Napoleonic Jokes
103 napoleonic jokes and hilarious napoleonic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about napoleonic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Napoleonic Short Jokes
Short napoleonic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The napoleonic humour may include short jokes also.
- Where did Napoleon keep his armies? IN HIS SLEEVIES!
Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter. - Why did Napoleon and his wife sleep with other people? Because their last name was Bonaparte, not Bonetogether.
- What happened to Napoleon when he got hit by a cannonball? He became Napoleon BLOWNapart.
Credits: YT/recycledcitizen - A teacher asks her student "Can you tell me what Napoleon's nationality was?"
"Course I can."
"That's right!" - This guy named Napoleon asked me to join his army. I said yes. I was just happy to be aparte of things
- I started dating my friend's sister and he says we're now Napoleon friends Because we're only a bone apart.
- "Fake News, inevitably, will be the end of us all!" - Napoleon Bonaparte after Buzzfeed posted an article titled "10 Shortest Dynasties (Literally)"
- Why did Napoleon return from exile? He needed more Elba room.
- I heard they exhumed the remains of a legendary French leader, and disassembled his skeleton into 206 separate pieces... Napoleon bone-apart
- Why doesn't Napoleon watch Game of Thrones? Because Winter is Coming
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Napoleonic One Liners
Which napoleonic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with napoleonic? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Why didn't Napoleon get his wish? Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.
- Why did Napoleon conquer so much land? Because he didn't have much Toulouse.
- What happens when you give Eevee a French stone? You get a Napoleon
- Napoleon was the best general the french ever had. He managed to surrender twice.
- What happens when you shoot Napoleon with a cannon? He becomes Napoleon Blownaparte.
- What do you call Napoleon hit by a cannonball? Napoleon Blown Apart.
- Why couldn't Napoleon ride the big rides at the carnival? Because He's dead.
- How do you make Chicken Napoleon? You use only the bony parts.
- What do you call a French conqueror who stands too close to a bomb? Napoleon Blown-apart
- Why doesn't anyone know about Napoleon's siblings? Because they were born apart.
- What do you call a French general after being hit by a cannonball? Napoleon Blown-aparte
- I asked my friend if he could tell me what ethnicity Napoleon was. He said course I can.
- Can Napoleon return to his place of birth? Of Corsican.
- What do you call a skeleton who conquers Europe? Napoleon Bonyparts.
- What do you call a French General who charged into battle and died? Napoleon Blownaparte
Napoleonic Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about napoleonic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make napoleonic pranks.
Did you hear about the gay French General?
He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!
A new doctor was going on rounds at the asylum...
A new doctor was going on rounds at the asylum. He talks to one man and asked him, "Who are you?".
The patient replied,"I, sir, am Napoleon".
"How do you know you are Napoleon," asks the Doctor.
"God told me," and a voice from the next bed shouted out "I did not!"
What is Napoleon Dynamite's Favorite TV Dinner?
Tot Pockets
You know what Popeye and Napoleon have in common?
They both come on those little j**... of Olive Oil.
Late one night at the insane asylum one patient shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
A person in another room said, "How do you know?" The first patient said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted,
"I did not!"
What do you call Napoleon after being hit by an Italian cannonball?
Napoleon BlownAparte
What did Napoleon say to Kip when he stole Deb's dinner?
D-d-d-d-drop the bass.
What did Napoleon say about the chopped up body?
I wanna Bone a part
Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant?
They couldn't get his bonepart
Where does Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
the most famous person in the history of the world
The teacher addressed his class,"I'll give five dollars to anybody who can name the most famous person in the history of the world."
An Irish boy raised his hand and said,"St. Patrick."
"Sorry Seamus, that's not correct."
Then a French boy raised his hand and said,"Napoleon."
The teacher replied,"I'm sorry, Jean, that's not right either."
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and answered,"Jesus Christ."
"That's right, David! You win the five dollars. Congratulations!" As the teacher was handing over the cash he said,"You know David, I'm surprised you said Jesus Christ."
"Yeah, in my heart I knew it was Moses. But business is business."
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
... In his sleevesies.
Napoleon Dynamite
The only dynamite you'll meet that's never going to bang
Napoleon Bonaparte more like......
Napoleon Blownaparte
Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'?
It's too complex
The General's new clothes
Preparing for an imminent, decisive battle, the General calls his
experienced, trustworthy aid over for advice.
"I am undecided as to what color uniform to wear" he says, "what did the
great generals in history wear to their most important battles?"
"Well" the aid says, "Napoleon for example wore a red uniform, so just
in case he was injured, his men would not notice and keep fighting along
with him".
"Very well, then" says the general after a moment of contemplation,
staring deep in thought at his reflection in the mirror, "bring me my brown uniform".
What do you call souvenirs from the last battle of the Napoleonic wars?
Wat-heirlooms.
What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?
Tsar Napoleon.
Why did Napoleon wear sleeves?
For his armies
What was Napoleon's favorite feature?
His b**...-parte.
What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?
A Waterloo
What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs?
His horse Marengo
How did Napoleon eat his chicken?
HE PULLED THE BONESAPART! Lol and a rock for yuhhhhh!
Why was Napoleon's last name Bonaparte?
He didn't have any ligaments
Why you shouldn't ask Napoleon for money
He's a bit short
"I broke my arm!" Said Napoleon
Bone apart
Knowledge is knowing Napoleon..
... was about the average height for his time.
Wisdom is not putting Napoleon in a fruit salad.
They say Napoleon got the shakes whenever he put on his uniform...
Modern scholars believe he may have had epaulettesy.
Where does Napoleon live/Ou Napoléon habite-t-il?
Dans un bon-apartement.
What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster?
Ouiiiiiiii!
Did you hear the one about Bob Marley polishing Napoleons boots?
He had to buff a low soldier.
What do you call a french t**...?
Napoleon Blown apart
What's Napoleon Bonaparte's favorite cheese?
Low-reign
I'll tell you what I know about Napoleon
Very little
Why did Napoleon get along so well with the Pharaoh?
They had Tutankhamen.
"Fake News, inevitably, will be the death of us all"
(~Napoleon Bonaparte; Washington Post Chief Editor circa 1612 A.D.)
Mental hospital...
A man is brought into a mental hospital late one night, who claims to be Napoleon Bonaparte. Turns out, there is another patient there who also believes he is Napoleon, but is also flamboyantly gay. The director thinks it will be interesting to House them together overnight and see what happens.
In the morning, the director approached the gay Napoleon:
Who are you, Sir?
(Heavy French accent) How do you not know that I am the great, Napoleon Bonaparte?!?
OK.
He then asks the new patient- And who are you?
Sacre' bleu! You do not recognize Josephine, zee queen?!?
Napoleon, if you're gonna Bonaparte
You might as well bone it all
Napoleon got shot right in the shin
It tore his bone apart
I heard that there was a French military leader who used to extract bone marrow.
His name was Napoleon Bone apart
Why don't you ever hear about napoleons brother?
Cause they were born-apart
How do you call a famous french cook?
Napoleon Bonappetit
Have you heard of Napoleon's twin brother?
They were Bonaparte from each other.
Napoleon's father during THE TALK: "Bet you can't tell me where you came from..."
Napoleon: "Course I can"
What did Napoleon say when he arrived at the banquet?
Bon, a partay!
No wonder it's called napoleon ice cream
Pink skin, white flag, and brown pants
What do you call a French dictator who likes to sleep and party?
NAPoleon thenparty
Why did Napoleon lose against the trigonometric functions?
The russian cosecs
Napoleon is looking at a soldier and tells him: Bring me my horse!
And the soldier replies: Mon Dieu! Vous parlez en anglais!
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies
(My son told me this one. Took WAY too long for the joke to register)
What would you get if a famous French dictator stepped on a landmine
Napoleon blownapart
Why were all of Napoleon's bones broken in two?
Because he was Napoleon bone apart.
What's the saddest thing to come out of Russia at Christmas?
Napoleon.
Someone asked me if I could tell them what nationality napoleon was?
I said Corsican
The Russian winter...
...helped the Russian people defeat h**... during WW2 and Napoleon before him. This year it invaded the USA on its own.
Where does Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
Bonus: Where does h**... keep his armies? Poland...
What happened to Napoleon after he crashed in the Tour de France?
Well, I never heard, but that tore Napoleon's bones apart.
What do you call Napoleon after he stepped on a land mine?
Napoleon Blownaparte
Napoleon wore a red shirt so no one could see him bleed if he was shot.
h**... wore brown pants
What happened when Napoleon went to mount Olive?
Popeye got p**...
Contrary to what historians will tell you, Napoleon had a more horrific death.
It turns out, the military leader had walked over an active land mine causing it to explode. Body parts were strewn all over the place. Yeah. That's right. Napoleon was Blown-apart!
There was a young French artillery officer, who had notions of grandeur, that is, until the day he stood too close to a firing cannon
He thought he was Napoleon, but he was actually blown-a-part.