulbs. They use gaslighting.
Why did the narcissist buy a movie theater?
They were good at projecting
What's the funniest thing a narcissist knows?
Mememes
